Please advise me Re:splitting up and money owed

Bunnyinthelights

Not being unkind I hope,
Is there not chance of working things out?
YOu both seem so upset, it seems a shame to not try to stay together?

StevenP_2

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Not being unkind I hope,
Is there not chance of working things out?
YOu both seem so upset, it seems a shame to not try to stay together?

It IS a shame but its the age old of one wants marriage + kids , the other isnt ready or doesnt , added to the fact that were both over 30... :-(

It`s just one of those things thats happening the world over every day isnt it , its just horrible when its your turn

anyway i digress , this isnt the relationships board:o

MrsTinks

Right this is my suggestion...
I would try to get a loan for the amount that you feel you should be paying of... Now work this out carefully on things like any assets you have as a couple and who gets them too! So is any of it things like furniture, car etc then take that seperately and add to the person who is having the item if you see what I mean. Fair is fair
You are stayign in the flat, is this because you want to or because you have a fixed term lease? After all havign just one income could put a lot of pressure on the person stuck with the flat! So if there was 6 months left then 50% of the rent from her should be deducted from the debt you take on as you will have to pay her share of the rent although I know she's moved out etc - this is obviously down to what you have already agreed etc.
Do not link your finances with joint accounts! Also in my honest oppinion I would not want my ex having access to MY statements! I can see why you'd want to, but if you want to pay half then take out a loan or 0% cards and do it in your name! That way the pair of you can walk away from it and not have anything to argue over! It will make it better in the long run

Bunnyinthelights

sorry to be so nosey
Good luck with however you choose to sort it

StevenP_2

just to say the support and friendly advice that gets given on this website is astounding :beer:

Also i just wantde to be honest , it is me instigating the end of our relationship although it still hurts me terribly , so even more reason why i dont want to leave her with everything on her own
the LL is a friend and im hoping he will agree ,if not i will look around and i suppose it will be oike going back in time 10 years and searching the bedsit ad`s again...!

Steven

bank_of_slate

:grouphug: Big (dodgy looking) hugs for Steven
...Linda xx

StevenP_2

bank_of_slate wrote: »

:grouphug: Big (dodgy looking) hugs for Steven
...Linda xx

Lol THAT sort of hug would probably cheer me up no end:D

Burlesque_Babe

I set up a standing order to make a monthly payment to my ex which worked as we did stay friends after the initial pain.

I would suggest setting up a standing order payment but possibly pay it direct to the loan or CC company, that way you know they are getting the money each month. Alternatively set it up so the money goes to your ex. Ask that she keeps the statements and then in 12 months you can ask if you can just see how things are progressing. If she doesn't pay for any reason, then you can see it has happened and you then know you aren't paying it off for her.

Bunnyinthelights

Good idea Keren

StevenP_2

keren29 wrote: »

I would suggest setting up a standing order payment but possibly pay it direct to the loan or CC company

That is the one idea i didnt think of , thanks