Please advise me Re:splitting up and money owed

Kevicho

StevenP wrote: »

but i am not asking from a legal standpoint mate
I just want advice on the best way to get each others share to the same place , ie the creditors !

Just wrote a resonably long post with ideas, but browser locked up and im not really inclined to retype it all.

Anyways one point in a nutshell
Set up a seperate current account, once youve worked out how much the debts are and how much you both can afford, pay money via a standing order into this account each month, and then instruct creditors to take money from there.
That will make the process easier, and automatic

Also re my last post was reasonable advice, as its her who will be most affected if things dont get paid

StevenP_2

dancingfairy wrote: »

I think maybe if you both did SOA's seperately and assessed what both your situations will be like. Then sit down and see what you can come up with - ie is one earning more than the other and can pay more? is one going to have a much higher rent bill and can afford less of the repayments? that sort of thing. You obviously need to work out whether you can afford to live serperately and then how much you will have left to pay debts off.


As far as I know you are only liable for debts in your name. I think it might be best to get some professional advice on this one.

Hiya

Yes i would be left with the rent , my ex would go back to live with her gran , her surviving relative , she earns more than me by a small amount but has her nans house as inheritance to fall back on at some point
Its just really messy and thinking about it all makes my head hurt !

jessicad_2

southernscouser wrote: »

Personally I don't think this is a good option!

You leave yourself open to a hell of a lot of trouble. Firstly you will have a financial association with each other. Your ex's credit record will impact yours and vice versa.

Either of you could withdraw all money in this account and the other party can do nothing about it.

For a seperated couple it could be really messy!

:undecided

I agree this could be a risky option. And it will come down to how amicable you are at the moment, and how reasonable you can be in the future especially when your lives go in separate directions

Kevicho

StevenP wrote: »

Thanks for your kind words and advice

My thinking is that i should set up a standing order to her account for half the money
But the problem is when will i know the debts going down or even finished , if we arent able to remain cordial enough to share looking at credit card statemenst etc i could be paying forever !

Thanks again though for your advice :beer:

Another perspective.

Just reading your other post it sounds like your ex is going to be living rent free and earning more money than you which means shell be able to pay debts quicker or have more social life.

Either way, what you could do is once youve worked out how much you owe, pick a fair figure of the debt she is left with and then use your monthly figure to come to a term, then offer to pay that amount of money over that term.

Again you have no legal responsibility to do this, so I wouldnt sign anything, it sounds like the ex is going to be ok from a financial standpoint.

beanielou

Good advice there.
Welcome to the forum.

StevenP_2

Hi all

Thanks for all your advice
I am worried about the long term affects of all this so i was wondering..

As we built the debt as a couple would it not be a good idea to try and arrange ME still receiving the Halfiax and BOS bills and coupled with my EGG bills , paying them myself , the thing is i dont want to just endlessly pay money and not know whats happening with the balances , she could be out shopping on a card that im paying ! (not saying she will but how will i know a year from now ?!)

Does this seem fair ? or will i end be the one losing out going by the figures i posted yesterday ?

Thanks again

Dan

jessicad_2

if you have any doubts then don't take on debts or offer to pay debts that are in someone else's name. The way it seems to me, is that your choices are as follows:

1. Put the debt you take responsibility for, into your name, by either a loan or balance transfer onto a credit card in your name, and then pay them off yourself so you have control of clearing your part of the debt and this is your own responsibility.

2.Give your ex a lump sum to cover and pay off your half of the debt - I would do this through legal channels and have it witnessed so that it is agreed this is what the money is for, and once paid you no longer have a any association with the debts - as these are in her name I believe you can't legally be chased for them anyway.

3. Walk away, leaving the debts in your ex's name for them to deal with.

4. Set up a joint account - risky and open to abuse by either party, plus your tied to each others finances (not recommended)

Personally, if I was separating from someone I would also want to extract myself from joint finances. The route you're suggesting would not allow that and again is open to abuse by either party. Personally I think a lump sum or transferring debt into your name would be the way to go if you really are going to pay back half the amount each.

tcclalel

I know of people who have split up and amiacable they were to begin with.
I personally would do as some people have mentioned and get a loan each to cover half the costs.
You can then see the real situation.
One guy I know at the moment owes £10,000 on a joint loan because his ex declared herself bankcrupt. He only put his name on this loan when they were together 2 years ago as he was helping her out - not anymore.
You can never tell what is round the corner....

findingmyownway

All credit for you for taking this moral view - your ex should be very grateful to you. Perhaps you should explain to her that you are under no obligation to pay any of the debts in her name, BUT as a gesture of goodwill you will take transfer Halifax £1700, BOS £2300 & Barclaycard £6500 into you name leaving you with about £15K CC debt and her with the Barclays Loan of £18000.

I feel obliged to point out here thought that your minimum monthly payments on 5 CCs is likely to be MUCH higher than hers on a loan. How likely do you think you will be able to get 0% cards / a better rate loan? If you do go down this route you'd be better to apply for the cards BEFORE you officially transfer her debt to your name cos your credit rating will look better.

Well done for taking such a sensible attitude.

StevenP_2

Thanks all (again)

The thing is , unless she had cheated on me then i just couldnt sleep at night knowing we had both benefitted(?!) from credit and now i`ve just walked off

Karma would get me and i`d probably get laid off or something

I think what i will propse , which is hard enough as its still all quite raw and upsetting is i will pay to her an agreed amount for an agreed time..because i should be able to calculate how many payments would clear the debts mentioned ?

We also have the rent as well to sort out , i have to ask my LL if he will take a reduced amount as i cant afford everything on my own

Life can be very hard sometimes as we all know

Thanks again

Steve