Am I right to feel so annoyed?

Jet

Hi,

Yes she has 2 kids by 2 different father's - both of which have good jobs. :j

I really think that maintenance should be taken into account when working out tax credits as it is for income support and housing / council tax benefit.

Absent Father's should definetly be providing for their kids but if they are, why should the state also be providing?? Wouldn't that money be better spent elsewhere?

Oh and while we're on the subject, why does the government state that £X amount of income support is what a family of X amount of people should be able to survive on and yet there is no set amount for maintenance? How can we say that it costs X amount to bring up your kids if the state is paying but not if the absent parent is paying?

I've been on both sides of this - I've lived with an absent parent and also been the "parent with care" and I think the system is unfair.

Rage_in_Eden

Oh don't talk to me about Government rules. My Mum - a widow on a widow's pension - was encouraged to keep me in full time education at college where i did a BTEC (not that I have used it really and only did it for the secretarial qualifications and what a godsend they have been....). as she owned her own house we were classed as "rich" and didn't get anything - she ran a house and fed us/clothed us etc on £56 a week - admittedly it was the 80s but it still wasn't much then. God alone knows how she managed to pay the mortgage when I was at schoool when the only extra she got was the children's allowance. I have her account books and it makes heartbreaking reading thanks to my sisters and their demands for M&S presents for their kids at christmas and birthdays. Unfortunately my Mother was one of the old style proud people and didn't want them to know she was struggling - although often we had to cut back on the food front to pay bills. I suppose inb one way I have her to thank for my no nonsense approach to money now. we could claim nothing - it was soul destroying. I personally think that the constant stress is what ground dher down and caused her to pass away at 67 in 96. Government? They are only interested in you if you've got a voice and the poor don't have one. Gosh I sound such a revolutionary and to think I met Mrs Thatcher and Winston Churchill Jnr came to my Dad's funeral.......

kscour

Rage in Eden - your mum was obviously one in a million and yet I'm sure there were many more of her out there pulling rabbits out of hats to keep everything looking rosy for those she loved. You are blessed/cursed at being one of the caring perceptive ones who saw past what she did and would rather she was happy and not worrying about the puse strings than keeping on pulling them rabbits out time after time.
Your mum has given you the best present ever and not one that M&S sell - appreciation and self worth - hold them close.
The people you work with don't appreciate things or their value - their loss not yours
I was once told (by a relative can you believe!) you've got this business and all you had to do was lie on your back (the axe I threw has now been surgically removed!!) I just pointed out that I was willing to marry an amazing guy who had a passion and self belief and then I was prepared to live totally on (well actually well below) the breadline to support him while he built up the business (sounds grand but I'm still waiting to earn what we would on equivialant paid wages if we weren't self employed) while I worked full time & overtime, did everything around the house because he wasn't there & took on extra work as well to help pay for non essentials like cough mixture & council tax.
There are scroungers and there are workers - be proud of your beliefs because I'm sure your mum & dad are very very proud of you now regardless of where you do or don't take your holidays

Loadsabob

The benefits system drives me mad. I've never been on benefits, but my boyfriend currently is - Incapacity Benefit, and housing benefit. He hates being on benefits, having worked all his life, and he's fiercely independent. He lived on the breadline as a mature student, finishing his degree when I met him, and now he rents a room living with his landlord, and is actually paying off his student overdraft from his benefits, through very careful budgeting, which I think is remarkable. Having been together nearly six years, we would love to live together at some point, but the system doesn't allow for him to receive a revised quote of the level of benefits he would receive if he lived with me. This is ridiculous! He would expect to get less, of course, and imagines the housing benefit would be gone for a start, because they'd expect me to pay all the rent. A bit stupid, but I can understand that, as it's within my means to do so where I live now, and he has to find £10 a week to go with his housing benefit to make up his current rent anyway, so that £40 a month would be a bit of help with my rent. But as for living money, there's no way he'd consider living with me if his benefit was going to be cut to the point that I was expected to completely support him financially. He would just feel terrible. He feels bad enough that the state is helping him out. However, if he was able to get a "quote" of revised benefits, he would be able to see whether he could manage financially living with me, and make that decision. His benefits would of course drop, saving the state a fair bit of money each year. But no, they prefer their policy of "You'd actually have to give up your room and move in with your girlfriend and then re-apply for your benefits and only then could we tell you what you'd be entitled to" policy, so it's a massive leap of faith that would be stupid to make as he may end up feeling wholly dependant on me, and he wouldn't be happy with that. So people stay where they are, on the same benefits, because it's too precarious to move!

Hopefully this will all be irrelevant in a year or so, when he hopes to be able to move off benefits and into work. But for now, the state has created a situation where they could save themselves money in benefits pay-outs, but don't, because they won't give people the information they need to make life choices.

The whole system, start to finish, is flawed and does nothing to help people off benefits AT ALL...and the frustrating thing is, it's not rocket science!!! I could sort it out for them!!!!!!!! Save them a fortune, make people feel more independent, stop tax credits to families on joint incomes of £50K - (WHAT??!)...IF I RULED THE WORLD!!!!!!...

Rage_in_Eden

Y'know it's been really heartwarming to see that I am not the only person who is a miserable, oopps, sorry i meant to say decent person. I often look around and wonder what kind of society we are creating where footballers earn more than heart surgeons and you are judged by what car you drive/trainers you wear etc. I will give you an example. Wehn we were to Greece a few years ago on a bargain bucket holiday we went over the Turkey for the day. Home of the fake, I mean, replica goods. I saw a purple snakeskin gucci handbag which was soooo tacky it had to be purchased for £5. Now, (a) I'm sure you can't get purple snakeskin; (b) it is sooo tacky it's fab and (c) like gucci would make any that tacky. OH and I now have much fun wearing it to swanky pubs in manchester city centre (diet coke for me!) and watching as people part when i get to the bar. we find it very funny and very sad at the same time.......