Son and Work

tinkerbell84

Conor wrote: »

Actually, you can. I left home at 16.

I wasn't much older when I moved out.

Batty_3

Phirefly wrote: »

If my Mum had felt that way about me at 16 I might have been a bit hacked off with the world too.

Hmmmmmmmmmm not sure how this answers my question but thanks for your input.

Batty_3

Conor wrote: »

Actually, you can. I left home at 16.

Really? I thought parents had responsibility until 18 at least? My son is 15 at the moment.

Batty_3

MrsE wrote: »

Well i'm sorry then. But I'm amazed you posted such a thing.

DO NOT help him sit around on the dole. Make him get out & get to work.

Tell him education, work or find somewhere else to live. I honestly weouldn't dream of aiding him to go on the dole if he were my son.

Appology accepted. I didn't want to stir up feelings, I just wanted an answer so that I could go back to 'smart-alec' and tell him he WONT get money if he tried to sign on at 16. The links I followed all seem to be for benefits for young parents (at 16????) and for students.

The plain and simple answer is no work = no money and that's what I wanted to confirm. He's 15 - he THINKS he knows it all. He's in for a shock isn't he?

ohreally

Not wishing to get into the politics or start a social debate, the benefits system was introduced as a safety net for those in need not as a lifestyle choice....learned behaviour seems to be screaming out from your post. Your son sounds as though he needs strong encouragement and guidance (boot up the @rse) to remain in education and focus his attention on improving his prospects both in the short and longer term. Impress upon him that simply leaving school is not an option. Either he remains at school, goes to college or finds remunerated work.

Conor_3

Batty wrote: »

Really? I thought parents had responsibility until 18 at least? My son is 15 at the moment.

It's more that you need your parents permission to do certain things until you're 18.

dad-of-4

what a sad country we live in when a sixteen yr old can leave school with no desire to move on in life.

autismmum

i have the other problem almost the flip side, my son has a complex diagnosis and autism, hethinks when he leaves the special needs college at 19 he will be able to walk into game or gamestation or similar and get a job, its tough explaining that might not happen, but keeping his self esteem up at the same time, more likely to be moving supermarket trollies poor lad, i realy would like to think that society will accept him, but its more likely to not. hope your sons out look improves, i think its to do with the attitude of whats the point? the young people see the media portrail of the beckhams and super rich and many youngsters cant see that they are just as valid as individuals doing any small job. what about the princes trust.. if he's a sporty type he might enjoy roc climbing and absailing team work experiance and a little fnancial help at the same time, please have a look at http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/
my hubby worked for them for a while and he saw real attitude adjustments take place and they help the local community too.

Idiophreak

autismmum wrote: »

i have the other problem almost the flip side, my son has a complex diagnosis and autism, hethinks when he leaves the special needs college at 19 he will be able to walk into game or gamestation or similar and get a job, its tough explaining that might not happen, but keeping his self esteem up at the same time, more likely to be moving supermarket trollies

Actually, you'd expect that some of these places will be "equal ops employers", some may even need to fill "disability targets" (a disgusting notion, but that's besides the point..) - so he might find this easier than you think - also consider these places need stock room staff, stuff of that nature, so hopefully he could find something a little better than trolly-dollying.

As to the OP - rent's the way forward. You explain to the kid that you're going to be short of cash and need him to pay his way if he's not studying. He won't have any major outgoings at that age, so £300-400 per month sounds reasonable. Explain that you don't accept benefit money in this arrangement and he's left with three options:
1) Go back to school.
2) Get a job.
3) Find somewhere else to live.

It seems harsh, but I'd be ashamed of that kinda attitude in my kid and wouldn't stand for it.

autismmum

ooooh tough love, probably for the best