gambling addiction - hubby

suexxx

The think is its in the open and you can now get on and sort it !
I think the advise from XGINGERX is sound advice .
Its so easy to get on these gambling websites,i must admit i go on the bingo ones,i used to go on quite offten when i felt down,but u just feel more down when u lose but i love bingo so what i do now is i just put £10 on every now and again(if i have the money) but treat it as a treat rather than going on just for the heck of it.

Good luck !

RecoveringAlcoholic

There is help out there.

Good luck!

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

carolinela

i dont know what to suggest. But i will be keeping up for any advise as im in a very similar situation.
When we got together he would gamble in betting shops, not big losses as he never had credit cards. Then he got one and spent all (taken out as cash) on roulette machines. We then agreed no more betting shops. Soon after the internet came in to our home and 5 credit cards later he owes about hes yearly wage. Many times we've talked and then no gambling for a few months and then it gets worse than before.
The problem is hes an addict. And im too much of a walk over.

stapeley

Internet gambling a road to ruin . No point in shouting and threatening . Theres only one choice to make ! Tell him/her to make the choice ,its either you or the gambling . If they make the wrong choice , kick them out , end of !

chappers

hannahgibbs wrote: »

Not strictly a DFW thread, but will be soon if things don't change! My husband seems to be addicted to gambling, he has lost over £800 in 2 weeks :mad: Fortunately (if you can call it that) he is back in Iraq now, so can't access gambling websites for the next 3 months. I need some ideas about how to help him please. I can't do this on my own.

You say its not DFW stuff but if you let it continue it soon will be.

Most addicts no matter what it is they're addicted to never tell the whole truth, and usually in my experience never fully own up to their addiction until something catastrophic happens as a result of it.
i have a friend who is addicted and whilst living on his own can keep himself going, ok he will spend his last penny on gambling, but is never in debt and always pays his rent.
However his gambling has cost him two long term relationships since I have known him and one before that, he has been to GA more times than I can remember and is still at it.
Its adifficult thing and as I say it's generally not until something serious happens that addicts sit up and take note.
There are things you can putin place to limit his gambling but stopping it all together thats up to him .

hannahgibbs

stapeley wrote: »

If they make the wrong choice , kick them out , end of !

Thanks for your support :rolleyes: I got married for life, so it's my problem now too. But I'm not going to let it/him wreck my life. If need be, I will take full control of all finances and give him spending money

busy_today_mate

It's a disease. Just like being addicted to drink or drugs. The only way you will beat it is by taking all his money from him and giving him pocket money. I have a friend who is a bookmaker. He often takes bets while I am in his company. You would not believe the extent of some peoples addictions. Gambling on obscure races from the USA that they have no knowledge about at all. One guy I know who bets with him owes him £70k another nearly £50k.
Now that is scary.

I used to gamble on football quite a bit. I felt that I knew the game well enough and was making money every month. Not much but I was always slightly ahead. One week I just stopped as it wasn't worth the risk and had got boring spending every Sunday with a coupon and a phone at my ear trying to get a bet on the last Spanish game to save the day.

chipbeck

stapeley wrote: »

Internet gambling a road to ruin . No point in shouting and threatening . Theres only one choice to make ! Tell him/her to make the choice ,its either you or the gambling . If they make the wrong choice , kick them out , end of !

Very helpful/thoughtful post. You sound like the nice caring type of person this board relies on.

Mozette

stapeley wrote: »

Internet gambling a road to ruin . No point in shouting and threatening . Theres only one choice to make ! Tell him/her to make the choice ,its either you or the gambling . If they make the wrong choice , kick them out , end of !

Bad grammar! The road to ruin! If you were my OH, my god, you'd have to shape up or ship out! :rolleyes:

broke_student111

Hi,

I am sorry to hear about your husbands problem, and I understand that you are going through a difficult time at the moment. I, too, have had gambling problems and although I am trying to quit, I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be.

Is your husband aware he has a problem? I know this sounds like a silly question, but if your husband is hiding his addiction from himself (like I did from myself in the past) then things can spiral out of control.

It can be understandably very difficult to understand why someone would even consider gambling with such large sums of money. At least, (for me) if I lose a relatively small amount of money, say £50, a hold will take over me and I will have to redeposit to get 'my' £50 back. Its as if I am being controlled, and I lose the ability to think clearly and rationally. I will ignore any common sense thoughts, and there have been times where I have made deposits for £200+ without actually realising what I have done. Sooner or later, that £50 loss will be in the high hundreds or even in the thousands. All at the same time, I panic and place increasingly higher and higher bets and make nonsensical gambling decisions through not thinking clearly, until there is nothing left and the cards will not work.

If your husband wants to give up then he will need your support and understanding. It will be a difficult time for both of you but it is possible, but many people have given up (see www.gamcare.org.uk and http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/). These websites offer lots of good advice, and I have found the gamcare hotline especially helpful (0845 6000 133). They also offer support for people in your situation so it is well woth a look.

Apart from that, theres not much left to say. Some people have made excellent suggestions already, such as self exclusion. Looking after your husbands accounts and cards is known to work well. Maybe if your husband is spending a long time abroad it would be worthwile setting up an additional account, such as the Nationwide one, and paying in an allowance. That way, if things do go wrong, there is still money for mortgage/bills.

I wish you the best of luck! And it CAN be beaten!