gambling addiction - hubby

hannahgibbs

Not strictly a DFW thread, but will be soon if things don't change! My husband seems to be addicted to gambling, he has lost over £800 in 2 weeks :mad: Fortunately (if you can call it that) he is back in Iraq now, so can't access gambling websites for the next 3 months. I need some ideas about how to help him please. I can't do this on my own.

hollydays

Speak to gamblers anonymous?
Have you spoken to him about him doing this,and told him it upsets you? What does he say? What is his job?

RAS

Hi

Welcome

There are a few folk on here who have personal experience of running up debt gambling, either themselves or as partners, so hang around.

immoral_angeluk

There is software you can get that stops access to any gambling sites.. I'm sure someone will be along to say what it's called as I've forgotten..

hannahgibbs

Thanks for the quick responses, I only found out a couple of days ago, and it took until this morning to get the strength to add up the losses. I spoke to him this morning, told him how upset I was and then I had to go, as I was at work. He has sent me a grovelling email, but this isn't the first time. He has previously sold his Rolex and got a (smallish) loan to fund his addiction, although this was before the wedding in August 07.

hollydays

So ,are you saying you have only just found out about his gambling?

xgingerx

Hi ,well online poker is my nemmesis.Im trying to kick the habit as I always lose and after losing have a guilt trip and the feeling of winning is like on massive high but when you lose the low is so bad I cant tell u. Well what have i done to try and help, well I have not totally stopped playing but these few tips might help.

A few months ago I accepted I had a problem, and for the first time I read my bank statement and added up what id lost, And i felt sick, before this i was in denial.

1) I contacted most of my gaming providers and told them I wanted to self exclude as I felt I had a problem - they do this for upto 5 years at a time, this means that they close your account, and you cannot open another one of theirs or an affiliate for the next 5 years.

2) I kept one gaming site open, but I emailed them told them I had a problem and set a self limt which under no circumstances should I beg or not are they to lift, I set this at 50 dollars (about 25 pounds amonth) as soon as i reach that I cannot make any further deposits, no matter what.

Well I cant tell you that now i only have access to one site and virtually banned my self from the rest , the most i can lose in a month is 25 pounds, I know that this is all I have and once its gone its gone.

I have to be honest its not easy but once u get the urge, u reaslise you cant deposit any more money anywhere then u usually have a winge and then move on to something else.

3) I am trying to make a concerted effort to go out after work and do a bit of walking or cycling, this gives me something else to focus and also makes me feel more alive, rather than say in front of my pc all night gambling money away as i used to.

Ideally I would like to kick the habbit 100% as it really is a dark dark place to be if you get addicted as I am, I say I am because I am and probably always will be, but the less access to these sites with conditions of self limits does make things easier and definatly on the right road.

Good Luck,

hannahgibbs

hollydays wrote: »

So ,are you saying you have only just found out about his gambling?

I knew he dabbled a bit, but that seemed to be under control

xgingerx thanks for your experiences, I thought he had set limits, but obviously not with all his providers :rolleyes:

hollydays

You have a lot of talking to do,when he comes home.Until you have done that,and if he is truly honest with himself about the extent of the problem (ie was it just getting carried away a few times,or is it an addiction),it would be hard to know which way to go. Of course if he was able to set himself an amount that was affordable and he did'nt go over,he might still get the kick from it (worked for someone I know,but they are very self-aware) and keep it within manageable limits,but it's a bit of an unknown at the momentfor you,that must be difficult,you need support too.

elantan

ginger thanks for sharing ...that took courage

suexxx

The think is its in the open and you can now get on and sort it !
I think the advise from XGINGERX is sound advice .
Its so easy to get on these gambling websites,i must admit i go on the bingo ones,i used to go on quite offten when i felt down,but u just feel more down when u lose but i love bingo so what i do now is i just put £10 on every now and again but treat it as a treat rather than going on just for the heck of it.

Good luck !