No $#!+ Sherlock

trisontana

Walnuts sold in Lidl "Remove shells before eating"

maninthestreet

A guy in work recently got a new VW Golf, and the handbook says something like 'Don't try to drive with your feet on the dashboard or out of the window'.

sillyvixen

sarahg1969 wrote: »

I have a sling which I bought from the USA which states something like "child must be removed before placing in the washing machine".

my mums microwave instruction manual warns that it must not be used for warming/drying domestic pets:rotfl: :rotfl:

mrcow

I posted once about a box of eggs which said something along the lines of "May Contain Egg"

.....I sincerely hope so!

eyelinerprincess

Poundland walnut cake - "Allergy advice - contains walnuts"

pinkshoes

Stephen_Leak wrote: »

A 50g tin of ASDA anchovy fillets in olive oil also carries the following revelation to everyone who decided to mess around in their home economics classes: "Contains fish".

No $#!+ Sherlock. Any other examples of the bl**ding obvious?

Don't laugh, but when I was younger, through the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle era, one of them used to have anchovies on his pizza. The thought of putting fish on a pizza was odd and wrong, so I didn't work out that anchovy was a fish until I was much older! :rotfl:

My packet of whole-wheat pasta says "warning, contains wheat"!

C_Ronaldo

Noctu wrote: »

One of my favourite Lee Evans quotes:

Lee Evans: I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, f**king YES! That's what I bought the b*ggers for! You'd be p*ssed off if you opened it and a socket set fell out!

I totally remember that qoute from lee,

Stephen_Leak

Lee Evans. Local boy made good. Born in Avonmouth, Bristol. Saw him at Colston Hall and laughed so much it hurt.

It's the "May contain ..." bit that gets me. A packet of salted peanuts definately contains nuts. No doubt about it.

BigBouncyBall

blame the government not the manufacturer - if it wasn't for such strict regulation and fear of lawsuits they wouldn't waste their time. Contains Nuts! I the good old days we'd just let the allergy sufferers take their chances. Survival of the fittest and all that.

phil_c_2

Just thought I'd add a few that I've come across...

On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter's special)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it’s ‘just’ a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(And you thought . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one)

On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My God!)