Not many men on here are there?

kel123_2

Conrad

You have asked for honesty and forthright conversation

A from the hip question; who's screwed you? or who has rejected you when you needed something? there is some remembered pain in there some were and it's tainting your life and objectivity. I keep asking myself why has he got to prove to himself that he is better than others. Even your footer says i'm a winner and better than you and what ever you say it's water off a ducks back.
Probability is that i've done and seen more than you, how do you feel about that

Kel

theunknownstuntman

Another bloke signing in. And Sparkys a bloke too (and a dashed nice one too!)

chevalier

Donedoingdebt wrote: »

I'm of the male variety & on Saturday I shall be drinking beer, eating crisps & watching Wales beat Ireland in the 6 Nations rugby all at the same time. That sounds like pretty good multi - tasking to me!

:rotfl: :rotfl: love it. And agree go Wales

ZTD

Conrad wrote: »

The problem is when you want to be honest in a Simon Cowell manner, people get upset when in fact they should welcome the fresh breeze of honesty.

I hope you have that photo of Simon Cowell laminated and then double bagged. It must get awfully soggy otherwise.

Conrad wrote: »

I've tried to get to a deeper level here, trying to tease out why certain people attract bad outcomes, but people end up feeling ridiculed. Without a really incisive in depth deep analysis people will never get out of debt.

You don't know what a deeper level is. When someone comes with a problem, your analysis consists of "Well you shouldn't have done that."

If you want to know what helpful is, find all of fermi's posts, print them out, then drive them through your skull with a chisel. When you finally understand what being helpful is - do it again, in case you got it wrong.

My posts are 99.9% flirting and joking and I'm STILL more helpful than you are. That just shows how so easy it is to be helpful than you are.

Conrad wrote: »

now where's that banal meaningless celeb mag I was reading

Does it have a picture of Simon Cowell in it?

Conrad wrote: »

Simon Cowell tells people probably for the first time in thier life that they have'nt got it, yet all thier life they would have heard the opposite from well meaning family and freinds.

No. People's family and friends will have told them what their level of talent is. Some people go on knowing they're crap, but do it for a laugh/to get on the telly.

Simon Cowell is rude because it makes "good television" - just in the same way as Blackadder. The difference between him and us, is that he is not there to help. And he does not help. He makes money.

Conrad wrote: »

The parallel with this forum is clear;

There is no parallel with this forum. This forum is people being helpful for free, not people being rude for profit.

Conrad wrote: »

As a bloke I like to be told the truth, albeit in a polite wrapping. Just showering people with hugs and messages of support is'nt going to address thier real long term needs.

And telling people "You shouldn't have done that" doesn't even address their immediate needs.

Conrad wrote: »

What I would like to see on here are much more meaningful mature discussions on the true underlying reasons people get into debt, as this might help them change thier reality tunnels.

EXAMPLE;
I I said I was in bad debt due to losing my job and my car breaking down I would get this kind of response on here;
"Feel for ya babes, xxxx, big hugs, it can happen to anyone"

This might cause my brain receptors to flush with warmth but it doesnt help me. The message I would be getting wouldnt help me avoid the same fate in a years time.

The helpful messga ecould be- "ok bad luck with the accident, but if you had saved 10% of your income since leaving school you would have then easily been able to weather the storm when the INEVITABLE bad times caome along"

That's right - talk about the past. Because you can change the past. Really you can. You just have to be told "You shouldn't have done that" often enough. Then the past changes and the sun comes out. We call it "Conrad-World".

The fact is, we are all fighting individual wars against debt. We are not fighting wars against each other. In war - morale is important - it is vital. So we encourage each other on, to fight that war. Many people are outmatched - but that's not too important - it's not the size of dog in the fight, but the size of fight in the dog.

Let's face it: You're a parody Conrad. Can anyone remember the Harry Ennfield character that just went around saying "You shouldn't have done thaaat..!" Harry Ennfield did it better and much earlier - learn some better material.

chevalier

Conrad
While I sort of don't disagree with your premise in some respects, there are people who have come on here threatening to kill themselves, (because the debt is so enormous in their minds, the pressure so intense, with no let up, at all, and sometimes no one they can talk to about it), in that instance being sympathetic and supportive is necessary to get a person thinking straight before you can probe further about their debt.

You cannot think about debt, if your brain is all over the place going round and round in circles.

Some people have also come on here, been given advice and not taken it. Horse to water and all that.

For some 'speaking' on here is a massive pyschological step, like jumping out of a plane and praying the parachute will open. I feel that you are missing the point. Whilst there may be a fair bit of tea and sympathy, it is used to get people to consider alternative to their current monetary practices. The combination of support and advice, give many the confidence to begin on what can be a very scary (to them) psychological, and fiscal journey to debt free ness.

chev

ps to get back to the original question, no I think it is more balanced than it looks, and I am a lady

vickisocks

kel123 wrote: »

I beg for nooky:rotfl:

I do not wash, hang it out or iron:j

So what have I done wrong

I highlighted the problem for you :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


Oh and another bloke signing in here (even though the username suggests otherwise - Using the other half's pc).

ZTD

The last time this question was asked - there was a poll, and men were outnumbered about 10 or 11-1. Since then, numbers of both have ballooned, but my "feel for the numbers" feel the ratio is probably down to 8 or 9-1.

It's easy to come out with some glib answer of why - but let's face it. Being on here is a very personal decision for everyone.

pania

zed, you're fab.:T

Essex-girl_2

I am female - think my username gave that one away & truthfully I do not post often on DFW - generaly stay on OS and men are definately in the minority there but there are a few about.

I just wanted to say that Conrad its because of people like you that this site is a godsend. It makes a difference immediately when you see that other people are in the same situation as you, some have come through and some are worse off. You can post a SOA and know that somepeople might just come and send you a virtual hug or other words of encouragement, most people will be friendly and helpful. Im sure if we want to be told off, made to feel bad and stupid there is plenty of people in the 'real world' to do that.

By the way, please someone correct me if I am wrong but wasnt your hero Simon Cowell bankrupt once....stupid man, if only he had saved at least 10% of his income since leaving school. I beleive he has been known to tell people how it made him the person he is today.

Anyway, sorry to butt in, think will go and have a mooch around OS & find some people to send hugs to.

jinky67

pania wrote: »

zed, you're fab.:T

yeah I love you too:kisses2:
that is possibily the most sensible thing I have ever heard you say!
you must have reached your pinnacle:D
get back to normal now:rotfl: