Ex-husband refusing to pay maintenance and won't allow me to sell the house either

Pinky9

I'm between a rock and a hard place!

My ex is refusing to contribute anything to our outstanding debts or the mortgage and I have had the house on the market for 9 months. Ex doesn't live here but is equally responsible for these payments as they are in joint names. Over the last 9 months he has reduced his maintenance payments until last month he stopped paying. The mortgage alone is £850 per month and I am a single mother of 6 who is self employed and on family tax credit.

His latest rabbit from the hat is that now I have a purchaser for the house, he refuses to accept their offer and is not willing to sign the contracts, even though he has constantly nagged about my not finding a buyer the entire time. I am faced with ever spiraling financial hardship and seem to hit a brick wall whichever way I turn. Mortgage company will not allow me a payment holiday or reduced payments - they say if I don't pay they will start the process of repossessing the house. My ex says he doesn't care - let them. He did not put any money into the house when we bought it and because of the amount I initially invested and the fact that there will not be enough equity in the house to be able to buy a home for the kids outright he is unlikely to get anything from the sale.

My purchaser is a cash buyer and I will lose him if something isn't done soon.

Is there anything I can do to get this house sold and allow the kids and I to get on with our lives, other than taking it to court which I am told is a slow, costly and lengthy process, but am doing anyway.

Pinky

ioscorpio

My ex was the same, did not want to contribute to bills etc, we had a joint mortgage, but my solicitor got my ex to sign over the house to me as he did not want to pay any maintainance.

Bossyboots

Pinky9 wrote:

I'm between a rock and a hard place!

My ex is refusing to contribute anything to our outstanding debts or the mortgage and I have had the house on the market for 9 months. Ex doesn't live here but is equally responsible for these payments as they are in joint names. Over the last 9 months he has reduced his maintenance payments until last month he stopped paying. The mortgage alone is £850 per month and I am a single mother of 6 who is self employed and on family tax credit.

His latest rabbit from the hat is that now I have a purchaser for the house, he refuses to accept their offer and is not willing to sign the contracts, even though he has constantly nagged about my not finding a buyer the entire time. I am faced with ever spiraling financial hardship and seem to hit a brick wall whichever way I turn. Mortgage company will not allow me a payment holiday or reduced payments - they say if I don't pay they will start the process of repossessing the house. My ex says he doesn't care - let them. He did not put any money into the house when we bought it and because of the amount I initially invested and the fact that there will not be enough equity in the house to be able to buy a home for the kids outright he is unlikely to get anything from the sale.

My purchaser is a cash buyer and I will lose him if something isn't done soon.

Is there anything I can do to get this house sold and allow the kids and I to get on with our lives, other than taking it to court which I am told is a slow, costly and lengthy process, but am doing anyway.

Pinky

As only two of your children are minors, he could argue that you do not need a house big enough for seven/eight people. Adult children are not usually accounted for in the "needs" of a parent with residence to have suitable accommodation. He is therefore entitled to argue for a share of the house. In reality, if you choose to continue to house your grown up children, particularly those working, that is you choice and he should not be penalised because of that.

Of course, ordinarily, you might expect a father not to want to cause his children difficulties but he clearly has no scruples and I think you can expect a fight. I doubt his conscience will trouble him too much.

Although it is difficult without the maintenance, at least you have now dropped into the legal aid bracket. You will know of course that your legal fees will have to be paid from the proceeds of sale or put as a charge against a new property with interest payable on that sum. There are plans afoot to make assisted parties tag their legal fees onto their mortgage on buying a new property so if you can get this resolved quickly, so much the better. There is every chance that this scheme will cover all existing legal aid certificates, not just new ones issued after the scheme starts. You may end up having to prove that you cannot borrow the money from elsewhere before they agree to charge your new property against future sale.

Pinky9

I understand what you are saying Bossyboots, and thanks for your comments, but it would appear that once we sell the house and the initial equity which I put into the house is taken off there will only be £30,000 left and apparently as my children (except the youngest who is my ex's) lived with me before we bought the house and my daughter now has a baby too who lives here, even just taking into account the minors I would still need the accommodation which I have here - just in a cheaper area so that I can afford a small mortgage myself.

My real problem is still being able to sell where I'm living now without his consent so that I am released from having to make these payments, because he appears to be enjoying the power trip of his ability to veto the sale just so that he can prolong my continuing financial hardship. At the moment it is costing him nothing - he will not be blacklisted from getting another mortgage because I am still making the payments, and if I stop making these payments I would be blacklisted too and probably lose the money I put into the house in the first place if it is repossessed! Like I said before - rock and hard place!

Pinky

GDB2222

I am assuming that your Ex is a joint owner of the property? You have no choice but to see a solicitor over this, and quickly! Good luck.

Mr_Proctalgia

As I see it (and yes I have gone through the dovorce mill) you might have some difficulties, courts do not have the power to order a NRP to pay a mortgage, they can only order SM, that is based on your needs and his ability to pay. But - As you are managing to pay they he could well argue that you wouldn't need SM. Legally I think he would only be responsible for his one child (depending on the length of your marriage) Just because you have made a lifestyle choice should not mean he should be penalised. I have read of cases where the courts have ordered a sale but that would take a lot of time/cost a lot of money. So as stated by GBD get yourself of to a Sols and get a free 1/2 hour advice.

Pinky9

I already have a Solicitor. In fact I'm just changing because I am now entitled to Legal Aid and my original solicitor does not deal with Legal Aid cases.

Financially, I am unable to support myself and the children without a substantial contribution to the outstanding Mortgage payments etc from my ex. I am currently being assisted by my family - all of which has to be paid back upon the sale of the house.

Surely, as my ex agreed originally to service his responsibilities, some £1700 per month, and now is refusing to pay leaving me to beg and borrow enough money to be able to pay these should carry some weight within the Court system. He is more than able to pay, he's just enjoying the control.

Pinky

GDB2222

Can I ask some questions?

You talk about your 'ex'. Do you have a decree absolute?

If so, what arrangements were made about the property? It seems *extremely* unusual that the court would leave an ex-husband as a joint owner.

If you are still in the throes of divorce then the financial arrangements will need to be worked out. You may need an interim court order to enable the house to be sold. If necessary, the court can sign the contract and transfer on behalf of your (ex-) husband.

The house sale sounds urgent, and you need to deal with this straight away with your new solicitor. How soon can you make an appointment to discuss this with him/her?

If you want advice here, you need to be specific about where you have got to in the divorce process.

Pinky9

I have my decree nisi but cannot apply for the absolute until the finances are sorted out.

I am seeing my new Solicitor on Monday but my file is so thick she probably wont have had time to read it through! Yes the house sale is hugely urgent, and I am hoping that we can get an interim court order as any negotiation so far has proved impossible.

We are divorcing on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour - which he has admitted - although it would appear he has every intention of continuing to be unreasonable! The divorce has taken 9 months to get this far and it took him 4 months to produce his "Form E" in which he has only included payslips etc up to the end of the financial year. This does not include his bonus, payrise, or any details of his pension which is considerable.

Many thanks for your helpful advice.

Pinky

GDB2222

Good luck. I wish I could be more help.

hopefulfooluk

Likewise Pinky I can't really give much advice apart from a bit of moral support - good luck and I really hope this wonderful ex of yours gets what he deserves.

Chris