Health visitor help please

lil_me

Most HVs and midwives will express they are more concerned about super tidy/clean Mam's than those with a pile of ironing because it means Mam isn't resting unless she has someone to do it for her. That's of course just the impression I get from ones I speak to on a regular basis. There is extreme neglect cases which of course health visitors have a duty of care to report but an untidy house isn't worth worrying about.

*Louise*

lil_me wrote: »

Most HVs and midwives will express they are more concerned about super tidy/clean Mam's than those with a pile of ironing because it means Mam isn't resting unless she has someone to do it for her.

Something we all dream of at some point after having a baby, eh?;)

I know I wished I had magic cleaning fairies after having baby No.3:rotfl:

vetfred

To the OP, I wouldn't worry about it. I was with my wife when ours came round for the visit and she checked my wife wasn't suffering any depression and was coping okay. We were also given leaflets on mother baby groups and baby massage classes where we could get to know other parents as I think a lot of mums can feel lonely in the experiences of motherhood if they have little support around them. We also asked any questions we had, it was all very routine. But it's something you can worry about if you think they're going to scrutinise how "well" you're doing as a mum or how tidy the house is etc... it just wasn't like that at all. Ours didn't go anywhere but the lounge and I thought for sure that she'd check the house out!

tsstss7

Sami_Bee

I was quite lonely when my son was newborn as just moved to the area and I'm a young mum so my friends all driffed off, so I went to weighing clinic every week and now know all the HVs very well!

I took to taking my ds to clinic each week and was told not to! I think they thought I was too obsessed with the weight issue.

3 month check ???? too many babies round here for that I guess 'cause I haven't had notice of one (my ds is nearly 4 mths).

chinesedeli

Hi thanks for all of your replies.I did not know that we had any rights about Health Visitors coming round, I thought that it had to happen even when you do not like the person. I still do not understand why she needs to come round for my 3 month check when my baby is nearly 5 months now and any concerns that I may have I would rather go and see my GP or the Health Visitors at the clinic. Has anyone here refused HV coming round? Thank you

fsdss

some people (but only a few) dont allow the health visitor to visit. in my opinion (although i am not a HV, but i work with them) i would be worried about a refused entry.

you would probably find anyway that this is one of your last home visits, and then she will see you in clinic or by appointment, my last HV visited until dd was 7 months old - my eldest child until 4 months, since then i have vistied in clinic.

she calls at home for a number of reasons, mainly to maintain good health, she wont worry if the house is a little messy - unless there is a risk to health or a safety issue, and then she will give you an opportunity to discuss and resolve it, and like someone pointed out earlier - she could be more concerned with a immaculate house, mother etc.

i would probably summise that she will be wanting to speak about development of your child, feeding, play, routine, immunisation programme. also your maternal health and make sure that you are looking after yourself- she does this on behalf of the gp.

haylibo

i would be worried about a refused entry. It's not a refused entry, it's not the police lol. The HV is there for your support, if you don't need them then feel free to say so. I cancelled my last appt for my son although I didn't mind my HV at all but mum and baby were fine so I didn't see the need. I did stay in contact with the clinic though. I had a habit of bothering the paed there as I had a good relationship with him, he supported my decision not to immunise my wee beans for instance.
she wont worry if the house is a little messy - unless there is a risk to health or a safety issue, and then she will give you an opportunity to discuss and resolve it sorry fsdss, not here to start an argument with you at all but want to point out that the HV isn't there with the authority to demand you discuss and resolve housework issues. It is a support role for mum and baby's health. I am sure they are trained to spot potential problems but in no way should parents feel they have to prove they are not harming their baby. Only if there is real reason for people to believe this is the case would there be an issue. Everyone approaches parenting differently and we don't have to work within specific margins to satisfy the health visitor.
Your HV will have an agenda for the visit, you can discuss it with her over the phone, mine was more than happy to do this with me. If you're happy you have no concerns then you can leave it there. If there is something more you want or need then you can pop into the clinic or see your GP in place of having the HV in.
My HV btw was quite lovely but I felt a little long in the tooth to sit through the same stuff for the fourth time lol.