Lending money to friends & family

chriswuk_2

That is so pathetic - it's your kids for goodness sake !!!!

I'd give my kids the money - interest though ??? I can;t believe that

movieman

I'd give my kids the money - interest though ??? I can;t believe that

Why? I've rarely borrowed money from my parents and I always paid it back with more interest than they'd get from a bank for the same money even without being asked; I don't see why they should lose out in lending money to me.

Trucker_2

Hi folks.
Yes here is another one for you, A so called friend was doing some work for me on the house, after 2 weeks on the job told me he would have to lay off the 2 guy's he had working for him because he had to pay £4000 back tax, he said it would ruined him because he didn't have enough to put down for his next job, feeling sorry for him the wife and I agreed to lend him some money, he said he only needed £1,500 to get him going, and promised to us £100 a month until it was paid, 6 years later we are still chasing him for money, and we have heard every excuse in the book, he owes us £420 to date, but haven't seen a penny for 12 month's, and yes we have threatened him with the small claim's court, this worried him, and what really made him flap was when i threatened to get in touch with Tax/Vat man.

So if your reading this and thinking of lending money to a friend, no matter how long or how well you know them, DON'T DO IT.
Even if your 100% sure you will get it back, DON'T DO IT.

I was a 100% sure?

Trucker.

trace-j

Sorry for not responding to those who have requested copies of my templates. I have a lot of stuff going on and it's very rare that I get online these days. Is there anyway of getting these templates uploaded somewhere/ hosted so anyone can get access to them?

valut

There's a brilliant little book, The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clayson - apparently compiled from texts found on clay from archeological digs. One chapter, The Gold Lender Of Babylon, offers brilliant advice on how to assess who to lend to. The story in this chapter is of a man who comes into a tidy sum of gold and immediately his sister is onto him to lend some to her husband for a business idea. His instinct is to say No, but he doesn't know how and so he pays a visit to The Gold Lender Of Babylon to ask his advice.

Here are a few precis from the chapter:

>>if you desire to help thy friend do so in a way that will not bring thy friend's burdens upon thyself.

>>Could a loan be well made if the borrower cannot repay? Must not the lender be wise and judge carefully whether his gold can perform a useful purpose to the borrower and return to him once more

>>The safest loans are to those who…

>>He questions men as to their knowledge of a certain business for which they want to borrow gold. If they have an in depth training and knowledge of a certain business they are more likely to repay the money than if they want it to try out a new venture. Unless they can offer security. Gold is easy to lend but difficult to get back. The wise lender wishes not the risk of the undertaking but the guarantee of safe repayment.

>>If thou dost safely preserve thy treasure it will produce liberal earnings for thee and be a rich source of pleasure and profit during all thy days. But if thou dost let it escape from thee, it will be a source of contant sorrow and regret as long as thy memory doth last.

>>Gold slippeth away in unexpected ways from those unskilled in guarding it. As well waste thy treasure in extravagance as let others lose it for thee. If you risk losing it you risk losing all that it would earn as well.

There are online versions of the book, but they've been highly doctored. The book itself is full of brilliant insights and advice on handling maney. Well worth the £5 asking price. (£4.75 on ebay, but make sure you get the book, not one of the countless other versions!)

frugalpam

Several yrs ago I approached a good friend for a small loan which I knew I would be able to repay within a few months when I was due to receive quite a bit of money. I was at my limit at the bank and couldn't increase my overdraft, and had left things so late, I hadn't time to apply for a loan.
We'd been friends for many years, and although I was a bit apprehensive asking for help, I was sure she'd be ok.
She was clearly annoyed and offended, and turned me down flat. The whole situation was so tense, we fell out, and have never spoken again nor have any contact. I managed to get out my hole, but from that day on, I swore I would never again ask any friend for financial help again - and haven't. Fortunately I'm in a stronger position now, having taken charge of my finances instead of burying my head under the sand, and stuffing final demand letters in drawers.
Borrowing from and lending to friends and family is a very risky thing to do - I think it can alter the relationship for ever more. I learned the hard way.

Pam

showmethemoneyplease

Hi there,
I have a bit of a dilema - a friend of mine (well ex friend) lent me money over a period of time for different reasons on the understanding that I would pay her back - I set up a standing order of £50 and when i could afford it the standing order went up to £100....I gave her £300 in cash when I did overtime at work and also gave a few cheques at £100 when I could also afford to pay more back certain months. We then decided to get contract phones out together and I was refused in the shop, she said if she could she would get one out in her name for me....Well 1st year passes and I gave her the money for the bill each month...2nd year comes around and she gets a new boyfriend, starts hanging around with different people.....Tells me I've had a massive phone bill for the last few months and she wants the money now. She then asks me for the phone back at shes sold it, so not being in my name i agreed to this and when I give her the phone back she kindly informs me that the phone is blocked, but I still have to pay for the line rental at £40 a month. Well i'm sorry if i'm not allowed to use the phone then I don't see why I should be paying the line rental. A few months pass and the standing order continues to go into her account, and when I believe she has had enough money I cancel it. Come 2 weeks later i'm recieving threats on my phone from her boyfriend telling me I owe her £600 pounds and if I don't pay it by that Saturday he's coming in to sort me out. Well empty threats, but still shook up none the less. Then weeks pass and I hear no more about it till she tells me at work that I still owe her money for the bills and the line rental....I tell her to prove how much she thinks I owe her and I will kindly give her the money to pay this off...Nothing for 3 whole months....Well except for her telling 50+ people that I owe her money, threatning to do things to my car and spreading all sorts of malicious rumours about me at work. Anyway I go on holiday for 2 weeks and just enjoy myself. I walk back into work on the Sunday and find a nice note for me on the wall from her stating---The amount of money you owe me is £1378 if you take off the £600 you have paid me that makes it £778 including all line rental, and she wanted it within 7 days...I was gobsmacked, how dare she leave a note like that on the wall at work for all and sundry to see, especially after being warned about speaking about the issue at work by the managment. So next time I am on shift i go to the managers again, I tell them about the note and how she has been treating me for the last 3 months and they agree it's unacceptable. So we sit down for an hour and write down all that has happened in the last 3 months and they agree to sort out her conduct at work. So Saturday comes and she is pulled into the meeting, told about my complaint and the course of action to be taken that afternoon - she says that I do owe her the money and she is sick and tired of asking for it, and if she doesn't get it then she is gonna tell my dad and get the money of him, or shes gonna take it through the small claims court (regardless of the fact I asked on numerous occasions over the 3 months for proof and an initial fee.) The managers tell her that she is no longer to talk about the subject at work and we all need to sort it out and move on. Then i get called in and told what she has said and told the only way to resolve the situation is to pay her what she's asking...well i'm afraid i'm not gonna give in that easy, well that's what I keep telling myself. So i go out the meeting into the office and burst into tears phone my dad and tell him I need £778 to give to her so I can get her and her boyfriend off my back - he tells me not to give it to her why should you pay her the money for something she has taken off of you, if you give her this money she'll come back for more - and she still can't prove it. Regardless of the fact she owes my dads company £250 for work they did to her car which she has been invoiced for. So i go home that night not happy with the results of my complaint against her to recieve a text message saying.....Because you didn't pay me my money today the intrest you owe me is growing daily. Followed by a text message saying "oh by the way I will be raising an official complaint against u for kissing my son at work on Sunday without my permission - you may think your clever trying to get me in trouble at work I haven;t even started with you yet." Well I can't take anymore at this point, I feel sick don't wanna eat all I wanna do is curl up and wait to be done for pedophilia - the truth of the matter is she has a 3 year old son who I used to babysit I changed his nappies, took him to London Zoo, Brighton, our local town bathed him and put him to bed on numerous occasions but she's now threatning me with this....Then to top it all of I recieve a phone call from her brother asking me when she's gonna get her money - I said to him when she can sit down and talk to me like an adult, and prove the figure she's stating all I got was well she's been discussing this with you for a year now and unless you pay in 14 days we will be taking you to a small claims court...

So for anyone who has read this far please tell me.....
1. What will happen regarding the pedo thing.
2. Does she have a leg to stand on trying to charge me interest.
3. Does she have a leg to stand on with the line rental.
4. She has my i-pod can I make a counter claim on her for it.
5. Why are people like this - looking at other threads it looks like it's the borrower whos the problem it looks like i'm the rare one who has problems from the lender, and how can someone go from your best friend to your enemy because they get a new boyfriend and start hanging around with him and his mates.
5. If the threats from her, her family and her boyfriend continue what action can I take.

Needless to say i'm looking for a new job and I hope that either a court or time can sort this mess out :eek:

bomber2468

God, I really felt that I was in the minority of people who had lent money and not got it back. Can't believe the amount of posts on here and how many dishonest people there are around. Anyway, heres my story.
Boyfriend lived with me for one year. Paid all of his bills including child maintenance etc as he said he couldn't find work. He got in big debt and his car blew up, came to me crying saying couldn't get loan etc etc. I took out a loan for him in my name for £10,000. Have copy of cheque made payable to him, copy of his bank statement showing the money going in and obviously out of mine. Paid me back monthly for nearly a year regularly. The loan was over 6 years. We then split up but he continued paying standing order for another 6 months. He then lost his job but said it would only be for a month that he couldn't pay and not to worry he would definately pay me back. Guess what? No money for the last 8 months. Disappeared off the face of the earth, wont answer phone calls or texts. Did tell me after he lost his job, as he was in big debt again, that an independant advisor had told him that legally he did not have to pay my money back. Been advised by solicitor that because I don't have a written agreement I do not have a leg to stand on. I have now had to re-mortgage my house over 14 years to pay his loan off, as I couldn't afford the repayments, as I have a low paid job and partly disabled.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

newmum1

All I can say is never evr lend or borrow from friends, I have several friends who are always asking for the odd tenner here or there and i used to always give and never ask for it back. But once i had my lightbuld moment never again they would not even dare ask me for it. As you can see from my sig im not exactly flush am i..........

Johntea

Just wanted to say I have found myself in a similar situation. Met a new female friend (not a love situation really but was a potential love situation at the start before we met) back at the start of the year and stupidly lent them £480 cash (One day £280 followed by £200 2 days later). Promised she would start paying it back within a few weeks

2 months later and nothing so I send a text. She seems chatty enough and promises I will get something within the next 2 weeks. 2 weeks later and I get another text saying 2 weeks and I should have something.

Which brings me to tonight (3 weeks later as I wanted to test her a little) when I send another text asking for money. I must point out at all times I have remained calm and not sent anything abusive or angry, I used one instance of the word 'hun' as I use it commonly when chatting to female friends and they do the same to me, dosen't matter if they're single/married/whatever!

Anyway I get a text back at around 11:30pm saying they can 'spare a tenner' on Thursday and their boyfriend (News to me!) did not like me using terminology such as 'hun' and 'babe' (I didn't use 'babe') and if I did it again they would break my fingers!!! Good luck with their relationship is all I can say, glad the friendship faded away now! (Luckily she or he don't actually know where I live or work and they wouldn't recognize me now anyway as my image has changed a lot).

So anyway I have composed a draft text message to send at a courteous time tomorrow saying sorry for using the terminology and also included my bank transfer details so we will see if they make any effort with the £10!!! Assuming they do that every week that is going to be nearly a year before I see my money back at 0% interest and I'm not earning on it since it won't be sat in my bank!

If they don't pay well lesson learnt. I am in a stronger financial position than some around me but if there is one thing I don't like it is getting ripped off or losing MY money on OTHERS. I'm just glad no more than £500 has been lost in this mess!

(To be honest if they don't pay into my account I am not prepared to meet in person for the cash as I treasure my life and safety over money any day of the week). They can't do anything damaging with my bank transfer details as far as I am aware.

No wonder they say money dosen't bring happiness, instead it brings up big stressful situations which never needed to be created in the first place!