Lending money to friends & family

file_wizzard

lynzpower wrote:

Westernpromise, I tohught small claims court only goes up to 5k? Is that not right?

Yes anything over 5k - 15k will need to go to fast track, and over 15k multi track.

westernpromise

assuming the DCA gets 80% back then the other 20%, i.e. £1600, is what you'd go to court for...assuming you had to take it that far.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

If he takes them to the small claims court he may well win his claim against them, but a judge may rule that they repay him small weekly amounts depending on their finances, what 's the point in that!

lynzpower

file_wizzard wrote:

Yes anything over 5k - 15k will need to go to fast track, and over 15k multi track.

So if you are going to fast track my feeling is that theres increased court fees, more than the small claims to factor in as well - is that right file wizzard?

clintus2

well i have written them a letter and delvered by hand, outling that we will be calling a DCA on Monday (Today) and still havent had a response. Her husband works on the ferries and wont be back til wednesday, however they both have my mobile.
I have applied for a Loan which I hope I get otherwise im not sure what to do. This property has a reposession order on it so if we dont pay the next mortgage payment they reposess immediately. (this was all before I got involved with my fiance)
a friend mentioned applying for a bankruptcy order against them? i have no idea if this is a good route to go down.

some people have mentioned the bad feeling in the family, in the letter she wrote she said she didnt care if we lost the house. Considering what we have done for them I think this is completely out of order and when this money is sorted out we want nothing to do with them ever again.

quickstepqueen

Am glad I found this thread. My OH has in the past occassionally offered small amounts of money to a friend (approx £30) to help him out at difficult times but these have always been gifts.

However, recently his friend needed £200. My OH said that he would loan it to him. He realised he was unable to pay the whole amount back straight away but said he could pay it back at £5 per month if necessary but that it was a loan. Needless to say he's seen nothing of the money. His friend has been on holiday and bought a new dvd player.

It's just soooo frustrating because everytime OH speaks to him it's tainting the friendship. The friend knows he's got to pay it back, he's said so himself, and we said he could it pay it back little by little but nothing has come forward. Next time he asks for money (though I think "friend" realises he's now burnt his bridges) it will not be forthcoming.

OH wants to say something to him as it's eating away at him but doesn't want to sour the friendship (esp. as his other 2 best friends have just moved abroad.) It's just everytime friend says he's bought some cigs, been to the pub quiz night, it angers OH. We just can't seem to let it go. I would NEVER dream of owing money to anyone and can't believe the friend would abuse our trust like that. Anyway, lesson learnt!

exel1966

quickstepqueen wrote:

Am glad I found this thread. My OH has in the past occassionally offered small amounts of money to a friend (approx £30) to help him out at difficult times but these have always been gifts.

However, recently his friend needed £200. My OH said that he would loan it to him. He realised he was unable to pay the whole amount back straight away but said he could pay it back at £5 per month if necessary but that it was a loan. Needless to say he's seen nothing of the money. His friend has been on holiday and bought a new dvd player.

It's just soooo frustrating because everytime OH speaks to him it's tainting the friendship. The friend knows he's got to pay it back, he's said so himself, and we said he could it pay it back little by little but nothing has come forward. Next time he asks for money (though I think "friend" realises he's now burnt his bridges) it will not be forthcoming.

OH wants to say something to him as it's eating away at him but doesn't want to sour the friendship (esp. as his other 2 best friends have just moved abroad.) It's just everytime friend says he's bought some cigs, been to the pub quiz night, it angers OH. We just can't seem to let it go. I would NEVER dream of owing money to anyone and can't believe the friend would abuse our trust like that. Anyway, lesson learnt!

Harsh as it may sound, but a TRUE friend would not take advantage of your generosity and sincerity by witholding what's rightfully yours and displaying contempt by splashing out on holidays and DVD players.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Clintus2

Forget paying any other bills, gas/ele/mobile/CCs and throw everypenny you make this month at the mortgage, the game will be over once repossession kicks in!! I can't understand if you are were this close to financial ruin, why you lent the money in the first place

Oh well, the deed is done, best concentrate on keeping the roof over your head, don't expect them to pay up now because of your threat to go to a DCA, its not going to help you in the short term. As said, forget paying anything apart from the Mortgage.

Good luck

quickstepqueen

exel1966 wrote:

Harsh as it may sound, but a TRUE friend would not take advantage of your generosity and sincerity by witholding what's rightfully yours and displaying contempt by splashing out on holidays and DVD players.

Thanks excel1966...you are right and after todays recent phone call we are just seething.

"Friend" rang OH and said that he realised he still owed him £200 but all overtime at work had been banned so he couldn't give him £20 per month as he wanted to. (He's had this money for over 18 months now!) OH said "not a problem, even £10 per month would be fine. £2.50 per week, one less pint a week "

"Friend" then said he was absolutely strapped for cash but in the VERY next breath he asked my OH for IT advice about a second hand laptop that he could buy for his daughter for £75!!! I mean they've already got a computer with broadband. He said to OH it was a great offer (which it was) but that he didn't know how he would be able to afford it!!

Friends.....gosh, it's at times like this that you do know who your friends are. My OH has said that he is sure he will say something to the friend next time they speak, even if it ruins the relationship.

OH knows he's lost the money (not a real problem) but it's just the principle of it all. I'm guessing that OH won't be able to let this drop until something has been said. We've only lost £200 but I really feel for others who have lost much more money or who are saddled with debt because others can't be responsible with their cash. (e.g. guarantors)

Thanks for this thread because a) it helps me vent my feelings and b) makes me realise that we are not the only ones to trust family and friends so easily.

calleyw

I have been burnt and lost about £500 to so called. It was also called being too soft :rolleyes:

I have learnt my lesson never ever lend more than you can afford to lose. That is if I lend at all.

family and friends are the hardest to lend to as you don't want fall out. I once borrowed from my MIL but we paid it back each month which is unlike my BIL's who borrowed and never paid it back.


Yours


Calley