Heavily in Debt!!!!! Advice please

klare_2

My OH is officially a lorry driver and also has a chippie qualification under his belt but most officially he is a retired Fire Fighter and to be honest since he left that he's really not found anything that he loves the same way. I can kind of understand as I am lucky to have a job that I do love all be it very stressful. He hasnt been particularly well for a while and it has given his confidence a real knock. He is hopefully in the process of training to do a different trade which in years time should give him a more flexible work opportunity AND something that he enjoys but that still doesnt help the bills get paid, or not.
ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh What do you do? I love the guy with all my heart and he is a truly special man who has just had a real long rough patch but other than actually pushing him out the door Im dont have a lot of options. Maybe when I have a nervous breakdown and end up in the Hospital the message might get through!!!!! . mind you , then we would have a major issue with child care so I will try to hang on in there a bit longer!!
Think I should start writing a coloumn in a paper or something .. the true life of a debt free wannabe!!! ( Im copywriting that idea!!! ) :j

klare_2

I hear what you are saying Sponge ( or should that be Mr Bob ).. and I can quote with the best of them... my particular fave is....

with no tears for the eyes their can be no rainbow for the soul

and whilst I like to consider myself a very spiritual person at the end of the day when i have sat roaring on my own for the umpteenth time that week, and still nothing has changed, and my hands are practically tied to just sit it all out for the rest of my life ( 21 years is what they quoted us at CCCS to clear our debt in our current situation!! )... all the quotes in the world dont make me feel any better, and quite frankly at this moment in time I would rather be shallow, selfish and RICH, going on holiday, having a nice RELIABLE car, being able to eat the foods I enjoy rather than what I have to... being poor.. or even a " less than poor" is crap.. and I dont believe anyone who says its not that bad!!

Its like people who say money cant buy happiness.. well i disagree .... and if anyone would like to donate any I am more than happy to prove my point!! LOL :T

Sorry... didnt mean to rant and rave.. obviously I have a lot of errrr emotion that I need to get out of the system!!!

:eek:

klare_2

PS...
Just wanted to apologise to the original poster for hi-jacking their thread.. didnt mean to. Sorry.

SpongeBobSP

Klare,

You are right. I am in no position to understand what you are going through. I did not mean to patronise. I am sorry.

I still hope you get through it all.

SP

klare_2

oh I didnt mean that I thought you were patronising.. please dont apologise... no need .arghhhhhhh me and my big gob!! thankyou for your comments, they were appreciated and as for not understanding me.. well no one would ever manage that in or out of debt!! ;-)
thankyou Mr Bob

Ember999

klare wrote:

Unfortunately it is...
me and my OH are in for the tune of 32k. We are currently with the cccs and all in all things are begining to get a bit better. However our repayments are at the minimum we could ' get away with' as the cccs put it before other options than a DMP would have to be considered, so we are hanging on in there. OH's part of the bargain is that he has to bring in £400 a month .. which baring in mind the sort of work he does shouldnt be that hard. ( I work full time, shifts, he looks after the children both of them under 3) .. anyway, he hasnt managed it once since we went to the CCCS. I am now doing some work for a 'text' company on top of my 40 hours a week regular job. I have never felt so ill in all my life and he just doesnt seem to get that saying to me that ' he understands' how worried I am and so is he... is not enough.. he needs to get out of the house and earn some bloody money. i cant say that he is lazy because he isnt and I love him to death even though all we do is argue these days because we are both so stressed. My house is always spotless, children always happy , garden always done etc ( we dont live in a posh house or anything).. but i wold rather have it scruffy and know that our basic bills are going to be paid. My Mum knows whats going on and is worried sick, I am struggling to keep a lid on all my anger and frustration and my regular job is suffering. I havent been able to concentrate on anything else for the past year so have got 2 distance study courses going to waste ( thankfully both will still be viable once we get sorted if that ever happens).. and quite frankly I have had enough!! i am fed up of being in this situation, I am absolutely knackered beyond how knackered I ever thought it possible for a human being to be in, I am sick to death of the drudgery , I havent had any form of holiday in years and am unlikely to have for many many more, i have to wear crappy clothes and dont have any money to do anything at all. Despite all that I am blessed with beautiful children and yes I do have a roof over my head when there are plenty that dont and we have food in our tummys so I guess I really shouldnt moan so much but sometimes I could just sit in a corner and stay there for ever.
Am going to nip onto ebay to see if I can find a magic wand!!!
:mad:

Klare,

My name is Ember, hello :wave:

I've not been posting very much on the forums these past 6 days as I lost my beloved cat which devastated me and my husband so much. i have had lots of support on here from so many nice people, who gave me the strength to keep getting up in a morning and enabled me to learn to control my grief, if not live with it. I have been coming on here lately just to read and browse to pass the time and I read your post with a heavy heart

I am a great believer in 'treat people as you wish to be treated' etc. and 'what you send out comes back to you thricefold' etc...hence my signature. So many here have helped me to cope over the past few day, therefore I want to do a little something for you. I can't magic away your debts but I can send you some of my lovely home-made aromatherapy face-cream which is great for brightening your skin, scaring off those horrid wrinkles that time seems to make appear and generally make you feel a whole lot better. 2 other members of MSE have received my face-cream/eye oil and they are throughly enjoying using it. Sometimes, when the chips are down in life, a little 'girlie' treat can bring a smile to the saddest face. (sorry I can't send one to anyone else, I can't afford to send out to everyone, sorry!)
So, if you like caring for your skin, enjoy the aroma of the finest aromatherapy oils and want to use a cream that rivals the most expensive shop bought stuff:

send me your name and address by PM (for security reasons) I will send you a little tub as a gift to make your life a little brighter. If I can make you smile, today won't have been such a bad day after all (still missing my baby soooo much! )

Ember xx

SpongeBobSP

Klare,
I was just trying to raise your spirits. I have been through similar tough times in my life and have managed to come through it. And I feel very relieved to not have to worry about debts. I hope in time you will be able to feel the same way.

SP

bluezone

Klare,
I am glad someone else is going through the rough poo that I seem to be going through. I thought I was the only one who had to put a smile on 24/7 and say that life, marriage and money was perfect - cos it blooming well isn't!!! But hey these forums seem to keep me sane for a bit whilst at work.
Keep on posting with oyur progress as I am and I'm sure we'll get there slowly. When I get there I want to have a glass of champagne and a day of pampering - I'm only 26 now so it will be too early to book anywhere for in a few years time ;-)

C ya later

bluezone

Hello All,

Dear Ember - I am sorry to hear about your cat :-(

I just thought I would let you know that a bloke is coming round tonight to discuss mortgages to see if we can save any money ;-). I bought my veg today from the local market instead of paying more at a supermarket.

I feel that even though hubby and I are up to our necks in debt - with all the figures now in hand and on paper, I can feel positive that we will get through this!!!!

Merlin139

A Bit Of support

Bluezone,

I know what you are going through, I was very heavily in debt about 18 years ago and owed around twice my annual income at the time what made it worse was that I was in the Army and was responsible for Pay and Finances of other soldiers. This made it impossible for me to obtain advice. My wife and I sat down one day and decided that we had to sort it out. For nearly 5 years we lived on a strict budget. No holidays and no luxeries. We now own our house with a small mortgage that will be paid off in about 7 years.

It is hard but you will do it if you want too.

As this is my first post may I thank Martin for all the advice he has given on his E-mails, web site and the advice I obtained from his book last year.