Father Unknown!

Scarlett1

mitchaa wrote: »

BTW.. A quick search on google of

''average age of 1st time mum''

Reveals lots of articles and statistics ranging from 27-29yrs of age.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/dads/olderdads.shtml

29yrs old in this article.

Higher than what i thought, but much lower than the 36 claimed by'mum2one'

not much lower than mum2one but much higher than your teenage pregnancy theory I recon.

Scarlett1

enemes wrote: »

As it happens ... BBC News24 has just reported that the National Office for Statistics has today announced that "there has been a significant increase" in women aged forty or above getting preganant, and a DECREASE - for the first time - of teenage pregnancies.

good reporting enemes, although the ignorant will still connect single mothers to teenagers and council flats

maryotuam

At the risk of being controversial, I believe everyone has a basic right to have a child. It shouldn't only be a right of the rich. Most children will grow up to become taxpayers and will pay for the welfare of the childless elderly.

Scarlett1

mitchaa wrote: »

Didn't you read my post, never once claimed average age was in teenage years.

I said mid 20's

So 27-29 is not too far off and much closer than 36

does it really matter what age someone is when they have a baby

if you want a debate the arms is the section you need

krisskross

maryotuam wrote: »

At the risk of being controversial, I believe everyone has a basic right to have a child. It shouldn't only be a right of the rich. Most children will grow up to become taxpayers and will pay for the welfare of the childless elderly.

Absolutely completely agree. IF you can afford to support them have as many children as you want.

I also think it is my basic right to go on a Caribbean cruise every year......as long as I can pay for it.

seven-day-weekend

mitchaa wrote: »

This is a controversial topic but in my opinion yes.

Ive seen a very close friends life shattered because her parents had her in their 40's.

She was bullied at school for having a gran and grandad for a mum and dad. She didn't enjoy an adventurous childhood when she was younger because her parents were in their 50's by the time she was at the adventurous childhood age.

She is 1 year older than myself at 26, she lost her father last year aged 70, and her mother is terminally ill now with not long left at age 67.

She is pregnant at the moment and due to get married soon. Neither of her parents will be there for either celebration.

She grew up as the only child, her grandparents died when she was too young to really remember them, and her child will grow up with no grandparents either.

By leaving it too late in their own lives, it affected their life, ie not having grandchildren, not being around for daughters marriage etc, it has affected their daughters life along with the life of her future children.

Yes parents can die at any age, but not through choice.

Controversial subject yes. I obviously have strong feelings about it due to above.

My mum was 42 and my dad 46 when they adopted me as a tiny baby (wouldn't be allowed now). My sisters, their natural children, were 16 and 19.

I had a wonderful childhood. Doted on by my parents and my sisters. I had nephews and neices nearly the same age as me (my older sister had three children by the time she was 25). My dad took me everywhere on his motorbike and sidecar and later, on our bikes.

I was 18 when my dad retired and it was wonderful having parents who had so much time for me instead of them always being at work (my mum never went out to work anyway after they had me).

My parents lived to see their grandchildren (my son being the youngest by a long way) and great-grandchildren - in fact my mum only died in 2001, (I was 51)she was nearly 94 and although in a care home had a smile on her face and a kind word for everyone right up till the end. She died peacefully in her sleep.

My dad got killed when someone kncked him off his bike when he was 89. I'm glad to say he didn't suffer but it was traumatic for my mum and although she was always happy and contented, the last few years of her life she would say she was 'ready to go to be with Billy'.

So no, having a child in your 40s isn't always too old.

Sorry to go OT, just wanted to put the 'other side'.

.

lil_me

WhatvIdone wrote: »

Do the CSA cut your IS payments if they can't get CM from a childs father - in this case (not me I hasten to add asking on behalf of sister who has a 2 months old daughter). The childs father is unknown

Going back to the oriinal question, a firend was left in this situation after becoming a victim of someone they later found out was a bit of a fraudster. Nothing about himself that he told her was true. She trusted this man who worked away (well that is what he told her) who lived with her when he came 'back from working away' then when he 'dissappeared' when she told him she was expecting his child, she found out he didn't exist (false name, jobs etc etc) finally he was traced with some help from the CSA and with help from other people he'd done the same thing to. She was interviewed by the CSA on 2 occasions.

Another case I am aware of the father was 'a choice of 3' 31 year old lady who'd had a 'good time on holiday' eventually DNA testing was done to establish the father of the child.

NAT.B_2

I have a friend who was raped, and didnt want to report it but ended up keeping her baby, I couldnt imagin what that must feel like! She has got on with her life(ive never asked about it), many women do play the system & try to "trap" men. I know I could never do that, Im now married hubby has got two kids we havent got much of an income & there no way I would have a child as we cant afford it. Im not working at the moment but at college but I want to be able to provide for myself if we was to have a child(currently on WTC) I dont want to be living off hand outs.

Such a difficult disscusion, so many have a different views. A freind of a freind has 5 kids, 5 fathers, never worked she in mid 30s. That up to her and not for me judge?

mum2one

mitchaa wrote: »

BTW.. A quick search on google of

''average age of 1st time mum''

Reveals lots of articles and statistics ranging from 27-29yrs of age.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/dads/olderdads.shtml

29yrs old in this article.

Higher than what i thought, but much lower than the 36 claimed by'mum2one'

As for claiming the figure, I was commenting on a stastitic that I had been given from my tutor, at the end of the day where ever you look your find different figures

taytanya

IS will not deduct money from her because she does not know who the father is , or there is a very good reason (ie violence) as to why she does not want to name him , they can not force you to claim CSA if you could be putting your child at risk for doing so.