Father Unknown!

WhatvIdone

Thanks everyone that has responded, although there was a bit of a dark cloud around my head for a while. But I am sure if anything like that had happened she would at least tell me, we are very close. I am quite positive that she wouldn't want someone to get away with that sort of thing anyway.

prestonlass

Hopefully he's just some loser bloke, a huge mistake, who she knows will be gone in a matter of time anyway. Quite sensible, I think to start off on her own rather than perhaps go thru some months/years of unhappiness. Hope everything turns out well for her.

mum2one

lic wrote: »

Is STRAPPED judging or just stating a fact??
I have a job where I meet many single mothers who live on their own. It's surpising how many of them do not know who the father is. Even more surprising is when there a 2 0r 3 kids to the same father, and mum still does not know who he is!!!
It's all too easy for single mums to get benefit and live on it forever, "kids for cash" I call it. We have the largest percentge of young single mums in EU. If the benefit system changed then the stats would come down also!

That said if the OP's sis has been raped she should report it. It might be painful, but it might spare other women.

The average age of a new mum is 36, so not necessarily that we have the highest single mums in the uk

enemes

WhatvIdone wrote: »

Do the CSA cut your IS payments if they can't get CM from a childs father - in this case (not me I hasten to add asking on behalf of sister who has a 2 months old daughter). The childs father is unknown

No ... is the answer. Despite everyones chip in about your sister's sex life, whatever the reasons and whatever the circumstances. All I have to say though is, that the childs father is not 'unknown' ... I'm 40 and I can remember every woman that I have slept with!

enemes

mum2one wrote: »

The average age of a new mum is 36, so not necessarily that we have the highest single mums in the uk

WOW mum2one ... where did you get that stat from? That is amazing if that is the case.

mum2one

This poster asked for help and advice, not to have her sisters pregnancy and the baby being the over the fence gossip, or the next person to be on the benefits system.

As the old saying goes, "let them without sin cast the first stone", there would be a lot of stones left on the floor.

Yes, Im a single mum, Im not a teenager, but a woman in my mid 30s, I walked out on an absuive relationship, one where I had been pinned up against the wall, been threaten with violence, have my hair pinned down on a pillow just because he felt like it, then his bright idea, sexually assault me while pregnant, in the hopes that I lost the baby.

Before I had my daughter I held down a managerial position, but due to 2 car accidents and then haveing my daughter, resulted in permanment disability, my work structure has changed, I'll never be able to walk miles, I cant stand long for being on crutches, yes I am on beneifts, but as a top up to my employment, as I dont earn enough to come off income support fully, but Im also studying an OU degree.

I had the sence to walk out from that violent relationship, i was 7 mths pregnant as i was not married, and my ex partner did not come with me to register the birth, the father bit is left blank.

I had explained this to the IS when I went on to benefits, and I was given the option of them not chaseing him for CSA, due to the possible backlash, but as he had packed in work he was not liable to pay a penny.

Even though I had since found out he has been working and after reporting it numerous times I have hit a brick wall.

mum2one

enemes wrote: »

WOW mum2one ... where did you get that stat from? That is amazing if that is the case.

I was really shocked, but got the fact last night from my tutor on a handout from the OU. Hes a Dr in his field, so they wouldnt be issueing facts nilly willy, as they'd take some explaining in essays.

Weird thing is I was 31 when I had dd, and at all the antenatal apps one of the 1st questions the new midwifes etc, bet your other children are looking 4ward to the arrivial of this one - no Im a 1st time mum.

enemes

mum2one wrote: »

This poster asked for help and advice, not to have her sisters pregnancy and the baby being the over the fence gossip,


I had the sence to walk out from that violent relationship, i was 7 mths pregnant as i was not married, and my ex partner did not come with me to register

Sorry if I was out of turn. I hope that I didn't offend anybody in this post. It wasn't my intention.

Good on you Mum2one, I admire your ambitions. I was 33 when I had my first, and 36 for my second! OK, I was 37 when I was on my own ... so I have loadsa repect for young'ins too who for whatever reason are on their own ... and us old gits too!

PS .. I too was a victim of a violent relationship

mum2one

enemes wrote: »

Sorry if I was out of turn. I hope that I didn't offend anybody in this post. It wasn't my intention.

Good on you Mum2one, I admire your ambitions. I was 33 when I had my first, and 36 for my second! OK, I was 37 when I was on my own ... so I have loadsa repect for young'ins too who for whatever reason are on their own ... and us old gits too!

PS .. I too was a victim of a violent relationship

Thank you, dont be daft you didnt offend me, think us old uns g=have toi stick together!

Dont know about you but becuase I still go under "Miss" - when youve said Miss and then if its a bank etc date of birth, Im sure theircogs are going um ..dodgy.is she a batter for the otherside.......

In the nicest of ways congratulations for getting out of a voilent relationship, I was only with my partner for almost 9 mths,( the little blue line came along after 6 wks totally unexpected and obviuosly unplanned), and I what I put up within that short period, you can understand how a lot of people stay in that type of relationship - sometimes the social stigma.

The OU one of my bright ideas, whether Im brainy enough to get through | dont know, but Im going to have a damm gd go, I want my daughter to be proud of me, and to show theworls Im an achiever. x
Thats me off my soapbox.....x

enemes

mitchaa wrote: »

We have 1 of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world.

At 35+, women start to have problems conceiving. Considering 40+ mums are very rare and 18yr old mums are very common.

As it happens ... BBC News24 has just reported that the National Office for Statistics has today announced that "there has been a significant increase" in women aged forty or above getting preganant, and a DECREASE - for the first time - of teenage pregnancies.