Depression Support Thread

Diamond78

dawnylou wrote: »

Morning all.
Hope everyone is well.
I feel so exhausted I just don't understand it. I was reading a book at his Mams yesterday and I kept falling asleep so we came home. I went to bed by 10pm, woke up about 8am. Kept falling asleep again so only just got up now. But still I am so tired I keep feeling myself nodding off!
I am back at work on Monday - what if I fall asleep at work? I feel like I am lining myself up for the sack!!!

And I am still !!!!ed off at myself for the weekend. My friend came round with all the gossip - I told her boyfriend F You (Even though I realy like him and think he is really good for her) don't know why I would do that??? Maybe he tried to tell me I had had enough to drink? I coldn't walk, which is why I am so bruised everywhere as I just kept collapsing. I tried to walk home without my shoes on and it had rained so my tights got soaked (and even then I had to be carried) then when I got in my feet were soaked so I took my tights off which led to a flash!!
I then fell asleep. With my contacts in too!

I am disgusting. I am mortified at myself. I had done really well to not get into a state like this at all since I started my meds and had even managed to go without alcohol at all for quite some time. I don't know why I do this??

My Fiance was upset that I was upset the day after and he said he would have stopped me from drinking if he had realised the state I was getting into but as he had had quite a few he didn't realise.

The sad thing is is that I texted my friend to apologise the day after and she said not to worry, that her and her boyfriend had had a good night and that I was funny. And says he had said it was good that I could let my hair down so much after a drink.

I don't understand why they think it is funny? I am a monster when I am drunk. It's not funny at all. I hate myself for it. And yet once I get to the point where I know I have had enough I don't seem able to stop????

Anyway as usual I have just dropped right in here and grumbled and grumbled and probably lowered everyone elses mood for the day so I will now get my coat.



Horace - I hope your eyes feel better soon
Steph - I am glad that you and your fella have made up, but just don't let him walk over you too much huni
Juno - I hope Amy is well today
Tulip - I hope your Dad is recovering well He needs some homemade chicken soup!!
Ethel - I hope your op went ok

Sorry to not personally mention everyone, but I can feel myself nodding off again so big hugs to everyone else x

Hey Hun,
Dont be so hard on yourself. Your not those words you say. Your a lovely person, caring and thoughful and always here to cheer up someone who is down. Its just that awful low phase we are going through when we fill so crap. I know its hard at times as I know myself. Your friend shouldnt of said your funny but dont let those comments get to you. Everyone acts differently when drunk. I get very low and more depressed when I have drink, didnt think it could get any worse as it is. I dont go out anyway nor have i got any friends that come and see me so I dont get to drink although I could do with getting trashed, I feel I need it. Im feeeling pretty !!!! lately, I will never be happy nor will this awful depression go but I know not everyday will i feel so low,I know oneday i will learn to love myself again and respect myself but its going to take time. Your a lovely person so give yourself a pat on the pack and be proud of yourself of what you have achieved. Remember all the advice you have given to ppl on here, it does wonders.Sending you lots of hugs xxxx

Diamond78

cat9586 wrote: »

Hi all, sorry I havent been around much still not coping with things very well. A lot of things have happened since talking to you all last. I found out one cousin has a problem with drugs and another is pregnant. Also my grandad has the same illness that my great nan passed away from last year
Hope you are all ok and huge congrats to Meyore
Catherine

Im sorry to hear about your grandad and cousin. Just wanted to let you know am here if you ever need a chat.Sending you hugs. All you can do about your cousin is be tehre for them really.What kind of drugs is he/she on? It can be very difficult to talk to someone who is on drugs as most make you paranoid ect and once hooked can be hard to come off it. MAybe it is and hopefully it is just a phase and it will soon stop. You can tell your cousin your worried and they will know you care.But I have been there a long time ago when I was rock bottom and I never listened to anyone, got no help but luckily I was strong enough at the time to say this isnt me,I done it alone and it was hard.
As long as you show support and he/she knows that there is nothing else you can do.Hugs to you.xxx

Diamond78

jinky67 wrote: »

i am going to Docs today to admit my depression:o
what will happen?
what will he ask etc?
feel very nervous:rolleyes:

Well done for going to the docs to admit your deprresion. Its so hard fro one to go to the doctor and admit what is happening in your life. Im sorry to hear your suffering with depression but the 1st step to getting better is admiting it. It takes a lot of courage to go docs so please be proud of yourself.

Hopefully you have a nice and understanding gp. If you find the gp not understanding or helpful dont give up and go again and see another gp. I have had this problem before which made me worse but I found the courage to go again and again till a gp took notice of my situation.

They will just want to know if anything in particualr has caused you to feel depressed, ie work, family, money ect. They will want to know about your sleeping, eating and social life ect. Usually you will be asked to go back. Dont be afraid, it wil be fine and you will get the help that is out there.Sending you lots of hugs.Lets us know how you got one.

Ethel, hope everything is gone well hun and your all well and ok.Hugs to u too and everyone else thats so wonderful on this thread.XxX

dawnylou

Diamond78 wrote: »

Hey Hun,
Dont be so hard on yourself. Your not those words you say. Your a lovely person, caring and thoughful and always here to cheer up someone who is down. Its just that awful low phase we are going through when we fill so crap. I know its hard at times as I know myself. Your friend shouldnt of said your funny but dont let those comments get to you. Everyone acts differently when drunk. I get very low and more depressed when I have drink, didnt think it could get any worse as it is. I dont go out anyway nor have i got any friends that come and see me so I dont get to drink although I could do with getting trashed, I feel I need it. Im feeeling pretty !!!! lately, I will never be happy nor will this awful depression go but I know not everyday will i feel so low,I know oneday i will learn to love myself again and respect myself but its going to take time. Your a lovely person so give yourself a pat on the pack and be proud of yourself of what you have achieved. Remember all the advice you have given to ppl on here, it does wonders.Sending you lots of hugs xxxx

Thank you for your kind comments, but I really don't deserve it.
I feel so much worse now because I got tickets to go see Nick Cave for my Fiance's birthday. They had sold out so I had to pay a fortune for them on Ebay. I accidentally bought 2 standing and 2 seating tickets so they won't be together, one person has dropped out which leaves one person alone!!! I can't believe I was so stupid! Now I have to buy another pair to get a standing place with us and then sell the other 3 on! :mad::mad::mad::mad:
I'm so pathetic I can't do anything right!!

Diamond78

dawnylou wrote: »

Thank you for your kind comments, but I really don't deserve it.
I feel so much worse now because I got tickets to go see Nick Cave for my Fiance's birthday. They had sold out so I had to pay a fortune for them on Ebay. I accidentally bought 2 standing and 2 seating tickets so they won't be together, one person has dropped out which leaves one person alone!!! I can't believe I was so stupid! Now I have to buy another pair to get a standing place with us and then sell the other 3 on! :mad::mad::mad::mad:
I'm so pathetic I can't do anything right!!

Its NOT your fault the other person dropped out hun.Yes you DO deserve kind comments coz you are a kind, caring and thoughtful person.Thats the thing with tickets, when its sold out, its reall ydifficult to get seats together. See if you can ring the ticket hotline or where ever it is based to see if you theres any seats to the 2 you allready have.And if not, dont let it upset you as its good enough that you have tickets.I would be thrilled if my finace was taking me somewhere but I dont even have a man so I wont be going no where for a long time.Its the thought that counnts. Or see if you can find someone to join the other person.You deserve happiness xx

sunshine6650

Hello All,

Im really struglling & looking on the net for help, not for me my mum, well for me to help my mum if it makes sense!
Reading Dawnylou's post of making a mistake & things out of her own hands happening & feeling the way she does is exactly how my mum is. She has been to the doctors, has tablets & did a stint of councilling, didnt really keep it up as she is a private person & felt silly & useless talking to them & asking for help.
At the minute she is really isolating me, she has recently moved house, (following dad leaving & couldnt afford to cover the morg.) she feels faliure for that, allsorts really.
She has real 'feel ugly' days, & then real pretty days. She has been lying to me (in a good way not nasty) saying shes ok but then has breakdowns every now & then on how bad a mum & person she is & hasnt made anything of herself..but she has!! shes my mum!!

Im finding it hard to cope, Its role reversal, Im the adult & she is the child..I know i shouldnt but its such hard work i almost begrudge her sometimes. Im an only child, 27 & live with my boyfriend, hes great with her tho.
Ive tried spending time with her, she pulls out most of the time, says weather too bad or i should rest.they are excuses tho on her behalf. I treat her to lovely things & help out with shopping as i know money is tight. Her worse thing is she puts on a front. Im going to look into councilling for myself tomorrow through work. To see if they can help me as it is really getting me down.

I went to the doctors & he diagnossed me with mild depression, i was so tearful,not sleeping,worrying,moodswings, eating like a horse!!

I want to help her so much, dont get me wrong she has came on so much in the last 1 1/2 yeras, This time a year ago i never knew if id still have her in the morning when i woke up. She is on the real downer stage now though..

Can anyone help me on the simple things i can do for her day-day or words of help?

I am so sympathetic with her but sometimes the best wy is to be slightly harsh & she has bit of a reality check & is good again for a few days..

Feel free to ask any questions if i havent covered things, didnt want to go into much incase i was intruding.

Thanks for all of your help.

x x

juno

I'm having a bad day today

LadyMorticia

My exes brother has been on my back and now I can't stop crying. You know those tears that you can't hold back and you find it hard to breathe through? I just feel so helpless.

*hugs* for Juno and Sunshine. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice at the moment. I hope virtual hugs are ok for now.

xx

Stephb1986_2

Hi everyone how are you today?? im not too bad sorted out my car insurance someone offered me a measley £800 for my old car when its worth atleast £1500 so i told them to jog on im not that desperate. Ive got tea for everyone out of the freezer we're having sausage chips and egg

Hope your all ok

love hugs and kisses

Steph xxx

shazrobo

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Hi everyone how are you today?? im not too bad sorted out my car insurance someone offered me a measley £800 for my old car when its worth atleast £1500 so i told them to jog on im not that desperate. Ive got tea for everyone out of the freezer we're having sausage chips and egg

Hope your all ok

love hugs and kisses

Steph xxx

can i have my egg yolk runny please steph? :rotfl: