How did you decide to go for a 3rd?

lindseykim13

Just curious as to how others decided to have a 3rd child? We have 2 boys aged 5 and 3 love them to pieces and have been umming and arring for the last year about having a 3rd always ending up with just getting on with life and ignoring the niggling thoughts. Me and DH are kind of 50-50 on the subject, with the obvious down sides going back to sleepless nights etc. I also have the added fact that i home educate our children so would have another to fit into that equation.
With having to get a new car as a must lol and the practicalities of just days out (we go out alot for day trips) how do others cope? Is it that much different having to cope with 3 than 2? We are putting more thought into this one perhaps too much as having the first was easy we both wanted kids then second was also as we wanted a sibling for the eldest but there isn't an obvious reason for having 3 can someone give me one! lol as i would like a 3rd but think i'm worrying too much!

looby-loo_2

How will you feel in 10, 20, 30 years time if you don't? If it's in your heart you must go for it or live with the possible regret.

*Louise*

Well, my 3rd is now 7 months old, and it was the best decision we made.

I had 2 boys and to be honest, I really wanted a daughter (we sadly lost a girl in between having the boys)

We discussed it one night and I decided to give it a year, if it happened, it happened (past conception problems).I was pregnant in 2 weeks Anyway, my darling little girl was born last July, so it was meant to be.

Obviously the financial situation is a huge factor in whether a 3rd child is affordable, whether you want to go back to nappies/night feeds (the bigger the gap, the harder it is to go back to it lol) do you have space in your house? (we had to move home) how will you feel when your boys are older? Do you think you will feel as though there's something missing?

Family trips are hardly different from 2 to 3 tbh, as long as you're pretty organised - we had our 3 at a safari park when the youngest was just a few weeks. Once they're past the baby stage, it's even easier. Another handy thing about 3 kids...you can still fit them all in the car

lindseykim13

you both made me smile so thanks, thinking about years later when i'm older i will always think what if...? I really don't want a gap of more than 5years between them so would like to get on with it shortly lol as i know it will be harder as they get older. How do you get 3 car seats in the back of the car? I kind of have a love hate relationship with my car and would love to keep it (vauxhall astra) can you get 3 in the back?

ka7e

The decision was out of my hands. We made DS2 and he came bundled with DD1, (sort of a BOGOF deal) ie twins.
That really put us off going in for a 4th - I was flagged as extremely high risk for twins again!

Savvy_Sue

We had decided to go for a 3rd, just not quite yet, and suddenly there was no longer a decision to make ... We have gaps of 2.5 years and 2.25 years, 3 boys, all now taller than me. And while I love the youngest to bits, both we and the school are VERY glad he's the last! :rotfl:

The Honest John website may have a list of cars you can get three child seats into: it certainly used to have a list of those with full seat belts in the back!

One thing I'd say about 3 is that there's always one who seems to be the odd one out. Which one it is changes from year to year. And I'm the middle of 5 which is definitely not a place I'd want to inflict on a child. However, there was no way I was going for a 4th, because then you really are in 'need a bigger car' territory, not to mention a bigger house!

As for costs, when they're little I don't think it's a lot more expensive to have 3 rather than 2, but as they get older it is. Family discounts are often for families of 4; school trips; uniform can rarely be handed down 3 times, shoes, parties, friends' parties ...

beefcarrot

We've always known that 4 was the magic number of children. Therefore, there wasn't much of a decision. I've found that it was more of a shock going from one child to two than two to three!

As for cars, we had a look around at what we wanted and could afford and went from there - we've ended up with a big Hyundai if that's any help.

Mrs7ones

I got pregnant with number 3 by accident. It took me and DH a very very long time to come to terms with the thought of having 3 children, and then I had a miscarriage.
The loss was enormous, so much so that we couldn't imagine not having 3, so we made another one.......
It was the best thing ever. He's nearly 7 now, and I too wouldn't be without him. I have to say also, that I enjoyed his early years more than my other two - I think that's cos by the time number 3 comes along, you really know what you are doing with babies.... :D

melie3

hi
my DD1 is 9 now, and it took 4 1/2 yrs to fall for DD2. we hadnt planned on no3, although we thought we would like another one. DD3 is now 10 months, so ive 3 girls 9, almost 3, and 10 months. i am still broody for a 4th though:o . we are crammed into a 2 bed house as it is, and may have to get a bigger car to take 4 children(although we only all go out as a family on saturdays). and ive already had 3 c-sections. the hospital staff were last last time slightly pressuring me into sterilisation, but i thought i had gone through enough so said hub would have a vasectomy, he hasnt got the guts!!
i dont feel as if ive had a third though as it blurred by what with having DD2 to run after. im lucky and grateful with what i have, just trying to accept baby bearing days are over is difficult for me.

Becles

I've got 2 boys who are 11 and 9 and a 9 month old baby. I thought it would be odd going back to the nappies, getting up in the night etc., but I'm loving every minute of it! All your old skills come flooding back, and I've got more patience with her than with the older two, as I know what I'm doing now!

The only trouble is, the boys are very close and play together etc. The baby is going to be like an only child once she reaches the age the boys are now, as the boys will have moved on into adulthood. I'm now very broody for a 4th so she doesn't get lonely

Mrs_Thrify

Hiya, from another mum of 3. Mine are 2 girls 21,23 and a boy 18. At the time I reasoned the car will hold 3 on the back seat and the average family house is 2 doubles and a single. So the girls always shared and the boy had the single. It is more expence as they all have to be treated the same. We are now at the car stage. We helped first daughter with buying a car, so have just lost my car to second daughter, will have to help out again with son - who is quite happy at the moment waving his provisual licence around at pubs to aford the odd pint. No lessons yet...