I have not paid my credit cards since November

In_Search_Of_Me

Did you ring CCCS rainbowbright? I know its hard but the sooner you tackle this the better and hopefully you could do a formal DMP....hugs for you & keep posting!

chevalier

Here is a list of sites that might help you up your income. All of them have paid out for me. Every little helps and all that.

By the way your husbands wage what does he do? I personally DON'T think that is a great wage, could he get more doing the same job for a different company?

Also knock the work lunches on the head and save £30 a week. That is nearly all of your weekly food budget again, just going on work lunches. If he takes pack ups then this would save you a lot. Likewise refill the water bottle with tap water and save there too.

Can you stop paying into the childrens funds? Again this is £100 a month you can't afford right now.

Ref your older son. Can you get the forms for JSA and sit with him to get him to fill them in? I know that he has had a bad thing happen to him, but perhaps he needs a bit of a push to get him started? For some of the sites below (eg the survey sites), he can have an account too, so could contribute a bit or at least pay for some of his own stuff.

Did he drop out of school? Could he go back to a college instead? If he has issues about going out, perhaps he could do online courses? www.vision2learn.co.uk I think it is do free online basic courses in various thing. Might be worth him having a look, would help with his confidence too. Or he could look at course with the OU? Though I don't know whether he could do course with them until he is 18, but he should get it fee free, is he has no money and you are on a low income.

Also please check at www.entitledto.co.uk to see if you are getting the correct benefits.

Also you can pay your council tax over 12 months instead of 10 which would help to spread the costs.

Ref the ceiling collapse and dry rot, is this not covered on your building insurance? And the roof?

best of luck and sorry this is so long
chev

www.lightspeedpanel.com - this is a survey site, where you get points that turn into vouchers (you choose). May not help with the cash flow, but the vouchers could be saved towards birthday/xmas or given as presents.

www.ciao.co.uk - survey site that gives money. A bit fits and starts i.e. no surveys for a couple of weeks, then three or four the same day.

www.yougov.com - again paid surveys. However takes a while to get to the minimum payout level

www.mytns.com - again this is a survey site, but it pays you in points that convert into Nectar points at Sainsbury’s.

www.pigsback.co.uk - this is a points site, i.e. they give you points for buying things via their site. BUT you also get points for signing up for news letters (some of which are even interesting!), and also for clicking on adverts with pink borders. I have spent NOTHING with them but got £40 vouchers through (been registered since January). There is also a thread in the freebies section, of www.moneysavingexpert.com that gives you all the daily answers to the competitions so you can have a better chance of winning on them. I won £20 of points recently on the daily quizzes so a nice boost to the Christmas fund.

www.mutualpoints.com - another points for clicks site. You can also buy things via their site and get points too. For a long time, I just clicked the links in the emails they send you, and that gets you 5 points. At 3000 points you get £20 I think. You can do searches via their site and that gets you points too.

www.quidco.com - this is a cash back site, so very good, for checking if any potential new insurers (i.e. if you have checked your contents insurance say and found a new provider), are offering cash back. E.g. Lloyds was offering £120 cash back on new policies at one point (the offers do change). You can also get small amounts of cash again for doing searches via their site. You can earn 52p a day by doing this. Every little helps.

www.greasypalm.co.uk - another cash back site, where you can do searches and get small amounts of money. But it all adds up. I think you can get about 50p a day on there for nothing. Minimum payout is £20 I think, but you can sign up to survey sites via there, and get extra money that way for nothing.

www.topcashback.co.uk - another site where you can do daily clicks to get money for nowt.

www.britishrewards.co.uk - same as topcashback, daily clicks to do searches for pennies a time.

PLUS

Are you in the correct banding for your council tax? Again there is an article by Martin on the main website about how to go about checking this. If you are in the wrong band and due a rebate, it is for all the years you have been living in the house since 1991, so this can be several thousand pounds back.

dfitps

OK, please don't shoot me for this, but a couple of things about your situation worry me!

I can understand a separate finances attitude, but not at the same time that you take sole responsibility for gas, electric and food bills, while your partner gets to spend his money buying himself a house! Separate finances but splitting regular bills like utilities between you, and having both partner's contributions reflected in the house ownership is more usual - you don't have to be married to buy a house, and also you can specify percentages if you own a house jointly, e.g. if one partner has put in a big deposit it might be 70:30 in their name.

With your name not on the deeds, your partner is currently buying himself a house - one that you can live in at the moment, but not one that you're guaranteed to live in as long as you want to or that if it's sold you'll get any money from (if you split up).

I know you said you didn't want your relationship analysed, and I'm not doing that, honestly! But please do think about the house and the future. Has he made a will in which the house is clearly and definitely left to you? If he died tomorrow (god forbid I know, but these things do happen) what would happen given that he has debts? Would they have to be cleared from his estate (i.e. including house) before any part of that estate was passed on to you? Would that force the house to be sold from under you? (Maybe someone who knows more about the law in this area would know?)

If you did split up, how would you feel about the fact that thanks to you paying all the household bills, 'his money' as you call it has been able to buy him a house - but there is nothing at all in your name to show for all those years of contributing to the household (as a cohabiting partner not a wife you'd have no automatic right to a share of the value of the house). The same goes for childcare - if you have done more of this than him for a child who is his (am assuming your youngest is but not your oldest), then you reducing your earning ability by doing that has made him able to pay the mortgage - because if he'd had to either pay for childcare of spend more time at home himself then he'd have had less money to spend on the house. In other words, you've contributed indirectly but just as validly to the house purchase - but with nothing on paper to show for this.

I hope you don't mind me saying this as it seems worrying to me. At the moment you're helping to buy and improve this house by taking care of other expenses and duties for him, but if you split up or he died it seems to me that you and your children could be at risk of homelessness (and might also be further down the queue for house money than his creditors, perhaps). I know it seems awful to think about death and splitting up and so on, but if the worst happened it could really matter.

Not sure if I'm allowed to post links, but these have a bit about cohabitees rights.

http://www.oneplusone.org.uk/marriedornot/
http://www.oneplusone.org.uk/marriedornot/WhatIfs.htm

Leaving all that aside though - best of luck with reducing your debts!

rainbowbrite_2

I didnt think about the mortgage like that,but you are absolutley right.He always just says that he is taking care of the big bills,the important ones i.e the mortgage,loan and council tax and so my half of the bills is in paying the rest.I have asked before about having my name added but he says it would cost money to alter or have me added to the deeds so he doesnt want to do it.He doesnt have a will either so everything,probably even his work pension would go to his parents I think.
It is something I have to push him on.

rainbowbrite_2

So much information and advice,thank you chavalier.
r.e. your question-
By the way your husbands wage what does he do? I personally DON'T think that is a great wage, could he get more doing the same job for a different company?

He signs the weekly hour slips for the guys on site so he knows what they get paid and is always complaining about his pay in comparison.He is a civil engineer and is salaried with company vehicle and his fuel is paid for too.He told me yesterday that the guy who digs the holes on the site earned £50 more last week than he did.The labourer is paid hourly £9.50 and gets time and a half or double time for weekends and also gets a daily travelling allowance.My partner doesnt get that because he is salaried.
He also told me that the company have an agency engineer who does the same job as he does but earns £19,000 more annually.My partner used to work via the agency too but went salaried 7 years ago for the job security of a permanent position.
He is worried that if he went back to the agency he would then only get his basic 40 hours and be of pocket due to car costs,fuel etc.

chevalier

Wow he is a civil engineer and being paid that little? I am amazed! I would certainly question whether job security and a car and fuel is worth £19000 a year ie what the agency guy is getting extra. I would suggest that he need to sit down with his boss and ask for either time off in lieu for the weekend working, or else to be paid extra for it. Ie he is being paid for his hours (not even at overtime rate). I know civil engineers and they are getting better pay than that (though they were doing tunnels rather than buildings). Either way it would improve your situation no end if he could ask about this.

Ref the house/ will etc. I know this is tricky but at the very least you should do a DIY will for him. Explain that you want everything to be sorted for the child/ren. That might give him enough motivation to do it. If he dies intestate it can get very tricky as to who has rights to the estate.

Ref the house deeds. He says its expensive, but have YOU checked. It might only be a couple of hundred or a couple of thousand but at the moment you only have his word for it. Again as has been said above, you would have a difficult time proving you have a beneificary interest in the property, because you haven't been paying the housing costs (mortgage or improvement loans). That would worry me.

Just a thought, but with all the part qualifications you have got, have you thought about enquiring about credit transfer at the Open University. You may find that you have credits to already have part of a diploma say or even a degree in social/child care, so that you may only have to do a couple of courses to make up the amount of credits. Ok so there would be some up front costs but in the longer term you would have better earning potential. And remember you supported HIM when he was in Uni, so what about fairs fair if he supported you?

best of luck
chev

Marru

Hi,

Just wanted to tell about my experience. I was in a long partnership and lived in my partner's house that was mortgage free. I was paying half of all the cost of running the house, food and going out etc. It was working ok except I had sometimes problems keeping up with his lifestyle so I used my credit card (silly silly girl). It wasn't too bad except then I found myself preagnant. During my maternity I obviously struggled to pay my debts and put money into the house account so I took a consolidation loan, more than the loans were so that I was "catch up" with my house money payments.

Then I entered into a bad franchise that wasn't bringing me any income instead was costing an awful lot so yet again loan payments went up. I got a part time job and my partner did look after our little girl in the mornings for 8 months so I was able to go to work. But even my income combined with tax credits wasn't enough for me to keep up with all the payments and I was buying food with my credit card untill I stopped. Every time I went to the shop I asked him for money and bought only the necessities and if I didn't have enough money to buy all the items on the shopping list I didn't get them. My partner complained that I am putting all my icome to pay my debts and not contribute to the house/food but I managed to stay firm.

Needless to say that we are not together anymore. I emptied my daughters young saver account to pay rent for 6 months and moved out. And now I am faced on dealing my debts. Oh, forgot to say that all this time he was sitting on £50k savings and when I asked him to borrow me money to pay my creditors and offered to pay him the lowest market rate interest he refused, this would have allowed me to contribute £200 per month more towards the house account AND he would've had better interest paid on his savings than on savings account.

I am not saying that your relationship has been/is/will be the same as mine. I am just saying that do your calculations and please please put your foot down. There is excellent information, template letters and budgeting tools in www.nationaldebtline.co.uk

All the best to you,

Marru

Oh PS yes it would cost to put your name on the deeds as that might be considered as a gift (unless you can prove that you have paid your share of the mortgage payments) and the tax man would want the tax paid for the gift.

fc123

rainbowbrite wrote: »

I didnt think about the mortgage like that,but you are absolutley right.He always just says that he is taking care of the big bills,the important ones i.e the mortgage,loan and council tax and so my half of the bills is in paying the rest.I have asked before about having my name added but he says it would cost money to alter or have me added to the deeds so he doesnt want to do it.He doesnt have a will either so everything,probably even his work pension would go to his parents I think.
It is something I have to push him on.

Hi, just a quickie...I am not judging your relationship at all but if you all live together and are a family, then the "One jar" system may be the better option for now.
All income goes into 1 jar and essential outgoings come out....then everyone decides on what to do with what's left. In your case; tackle the debts.

At the moment, you are paying out much needed cash on high rates of interest / penalties. This ££££ needs to stay in the household pot. If OH has access to 0% that could save £££ straight away...then you could sort out a DMP.
If you can up your income (would be great if you could do the proof reading) then still, put all the wages in one pot....not, you pay food, I pay mortgage.


I wish your son well too.......must be hard for him at such a young age too. I hope that gets sorted too.

Wishing you well

Clare

rainbowbrite_2

Amazing how quickly things start to move once you finally realise and get your head out of the sand:o .
Firstly,my son.I didnt even know he may be able to get any benefits,no-one at the doctors surgery,the psychiatrist or even the social workers or community health nurse he seen when he was still 15 mentioned it.I phoned up the benefits office yesterday and they are getting the forms sent out for DLA,incapacity benefit and income support.Apparantly he would have been entitled to something for well over a year but can backdate the claim 3 months.I have to find out about carers allowance too.He has a doctors appointment today to ask about a medical certificate to go with the benefits application:D .
Secondly,the big credit card debts of mine.My partner had a phone call last night from MBNA.First time they have called him,didnt know they did that.Anyway,they offered him 9 months BT at 0%(he has a £15,000 credit limit with zero balance).I am pretty sure he is going to move all my credit cards onto that.The minimum payment is somehow only £5 a month?Fantastic!!!(So I do not need to contact any debt management people):D .
Thirdly,I have contacted the local council re school work but again have been told they have enough people on their books and to try again after easter hols.
Lastly,I am going to start up my own business:eek: .Zero, or very minimal outlay,operate it from home,not exactly sure what yet.I have visited the local careers and business advice offices(Its a free service I didnt know existed which I found via an internet search yesterday), and am enrolled on a few free business courses over March and an appointment with a lady from the VAT office this week for some advice too.I saw a business financial advisor,free appointment,today.Raring to go,and I am feeling good:cool: .

rainbowbrite_2

Back from the doctors with son and we were given a medical certificate with a recommendation that he should not work for 3 months.Medical conditions are noted as agoraphobia /social phobia.Hopefully this should get him some much needed income at least and that will take the pressue off us a little as far as buying his clothes and giving pocket money is concerned.