I have not paid my credit cards since November

In_Search_Of_Me

Good morning. Great that you have talked and looks like both of you have been individually scared and hopefully now jointly dealing with it? Ring CCCS and get some advice but you need to ring round get the balances & APR's for each card. You may get a shock but keep going - whe you know what youre dealing with its easier to manage!
Have you a local freecycle to get odds & sods from? I would suggest doing a spending diary each and you'll be amazed how much you bot spend on little bits that get forgotten and you can see where you need to cut back (It was books, groceries & mags for me - I still struggle with them!).
It may be that the best option is to do a debt management plan - as you can both now see things cant go on as they are but I really hope that this will bring you closer as a couple and able to tackle things as a family. As OP said see what bens your son is eligible for - with finances are he cant afford to be proud! At the end of the day that is what the bens system is for! Good luck getting work - that will really help!

rainbowbrite_2

Thanks for taking the time to read all this and for replying dawnybabes.
I am glad we talked too.We actually very quickly ended up shouting at each other,it all got a bit silly with us blaming each other for the mess ,quizing each other on what they did with their money, but we calmed down and went through it all on paper.
He brought up money I asked him for or borrowed off him for this that and the other,I still owe him £450.So I said if he wanted to play it like that I would add up all the birthdays and xmases,kids clothes and groceries I had paid for on my own over the years and bill him for half.He decided to forget the outstanding £450(I have been paying him back bit by bit,£100 last month and £50 this month already)even though I dont think I should have too as everything I borrowed off him was for what I consider joint stuff like birthdays and vet bills etc.I think he is beginning to see the problem as ours rather than mine though.

rainbowbrite_2

Thanks for that 'In search of me'.
I am confident that we,or rather I,have the spending under control as far as I can.All the househiold spending apart from DIY is my responsibility anyway so I can get on and organise all that in my own way.I dont buy mags or books or anything else.Groceries are down to £50-60 a week for everything.All the cc debt interest rates are posted,most of them are at 0% and are all up to date,its just the 2 main ones of mine that are the problem with over 25% interest.
I still need to see where the £303 wages are going so will get my partner to keep a spending diary,but from his estimates I think its all reasonably accounted for alraedy.
I will of course find out about benefits for my son and I will increase my income.I hadn,t honestly realised our situation was quite so bad until yesterday when I started to write it down on here,so I will definately get more money in ASAP.

In_Search_Of_Me

Have a ook at the old style boards - lots of ideas there for cutting grocery budget! Congratulations - sound sike you have both had your lightbulb momemnt so the only way is up!

rainbowbrite_2

I need to increase my income by a minimum of £361.68 a month just to keep paying our current commitments.I also need extra to cover clothes for the kids,additional expenses such as vets,dentists,opticians,prescriptions,and big one offs such as birthdays and xmas.I would like to bring in another £300 a month for those things so that I never have to rely on credit again.So £661.68,rounded off to £660 to keep it tidy.Thats an additional £152 clear profit a week I have to bring in to make everything work.
Up your income board,here I come:cool:

terrytibbs_2

Good luck Rainbowbrite. Can your OH not cut down on his daily spend? I.e. Bottled water, chewing gum etc? All unneccesary spends which mount up. Also, if his works truck needs screenwash or whatever then they should pay, not your OH!

RoxieW

Hi rainbowbrite - just checking in and seems that you've made alot of headway - pat on the back!
Its difficult for me to understand how it can work for a couple with separate finances as you have had - and its obviously not working. It seems you've had alot of clarity by posting on here and thats really good. You say its since you finished college and have been 'doing nothing' that you partner got difficult over money. Do you think this is resentment on his part? You need to have this out with him and get to the bottom of it for things to change. I'd definitely suggest that you need to agree to work as a team with joint finances on this one. Whether you go to work or not.
How old is your youngest? If school age then as I said, an after school club or whatever wouldn't cost that much in childcare. Or perhaps an evening supermarket job?
I'd definitely look into the DLA for your son. Lower rate is around the £15 per week mark I think? In order to claim carers allowance for yourself he would need to be on at least the middle rate which, unless he needs additional care or supervision regularly throughout the day, he wouldn't get. But I think he should get lower rate if he's not going out, needs reassurance/extra support from you. Its worth filling in the forms anyway! Not sure if you get tax credit for him but if so you would also get extra tax credits if he was receiving DLA.
Just want to wish you all the best - I'm sure you and your hubby will come through the other side of this better off financially and in your relationship.

bestmumof3

What did you study at college?

Is it worthwhile going back for a refresher course, or can you get a job in your original field of study? What about pursuing a career in teaching or even a job as a classroom assistant - that will tie in with school hours and school holidays

rainbowbrite_2

Thanks,
I did a 1 year uni access course.I then studied social science and extra philosophy & religion for a year so I have half of an HND in that,got quite a few extra modules but decided to divert to teaching.I then did 10 months of an HND in childcare and education but the EU childcare funding rules changed and I had to drop out of that course because I couldn,t pay the nursery fees.I was gutted by that because I had just 2 months to go on the course and all the exams were at the end so I had worked for nearly a year for absolutely nothing at all.I was however accepted onto a degree course for primary teaching but decided the 5 years at uni would be too much on the family,with travelling time it would have been a 12 hour day and a pre 7am start travelling for me and my daughter who was only 2 at the time ,so didnt take up my place.
I have loads of bits and pieces of qualifications,pages of them actually I seem to collect qualifications, but nothing that is any real use or makes up a full qualifiacation like an HND or anything.
I have a business management certificate too but I did that 8 years ago and have never used it so dont know how much use that would be to me.
I did a course years ago for playscheme workers and childcare through the local council education dept but again have not worked in that area for a while and its a really old qualification.
I have always wanted to be a primary school teacher but wont apply for uni again until my daughter is at secondary school.I am really good at art,poetry and stories(not so good at modesty apparantly) and do love working in schools.I spent lots time on school placements while I was at college and up to the age of 22 worked in after school care and youth clubs.
I have tried to get onto the councils list for classroom assistants a couple of times in the past but any time I phone they have enough bank staff and the list is always closed.I will try again.

rainbowbrite_2

Thanks bestmumof3 for prompting me to look at the possibility of work in schools again.The last time I tried was 5 months ago in October 07 when DD started school full time so worth another go.I have also been on the careers scotland site and completed a career profile.Most of my top careers were all in teaching and art and design etc,which I knew already,but there was also another career on my list which I had not thought about and will look into today,proofreading.