9 weeks till wedding and GF drops a bombshell :(

GirlRacer_2

Please don't be too hard on your girlfriend it's taken her a lot of courage to share this with you and she's probably been carrying the burden around for quite a while now. I can't offer you any advice on the money front but just wanted to offer you support.

Good luck x

Burlesque_Babe

Opening her mouth and confessing was probably one of the hardest things she has had to do - she must have thought about it long and hard and would have been in a very dark place in the days running up to telling you. Please, please, please, give her a big hug and tell her that you still love her and you know she didn't do it on purpose - it will be such a relief to her.

Practically, as others have already said, a list of each debt, the amount outstanding, the APR and what stage the debt is at (has it been passed to a debt company etc) along with your statement of affairs is the next stage.

There is a way through this and whilst it is all relative (and we don't yet know your income etc), £8,000 can be tackled with relative ease.

Zazen999

Hello there.

£8000 is the same amount that I had when I finished uni - and clearing that is DEFINITELY DO-ABLE.

Please give her a big hug, and tell her it can be done; the important thing is that you do it together.

But please post the SOA, it gets it all out and you can make a start on clearing these down.

KellsBells

Morning, hope you both managed to get sleep last night. You CAN and WILL get through this, I know how tight money can be - I am a young (young-ish, 27 today!!) mum with two sons under 6. My hubby is 29 and horrendous with finance, but together we are learning to work through it.

Keep us informed on how you're doing, and do please give us a post as to who your fiancees debts are with so we can advise you.

all the best.xxxx

keeno

Hi all

Thanks for all the really nice replies, its nice to know there are people out there that care. I got up this morning after thinking long and hard all night. My GF has always supported me and forgiven me for the multiple mistakes ive made during our relationship, this wedding is the one thing that she has ever wanted and im not taking that away from her. This is the only mistake she has ever made and it wouldnt be fair

I actually asked her to come into the computer room and sat her down infront of this post, i wanted her to see she is not alone in this. I came in a few minutes later and she was in bits again I think just reading all your replies has really helped.

Things will be very tough for a while but we will get through it all. She is phoning CAB in the morning and ill keep this thread alive and post regular updates.

Thanks again all, you helped me make the right decision and I know my GF is very grateful aswell.

compulsivespender79

Well done to you Keeno. Telling my boyfriend was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but he was fantastic as you have been. I know that your fiancee will by now be feeling a million times better than she was 24 hours ago. I know it feels like a terrible betrayal to have something like that kept from you, but you can be assured that she didn't do it out of malice, or any intention to hurt you. She was probably very scared of losing you, as I was. (Sorry, I wasn't scared of losing you, I meant losing my BF!!!:rotfl:)
The wedding will be the best day of your lives, and a wonderful chance to start your new life together fresh, open, and honest.
You sound like a lovely couple, and I really do wish you all the best for your lives together.

CSx

Mozette

All the best to you. You are in fact incredibly lucky - you each love someone who loves you back, and please believe me, being in debt - which you will sort out with the help of all the lovely people on here - is very small potatoes in comparison.
Have an absolutely wonderful day, and then an even better life together.
Best wishes,
Moz x

squidge60

sorry you have had a biggy thrown at you at a time like this my guess is your girlfriend has been wanting to tell you this (proberly for a while)at least she has told you some people wouldnt .to be honest i would glad of her honesty . dont see the point in getting really angry its not like shes done it on purpose and whys the wedding off ?yes its not a great way to start married but you will both get though this and be stronger for it.at the end of the day its only money i hope you both see a way forward from this and have a great day.please just unite and with everyones help on here with what to do with finances you will BOTH be fine.good luck

themaccas

I'm so glad you have kept your wedding plans, you sound such a supportive couple and I'm sure together you'll get through this. Believe me no matter how difficult it is right now to cope with all the facts and implications of this debt, it won't get any worse than this right now. You're in for a financially creative time ahead and there are always things you can cut down on. From today start a spending diary, accounting for every penny you spend, that is always a shocker when you see what your money actually goes on spending each week.

Anyhow hugs around for you both, how did the CAB go?

keeno

She will be on the bell to CAB tomorrow morning, im hoping they will be quick enough getting her an appointment. Ill let you all know asap. :T