sisters wedding abroad

luckichi

Hi, I am looking for some advice.

My sister has decided to get married abroad next year & has said she would want me & my family to attend but I just don't think I could afford to.

I would love to attend her wedding but just don't have the money for 4 of us for flights & accomodation, we don't even have passports as never been abroad before.

I really don't know what to do, or how to tell her.

Any advice appreciated.

Becles

Even passports are pricey these days - around £75 for an adult and £45 for a child. That's before you even think of flights and accomodation!

I would be honest and say you can't afford it. However you know her likes and dislikes, so you could find some suggestion for places to get married locally or that you can afford to travel to. It show you want to attend and want to be part of it, but the cost means you can't afford her plans at the moment.

We got married at Gretna Green. I can dig out my threads about if you think that is something of interest.

heppy23

You've just got to be honest and tell her. The sooner the better so her plans can be adjusted.

My sister lives in Dubai and was going to get married last year. As it happens her other half got cold feet and it all fell through but it would have been a very expensive trip. The flights are dear and we wouldn't have been able to stay with here like we normally do so we'd have had to have found accomodation. It's not worth going all that way for a couple of days so we wanted to make a holiday of it.

We were upfront about it and admitted we would really struggle to make it. Luckily it never became a sticking point as it all got called off.

Dan_Thunder

Could just you and your partner go instead and leave the kids with family/friends for a few days?

Obviously, if you can't afford you can't afford, however she's given you plenty of notice if the Weddings not 'til next year. Is there no way you could save up X amount per month or maybe explain the situation to your parents? They might well give you something towards your costs.

thanksalot

Where abroad?
Travel costs vary widely from one place to another.
Or as suggested above, just go by yourself as a representative of your family (and enjoy!)

floss2

Have you priced up the flights etc? If you had a target cost, could you adjust your budget to account for it?

aligerdie

I really doubt you would be the only people who couldn't go, my best friend got married nearly 3 years ago in the cook islands, and although we would have loved to have gone, we simply couldn't afford it. They ended up getting married on a beach on their own, and loved it! They had a big party for everyone when they got back

Is it possible they could arrange for a blessing when they get back with a huge party for everyone?

that way they get the idyllic wedding, and everyone gets to celebrate too!

poet123

our niece got married in Mexico last MaY and for our family for 1 week it would have been £5000! fortunately(!)another niece was getting marrried the same weekend in the Uk, and we had akready commmitted to that so we didnt attend.

I do think though that sometimes the dream takes over in wedding planning and common sense goes out of the window. They wanted to go abroad and were quite affronted that some people refused because of cost. So in order to to include those people they came home and had a big "Do"again(taking out a loan to pay for it)!!!!!!!!!!

[Deleted User]

Right, my 'economic take' on weddings abroad is that the decision effectively shifts the total wedding costs away from the couple and onto the guests.

You need to tell her you can't afford it, maybe even make her feel guilty that her choice of wedding means her whole family can't make it.

Sorry, but my view is that weddings are a family event... not solely for the couple

VickyA_2

Some friends of ours decided that they wanted to get married abroad (Hawaii). However, Hawaii wouldn't be our first choice of holiday destination and when you're looking at going that far I'd want to be somewhere that I had chosen. We declined that invitation. In the end, they realised that none of their friends, nor most of their family would be able to attend so they shelved those plans and got married in the UK afterall......

If they want to get married there, then that's fine by me, but I wouldn't be able to witness it. The same wrangle, but with a different friend is going on now - she wants to get married in South Africa in September (and I'm a teacher, so I can't even get time off even if I wanted to).

Is there any money for you to go by yourself, as thanksalot suggested? Is that a possibility?

Maybe your sister would realise that not everyone has the money to go with her? (or the time)

emjem_3

Talk to your sister and explain your circumstances as soon as possible. You also need to take into account the Hen do, the present and your outfits too!

There are some good suggestions in previous posts...however do not make your sister feel guilty about what her and her DH want to do on THEIR wedding day!

I think there's a good possibility that they may rethink their plans once they realise the cost implications for their friends and family. Either they will change the location or compromise and hold a blessing when they return.

This is your sister's big day. Emphasize that you would love to be a part of it but that it maybe well above your budget.