PoppyOscar, Le Cochon and the MFW adventure

poppyoscar_3

Ha - there's the proof of my advancing years - just realised i have started repeating myself on the thread!

improviseadaptovercome

Hello PoppyOscar, had to pop in and tell you about my court experince, it wont lessen the anxiety but hopefully it will put a chink of perspective in your case.

At a magistrates court, in my experince 9 out ten accused plead guilty on the day. This can be a reduction of a quater in the sentance if they do. It is not unusual for people to risk seeing if you will turn up and hope to have it thrown out.

Even if it does go ahead to trial the experince whilst not pleasant can be liberating and useful. For instance when you speak to the laywer, ensure to ask about the fairly new criminal restraining order that can be imposed post sentance.

And if I may be so rude as to ask a question? If you went into sainsburys and made a complaint to the manager, that developed into an argument and then he/she hit you, would you stand for it?
You would quite rightly be entitled to have that person removed form their job, arrested etc. Emotion and love can often be used as an explantion, heck, their are hundreds of em,. from money to drink, however their canot be an excuse for hitting someone you claim to love.

It is the very opposite of love and finally I woudl like to pay tribute to your courage and bravery.

Well done and keep going..

poppyoscar_3

Hi Tpot and IAO,
Thank you so much for your kind words. You have no idea what a comfort it is to hear from people who encourage me to do this. It gives me strength to keep going. I have a friend from school who I recently learned had been in an abusive relationship for 20+ years (from before she was married!!!!!) Talking to her has made me realise that this has to be a head decision not a heart one.
I know it will be only a matter of time and I will get over this and I have to say that the learning that has come from it also highlights the kind and generous and caring people I have in my life, who far outweigh the one who tried to ruin it and actually make me realise how blessed I am. I will not be the one who lives to regret what happened - I hope it will be him.
Thanks again,
PO xx

poppyoscar_3

Off to see the divorce lawyer this afternoon. Dreading it - it's so final. Guess it needs to be.
PO xx:(

SmlSave

Hugs poppy

setmefree2

Big Hug from me too

LilacPixie

Hope it went well Poppy and was not too traumatic for you.
I have an involvment with some local womans aid charities and from what I can gather the abusive partner pleading not guilty is pretty much standard stuff, Seems to be a last gasp effort to intimidate the victim and make him or her scared by the thought of giving evidence. Most seem to change please at the last minute so us to cause as much trauma as possible but still get the lighter sentance.

I presume charges have been brought by the crown?? If so they will have a lawyer assigned to the case, you will probably be asked to attend a meeting before trial to go over some things. That is the way it happens in Scotland so I am presuming England/Wales is the same.

poppyoscar_3

Thanks LilacPixie....I have been told this is a fairly likely outcome, although knowing my DH who thinks he's infallable, it may not be the case.
The meeting with the lawyer went ok. She says it will take five-six months. I'm hoping not to have to give the !!!!!! any money but she says i may have to come up with a couple of grand. how unfair would that be? he did not contribute a penny and then beat me up.
also my OP for january has gone for a burton as i had to come up with £500 for the account. still hope to op something, but not the £500-£600 i'd planned.
po xx

Queen-Bee_2

Dear Poppy,

I'm glad it went as smoothly as it could have done today and really feel for you. Look forward - whatever lies ahead, you'll be mistress of your own destiny and won't have to deal with the threat of someone beating you up.

You've done great things on the MFW front in difficult circumstances. Translate some of that perseverance to your personal life and you'll do more than OK.
Big hug
QB

By the way, what's happened to that nice photo of your pig earlier in your diary?

poppyoscar_3

QB - I have no idea what has happened to le cochon's pic - he's so gorgeous, someone has probably stolen it!!!! or maybe i just didn't go on photobucket often enough! will have to try to put another on.

I am determined to by MF by 50 so will have to come up with a plan. Might have to send Leo out to work - he's another who contributes nothing - except purrs and love!

PO xx