What can i feed the fussiest eater in the world?

going2die_rich

Your kids certainly have it easy don't they!

I had to eat whatever my mother put on the table and if I didn't like it I knew where the kitchen was (not that I'd actually had a choice in not eating it if I wanted another meal made by mum)

Think you might want to put your foot down a bit more, and stop being such walk over parents.

Honestly, did you get to be fussy eaters with your parents? I some how doubt it, so why would your kids be given the right to moan and complain when you are providing them with a suitable meal.

recovering_spendaholic

As I said in my earlier post I have a VERY fussy, VERY stroppy 16 year old and if I tried to dictate what she ate then I would get the heighth of abuse from her and quite frankly I am not up to the bullying, so I make a meal and offer it and if she doesn't want it then sometimes I make something else but sometimes she just goes out with her equally stroppy friends and buys !!!!!! from the chippie. I have never been a really dictatorial mother, making her clean her plate, in fact I have always been the opposite, trying to accommodate her wants and it has totally backfired as she rarely gives me the time of day, shouts and swears at me, leaves the house like a pig hole and if I try and and tell her to do ANYTHING she shouts at me so loudly and for so long that I become intimidated, and I don't think that anyone else would be any different as she is over 6ft tall and very intimidating. I think that had I been a little more firm when she was younger then I would have a different 16 year old now.

going2die_rich

mikeywills wrote:

If you want children to grow up without an opinion of their own, and with little independance, and prepared to to accept whatever anyone else tells them then follow hilstep2000's philosophy.

.

Get a grip, it's a meal!

If you bring kids up to say no they aren't eating that all they'd ever want to eat would be junk food.

Children should be respecting their parents not giving them a list of things they will and won't eat. It's not a hotel they are living in!

As for your independence rubbish, they can have independence when they move out, but for while they live with you they are part of that household and family therefore act in a sociable manor, not in a manor that makes them feel like royalty by having specific meals made just for them.

It's hardly sending them down the mines for 14 hours a day - it's sitting and eating a meal thats been prepared for you. They can eat all the rubbish they want at school and enforce their "opinions" there (Even though they are all sheeps at school anyway)

going2die_rich

northern_star wrote:

Hear, hear. :T

I work in care and hilstep 2000's approach would be termed abuse.

I'm also mum to 4, one of which is a fussy eater and while I'm frustrated by him at times, I would not wish to 'dictate' what he eats (by the same token I wouldn't wish to be dictated to).

It's not about 'spoiling' or 'pampering' but offering realistic, achievable choices should someone not want/like what the rest of the family are eating.

More work perhaps (though not necessarily, if the person is able to prepare their own 'alternative' food) but it sends an important message respecting individuality and promoting choice.

So what happens when your child grows up and has sleepovers? Is that parent got to pamper to your childs demands too?

They are demands as it's one thing not like peas or carrots, but a totally different thing when you have to make an alternative meal for your child because you can't get them to eat what the rest of the family is eating.

If your children are going to be so fussy (and you let them get away with it), what are they are going to be like at school and when they grow up?

I think parenting has gotten so soft now that it isn't surprising so many children are turning into teenage tearways causing havoc for others.

Addiscomber

recovering_spendaholic wrote:

As I said in my earlier post I have a VERY fussy, VERY stroppy 16 year old and if I tried to dictate what she ate then I would get the heighth of abuse from her and quite frankly I am not up to the bullying, so I make a meal and offer it and if she doesn't want it then sometimes I make something else but sometimes she just goes out with her equally stroppy friends and buys !!!!!! from the chippie. I have never been a really dictatorial mother, making her clean her plate, in fact I have always been the opposite, trying to accommodate her wants and it has totally backfired as she rarely gives me the time of day, shouts and swears at me, leaves the house like a pig hole and if I try and and tell her to do ANYTHING she shouts at me so loudly and for so long that I become intimidated, and I don't think that anyone else would be any different as she is over 6ft tall and very intimidating. I think that had I been a little more firm when she was younger then I would have a different 16 year old now.

You could be describing my eldest son. Do you think we could contrive an introduction and send them off into the sunset together :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I think some of you mean well, but maybe you haven't experienced one of these very vocal stubborn beings. I would rather make the family meals ones that everyone likes and is happy to eat. For obvious reasons things that I do not like do not feature on our menus. I do not want meal times to be a battlefield - they weren't when the boys were younger, but now they feel that they have a right to some input. And why shouldn't they - one is an adult and the other almost so. DS2 only has a couple of dislikes and is happy to compromise a bit. DS1 is not prepared to compromise and is vocal to the point of nastiness about why do I serve food that he does not like? It is a problem because the list of dislikes is so long that choosing recipes is a chore rather than the pleasure that it should be. I could have peace about food but I would have been bullied into cooking the same few things all the time and the rest of us prefer variety. If someone feels that they could make him eat whatever they put in front of him then I would welcome them coming to try.

going2die_rich

blessings3 wrote:

Donnt want to be rude but this is one of the causes of aneryrexia in teens - extreem contol can produce extreem responses

And to be honesst 16 +20 they are adults donnt they have any say? Besides in my house they would be cooking tea anyway !!! Does that mean I have to shut up an eat whatever they cook?

Yes because aneryrexia was such a huge problem in the 50s, 60, 70s and 80s...

Think you'll find aneryrexia is an extreme response from people who think they need to look like the matchsticks in the magazines they read, not because parents make them sit and eat a family meal that they've made.

If you brought your child up eating proper family meals then your children would eat properly at least once a day with the family even if they eat junk outside of the home or at all the other meals.

I do agree that a 16 year old should be pulling their weight and cooking two or three times a week. Even younger children should be doing the small bits that they can - obviously not near hot water or anything but having a little helper standing in the kitchen with you even if they hardly do anything forces the perception that they have to do their bit, which makes it easier to get them to pull their weight when they get older. After all, you don't want children to grow up and think that the fairies make the food in the oven and all you have to do is take it out.

Already bad enough that some children in this generation think milk just comes from the supermarket and not a cow.

caroline.

my kids love toad in the hole with mash and veg, although the oldest (18) is not a veg fan he'll have either sweetcorn or baked beans.
how about omelettes, or cottage pie/shepherds pie.
jacket potatos, chilli con carne,
we quite often have wraps, filled with tesco value chicken pieces, mushrooms, salad and a bit of sour cream, add some grated cheese if you like, cos that's lovely all melted on the hot chicken and mushroom! mmmmmmm now my mouth is watering!

going2die_rich

Addiscomber wrote:

You could be describing my eldest son. Do you think we could contrive an introduction and send them off into the sunset together :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I think some of you mean well, but maybe you haven't experienced one of these very vocal stubborn beings. I would rather make the family meals ones that everyone likes and is happy to eat. For obvious reasons things that I do not like do not feature on our menus. I do not want meal times to be a battlefield - they weren't when the boys were younger, but now they feel that they have a right to some input. And why shouldn't they - one is an adult and the other almost so. DS2 only has a couple of dislikes and is happy to compromise a bit. DS1 is not prepared to compromise and is vocal to the point of nastiness about why do I serve food that he does not like? It is a problem because the list of dislikes is so long that choosing recipes is a chore rather than the pleasure that it should be. I could have peace about food but I would have been bullied into cooking the same few things all the time and the rest of us prefer variety. If someone feels that they could make him eat whatever they put in front of him then I would welcome them coming to try.

Your situations are probably difficult but I am guessing thats mainly due to your approach being like that for years so it's difficult to fix now - years on. After all your children aren't about to give up the freedoms they've already recieved, they aren't stupid.

But if you bring up children from an early age to eat whats given and know that they don't get to dictate what they get then they are more than likely going to follow it in older teenage years as it's the norm. That doesn't mean over time giving them more and more rights. Yes you hear them out, but they don't make decisions in the house, they are your children, you make the decisions and they follow them.

Families that all eat their evening meal in different rooms only happens because the parents allowed it to happen them one or two times, whether it was so that they could watch tv in piece or for some other reason, you've given them a privaledge they will want to continue with.

I would love to come and straighten your teenage son out, but I don't think you'd approve of my methods since I'd have little respect for someone (especially someone who isn't a child) to be "vocally nasty". I can't say I'd ever let my child speak like that their mother, they'd be stopped and it certainly wouldn't happen a second time unless they are planning on walking out of the door. Especially with a younger child who is going to be picking all this up and thinking this is how you get your own way.

After all, what does it teach your teenage son if they can become verbally nasty to get their own way? What's the next step tomorrow when out in the real world and someone doesn't give in to their verbal comments or decides to sort your son out?

If he shows that lack of respect to you, I can only pressume he shows the same lack of respect to everyone else, so it'll come up sooner or later. Think if he's an adult he should act like a civilised member of society. I'd personally show him the door and hope that the girl he meets is just as bad else you'd have to feel sorry for her. Because if he can talk like that to his own mother he's hardly a catch for someone else to spend their life with. I don't see what your son's learning by being allowed to stay in your home and be verbally abusive to you, surely throwing him out shows that it wont be tolerated and if he wants to come back he cleans his mouth out with soap before coming back.

Horasio

caroline. wrote:

my kids love toad in the hole with mash and veg, although the oldest (18) is not a veg fan he'll have either sweetcorn or baked beans.
how about omelettes, or cottage pie/shepherds pie.
jacket potatos, chilli con carne,
we quite often have wraps, filled with tesco value chicken pieces, mushrooms, salad and a bit of sour cream, add some grated cheese if you like, cos that's lovely all melted on the hot chicken and mushroom! mmmmmmm now my mouth is watering!

He says he loves most of that

Toad in the hole
Shephards pie
Enchiladas/Mexican

Roasts
BBQ

I will try chilli con carne sometime

He is a Chinese food fanatic but it can be greasy but I do make a good stir fry:)

He is not keen on baked beans but only likes sweetcorn

Thank you:)

PS

I am fussy too but about quality of food, I can't stand fat and gristle

My ideal would be

Casserole - chicken or beef
Roast - beef or chicken
BBQ - beef or chicken

Then have vegetarian days of

Soup,
veggy BBQ,
jacket spuds,
eggs cooked any style,
cheese and biscuits and grapes.
Pasta bakes.

caroline.

you're welcome, my boys are age 18, 17 and 7 and their tastes are pretty similar, apart from the oldest ones aversion to fruit and vegetables, which i don't understand as he always ate loads as a small child. ah well, ppl's tastes do change as they get older. there's loads of stuff i'll eat now that i hated as a kid, and vice versa!

p.s i agree on the fat and gristle thing, ewwwwww!