debt free in 1200 months!?

bountiful

They made a mistake.
Second meeting arranged for next Wednesday........

In the meantime, I have been paid. I have paid my rent. I am going to pay all the bills for November. I am not playing Christmas this year.

There is the possibility of a self-contained bed-sitting room - very nice (a bit like a little holiday chalet with a little kitchen area and a separate shower/loo room), own entrance, heating. £100 a week on the table - no deposit (guess the rent includes the heating, water etc - not sure) lovely location - but I would need transport to get to work - and I would have to get rid of all my furniture - and maybe some stuff too (although I do have someone who has offered to store stuff for me). Hmmm what should I do? I yearn for the clean break - but how to actually do it?

beanielou

Difficult one bountiful.
Hope you can reach a decision thats right for you.
Hope next Wednesday's meeting is more positive for you.
Is your DS's girlfriend still with you?
Take care.

bountiful

Hi Beanie - yes, she is here for another couple of days. Things aren't exactly going well between them..... mostly due to my son treating her much the same as he treats me - and I feel sort of responsible.... she was very sweet and said it wasn't my fault - he is a nice young man, but is basically self-centred ..... sigh!
I am on a course this weekend - two days - I am a Senior Group Leader and an Experiences Co-ordinator - so that should keep me busy! LOL xxx

beanielou

Enjoy your course.I just love experiences
I could do with one at the mo as have major issues wth my DS at the mo.
He is totally self centred & frankly Im & so :mad: at the mo.& breathe.
What is it with our DS's eh?

bountiful

Ooh - self-centres DS? Snap! And is he, like mine, basically a 'nice young man'?
I have tried over the past few years to gradually pass more and more responsibility over to him - it has been a slow process. I will PM you. xx

Seaxwyn

Hi bountiful, it sounds as if you've got lots of thinking and big decisions to make.

The small flat sounds rather nice - I fantasise about a little place just for me once all the children have left home. It would mean your selfish-but-basically-nice son would have to take responsibility for himself too. I'm sure if you think about this for a day or two you will know what you want to do.

As for the 9-5 job question, I agree with you that I would much rather not work 9-5 as long as I can avoid it. But your salary certainly is very low. I have seen jobs for unskilled people advertised at £17k and upwards, and you are certainly worth more than that. Have you looked around for better paying jobs, maybe in a different field?

Hope you're well and keeping warm somehow.

bountiful

The salary thing is just so different down here - skilled jobs are advertised at £13 - £16,000. Unskilled jobs are pretty much minimum wage........ it's Cornwall... I am at the top end of the range for support workers in Cornwall. I think it is even worse in Wales...

I am going to look at the bedsit next Friday (on my day off) and see if I like it .....enough to make the BIG effort which will be required to make the change.

beanielou

Thanks for PM~will reply later.
Hope your course was good & you got lots of benefit.
When will you hear from CAP?
Hope you like the bedsit.

annamc75

What is your business idea? Why not bounce it off some of us here and see if we can help get you from idea to drawing board and beyond.

Re knitting - have you thought about listing your stuff on ebay - if you are an accomplished knitter then you might want to look into knitting hats and scarves. I read earlier that someone was knitting old vhs tape into bags and also old audio cassette tape too.

Your recent posts sound very down and not nearly as focussed as you were at the start of your diary - it does seem that your at home ADULT has a big part to play in this. You have enough on your plate without having to parent a 22 year old - your obligation ended at 18. He will never stand on his own two feet if he has you picking up the pieces. Tough love for both of you me thinks. Does he ever read your musings here? If he did, would the extra stress and worry that his actions have really matter to him?

bountiful

annamc75 - Hi - thanks for your post - sigh - I am really stuck as to how to actually remove my son from my life - as you say, it is really very tough love - and I don't know if I can do it - especially at this time of year. I am having second thoughts about the bedsit - because I just don't think I can make everything happen fast enough to make the change. My son gives me about £200 a month - which, when subtracted from the £625 I pay, means that a place of my own for £425 leaves me in the same position financially, really, doesn't it? Plus I would have more travel expenses if I moved where I was thinking of. But, I would be happier? and it would be the catalyst for change workwise too? Heck - if only my Dad's bungalow would sell, I could move, set son up on his own ........... I think I am going to have to take it more slowly........
I am not feeling down at the moment - it's just a genuinely difficult situation that I am in - and the musing are painfully convoluted ............ I know, I know........

My business plan was not sound: I was thinking there was a gap in the market for a social club for people with learning disabilities - and maybe a dating agency. People I have mentioned it to seem to think that it would be a minefield of red tape....and I have no idea how I could make money out of it.