Maintenance Agreements...Are They Enforceable?

System

Although I'm a woman myself, I am sick of other women demanding that their ex husbands shell out for their children. Men are not walking wallets and should not be used soley for this purpose. £400 a month, for doing nothing is alot to expect from her ex partner. The father of my son has been dead for the past 10 years, and there is no government fund to pay towards his upkeep, I simply get on with it myself. I am not bitter or resentful of this fact, but I do get highly annoyed with women who think that it is there right to expect the fathers to shell out for everything. So the children have to go without some things? So they want to go to university and they can't afford it? Big deal... we can't always get what we would like in life. My advice to any women chasing their ex partners for money is this... STOP IT AND MANAGE BY YOURSELVES. Any father that willingly gives gifts of money to their children usually have plenty to spare. Any man that doesn't give money probably doesn't have enough to give, and if that's not the case then they're not worth chasing.
I would advise your daughter to manage on her own and stop thinking that she has a right to her ex's money, just because he fathered the children.

chugalug

Ouch - thats a bit harsh! Surely if a child has 2 parents then it is the duty of both parents to maintain that child? ???

filigree_2

Ouch - thats a bit harsh! Surely if a child has 2 parents then it is the duty of both parents to maintain that child?   ???

Yep, and we have a duty to pay life insurance so that they don't suffer poverty if we die.

System

life insurance would have been good but unfortunately, because my partner commited suicide, even if he did have any (which he didn't) life insurance does not pay out if a person takes their own life.

Some may think my comments harsh, but so many men are fleeced by women, who tell their children dreadful lies about their father, mess up contact arrangements and try to make their life a misery... but mention money and hey presto! They're filling forms in like a shot and 'demanding' his contribution.

I know a few people whose life has been made a miserty by the CSA who incidentally have openly admited that the system is not fair and doesn't really work.

What is it with these women that try to force blood out of a stone? No one these days lives in poverty, there are benefits galore to be had- Children do not go without, mothers just bleet on about not getting money from their ex's because they are bitter and want a better lifestyle and more money.

chugalug

RESPONSIBILITY. I would still argue that both parents have a duty to maintain their children. Sure there are people that would abuse that but not just women. I know far more couples where the father has just left the first family and not taken any responsibility for maintaining his children and then gone on to have more children all the while bleating about having to pay maintainance. Sure the CSA is an unfair system, I think the majority would agree with that but its the best we've got at the moment. And as for 'plenty of benefits available' why should the state (tax payers) step in when parents refuse to support their own children? I really wish there was an easy answer but there isnt and condemning whole groups of people (women) really doesnt help.

filigree_2

"no government fund to pay towards his upkeep" versus "Benefits galore" - !!!!!!? A complete reversal of opinion there...

I shan't bother to point out the other flaws in the argument because the poster knows full well that their posts are inflammatory and contradictory.

I suspect this is a troll, and from the bitter misogynist tone I suspect a non-resident father with a political axe to grind.

It's a shame pennym's concerns have been hijacked by someone else's agenda.

Fran

Lucy - Shouldn't the issues of maintenance and child contact be kept seperate? I think 2 people pay if two people create as previous posters have said, but I agree with your point that a lot of fathers get a raw deal when it comes to child contact.

System

I absolutely swear that I am a woman (and not a troll as suggested although that bit did make me laugh) I am NOT a man who has been caught in the maintenance trap either. I know that there is absolutely no way of letting you know that this is true, but I promise that it is.
My argument about 'benefits galore' and 'no government fund available' when the father dies, wasn't contradictory, but perhaps I did not explain myself very well.
Yes, of course there is WFTC (the benefits galore bit!) but maintenance paid to mothers does not take this into account, so they get both. A mother asking for maintenance from the CSA will get the full amount due, even if she already gets the full amount of WFTC as well. What I meant was that although I am entitled to £45 a month WFTC, there is not another government fund that provides a form of maintenance for my son as his dad is not alive to do so - I hope that makes better sense?
I still stand by what I said. Women should learn to manage by theirselves and get a job.

jockettuk

Ive had to fight for my childs rights in my divorce as my ex thinks that anything he gives to her money or whatever will benefit myself.. ive never asked or will never ask that he pays for my upkeep i can do that myself but why should my daughter go without when he has moved in with another person and her children dont go without. if my ex had died i would have moved on and got on with whatever life threw at me but he didnt and i dont see why he should have the life of luxury whilst our child suffers.. After childcare costs we dont have a lot to live on but we manage the best we can anything we do get from her father is a bonus that means she can go on school trips etc

As for the lady whos daughter needs advice tell your daughter to seek legal advice as if she has no assests she will be able to claim legal aid..

kittenlucy

Why does your child 'suffer' ? Does she go without clothes, food, warmth, shelter, love? I doubt it. Divorce would be so much easier if women didn't nag on about their 'children suffering' What a load of rubbish. Unless your child is beaten and mistreated or has a life threatening illness or is physically disabled, then he or she is not 'suffering'. You must move on and provide love and support for your children and stop thinking that your ex's wallet solves all problems.