I think i'm bein bullied at work.

Sagaris

Don't walk out!!! It will be harder to get another job and then the bullies would have won. Just think - while you are there you are earning money, it's easier to go from one job to another than it is from no job at all - and you will find something else soon.
Just think how pathetic they are if they are wasting time tormenting you, and not doing the job for which they are paid - you are professional and hard working, two things which do not describe your tormentors. I know it's hard, but try as much as you can not to show how upset you are by this - if you do they will do it all the more.
Good luck, I really feel for you in this - it's a horrible way to be treated.

tawecdl

My motivation has gone now, i feel kind of guilty for not working to my full potential. I feel like the weight on my shoulders is way to heavy for me to take it any longer. It's affecting me as a person, sometimes i'm down when I get home. I haven't told my OH, i'm too embarrassed.

floss2

You need to tell your partner - it's not fair on them...they may think that they are the problem.

Do you have any sort of grievance procedure? Or maybe you could think about writing a memo to your boss, stating that you were off sick, your partner can verify this, and as you have now been with the company for x months, can they arrange for a review meeting to be held to resolve any potential work-related issues that either you or they have.

Then you can clear the air and find out exactly what the problem is. How long have you worked there?

RadoJo

I think the first thing to do would be to keep a record of everything which happens - if you can get copies of any e-mails where you are described disparagingly, then do so, and if anyone says anything unprofessional to you then take a note of when it was, what brought it on, and who else was around to hear.

Apart from anything, once you see it all reduced to words on a page, it might feel easier to control it, but you will also need a record of incidents if you do want to pursue the matter formally. Is there an HR department you could speak to?

It might be a good idea to ask someone else to sit in on any meetings you have with your boss as well, as not only would he be less likely to say anything to you, there will be a witness to anything which does happen, and it will show your bosses that you will not be intimidated. The person could be a member of HR or a colleague who you can trust, but someone who is there to be an impartial observer would definitely make your boss think twice about their behaviour if they think they might have to account for it to someone else.

You could also try ringing the Citizen's Advice bureau who can give you advice on how to proceed if you did want to make a formal complaint and prepare you for what to expect. I had to contact them about an employment issue recently and they were really nice, very helpful, and thanks to their advice, it was all resolved in my favour shortly afterwards.

Bullies rely on their victims not saying anything and feeling as though the comments made about them might be true, so you must remember that if you weren't good at your job, they could just fire you, meaning all this nastiness comes from another source.

Think what you would do if one of your kids was being bullied at school - you wouldn't let them believe that the bullies were right, and you would certainly encourage them to tell someone at school who could help and ask for support from those whose jobs it is to do so. Even if you are worried about taking the first step to put a stop to it, think of what a great example you will be setting your kids for the future, and how proud you would be of them if they did the same.

Similarly with your OH - if they were being bullied, wouldn't you want them to come to you? Would you be judgemental, or would you want to help? You HAVE to stop letting what your colleagues say sink in - it isn't true and they are even managing to invade your home life by making you feel like you can't talk to your OH. Would you let someone else get away with doing that to a member of your family? Then don't let them do it to you!

RadoJo

Just wanted to bump this as I am worried about the OP - please let us know how you're doing?

Glad

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debs66_2

i was bullied for nearly 3 years by a female co-worker who had been there longer, and had more authority. i was a single mum with 2 kids and the job was perfect for school times and close to home, and she knew that. she did everything she could to undermine me, to stop me using my initiative, and to restrict any overtime hours i might get. her problem was that she had been the only woman before i joined the company (car dealership), and she hated the fact that i had a laugh and got on well with everyone else.

i ended up breaking down at home and considered walking out, despite being in the process of arranging a mortgage which was to get me back on my feet. i told my boss i was considering leaving, and he made some effort to sort it out, but not enough. she was sneaky.

one day i had a light bulb moment - i didn't actually have to work with her. i spent a couple of weeks scouring job applications and was snapped up. i have been in this job for over six years now and was even made a director.

my tip - LEAVE IN YOUR HEAD !

once you know you are leaving, the weight is lifted from your shoulders. do not leave until you get another job as it is easier to get employment when you are in work.

good luck. there's more people in your position than you realise.

TigerAngel11

I was also bullied by my boss and I wish I'd handled it better, but I was a naive 19 year old who had virtually no confidence and thought that if I worked harder and did everything perfectly, he'd stop. Obviously that was an impossible task and the harder I worked, the more he demanded. He took it out on me because I was the youngest in the office (only 2 others worked there) and the only one who wouldn't stand up for herself. Whenever he had a problem, he took it out on me. He even took credit for my ideas!

I wish I'd kept a record of everything he said and did, instead of hoping it would all go away. I wish I'd done as a person in another section suggested and asked for a meeting with my boss's boss about it - even though my colleagues thought the bosses would stick together in that situation, at least then I would have been proactive in tackling the issue.

In the end, I had zero confidence and bulimia (though my eating disorder issues went several years back, they'd never been so dangerous). I ended up losing it and quitting on the spot when he accused me of not doing my job (which wasn't true - I did the task he was referring to, even though it was never part of my job description). I'm only now beginning to resolve it all - I realise that he is a weak, insecure, socially inept, sad man and that he had no right to treat me how he did. It wasn't my fault.