Split up with my boyfriend now in a big mess

rayday2

Why are you moving out the house?

Stay in the house, rent out the flat as soon as possible and resume part command over deicisons, yuo have to be strong and ballsy not be dictated to - if your money was good enough for him then the joint living and selling of the property is!

I assume the house has more than one bedroom!

poohwithmoney

We were going out for 3 and a half years

He has some debt nowhere near as much as mine. It is a joint mortgage

wydsiwyrg

My advice would be to sell your flat ASAP, and move back in with your parents. Unfortunately circumstances have gotten you into this situation, but for things to look up in the future, you'll probably regret not doing this.

House prices are currently dropping at the fastest rate since the last crash in the market (see the article on BBC site today about RICS report)

How much equity do you have in the flat? Personally, if I were you - I'd sell up my flat, cut my losses and move back with my parents. Oh and never touch credit again!

BlondeHeadOn

I agree with rayday2, stay in the house as it is half yours anyway, and refuse to budge until your ex starts talking some sense!

I also agree with advice from CAB or whoever else you can get some free help from (don't most solicitors have a free 1/5 hour for advice?)

I know it's pants when you have the break-up to cope with as well, but I suspect that soon you might find yourself feeling the anger at being taken for a ride! And if you do, use that anger as it will be a great spur to getting things done and not being pushed around.

He is treating you like [EMAIL="!!!!"]brown[/EMAIL] stuff and that's not on - you should not be the one taking all the fall on this. You have rights too!

And finally, several huge and very dodgy menage-a-trois hugs for you!

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

poohwithmoney

Ps the flat is just in my name

free-range

Just read your story, and I can only echo other advice already given. CAB will give good advice and stand your groungd with the ex. It's in joint names so it's not all up to him, you have a voice too!

I have been in a similar situation myself years ago... Borrowed £15k for then boyfriend to pay off debts (he was not credit worthy to get own loan) Oh,yes the alarm bells should have rung but like a fool I did it and guess what, he did a runner 2 months later.

Being older, wiser, and still in debt I now realise that I could have persued him for the money but at the time I just sat and licked my wounds.

This will make you a stronger and wiser person - honest :rolleyes2

pania

WIll be down your way next weekend hon, if you want the ex walloped around the head with a soggy wet kipper let me know!! Think he could do with it!!!

Wildchild_2

Before we can give you proper advice we need to know:

Who does the house officially and legally belong to??? sorry I am slow at typing, you've answered that one now

Is your name on the mortgage and if so is it joint ownership or does he own the bigger share. You need to answer this question now as when we bought our house there where various options as to co-ownership and they all have different rules. I think joint ownership means you both own 50% no matter who paid the most and who paid the biggest deposit etc but other types mean one owner owns a bigger percentage of the property and therefore has more rights when selling etc - not totally sure about all this but if you get legal advice it will all become clear

Just wondering as you said he paid for the mortgage deposit.

If your name is on the mortgage agreement and you legally own part of the house then if I were you I would not budge and inch. You own it then stay there. Are there two bedrooms? Stay living there until it is finished, then sell and use the money to pay off all the debts. Then if there is any money left over you can split that between you.

If the house is in his name you need to get legal advice ASAP because if you can prove that you have been paying part of the mortgage, bills and for the improvements then (and I am not 100% sure about this) I think you are entitled to some of the property.

PrincessStanny

How do you hold the property - joint tenants or tenants in common?

MissKJ

I think the "stay in the house" option should be explored. you give in too easily! If you were married with kids you would take him for every penny! Do it any way! Stay in teh house, rent your flat to pay off your loan. Plan it and use snowball etc to see oyur progress. Rent s room in the house. you can charge £357 per month tax free. Take him to court to get cash to repay what he owes you. Make him contrbute to the house till you can get a mortgage on your own. Up your income an think big. You will make him so sorry by doing well! Is any of this possible for you or am I wearing my rose tinted glasses again?