We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

blue_monkey_2

Hi SC, Thank you. I ended up having a row with my hubby last night over this. I told him that I said I had told the council that I will consider all options and that I would have happy with a 2 bed if it had a downstairs reception we could turn into a bedroom. Well, he told me that I should not have said this that now we'll only get a 2 bed. etc... Well, i then said that maybe he should be calling the council and not leaving me to deal with everything - and yes, that is everything, Ryans appointments, calling the council, MP's etc.. all the emails, all the phone calls, all the packing, he has not even looked on the internet for info on Ryans condition as I have asked him to, let alone try and find out anything to do with housing. I spent 3 hours yesterday looking on the Internet to see if there was any Housin Assocciations I had missed as I'd be happy to move 10 miles up the road but that goes into a different council district, wanted to see if I could do anything else. Hubby has done nothing, only last weekend he sorted his clothes and a few weeks before that his tool shed. I have done everything, i am tired, weary, and he makes me feel like I've done nothing. it is depressing sometimes, and right at this moment if I got offered a 2 bed I would take it and he could sod off and live elsewhere if he is not happy. His answer always is 'I shall leave my job shall I'. Which is a pathetic answer. I said 'no, you should stop work for 10 minutes and then make a phone call'. He did not have an answer to that. As I pointed out, unless he wanted to get another job paying 20k more per year or find 100k deposit from somewhere so we did not have to beg to the council and be made feel worthless then for him to go do that. I would be happy with anywhere, any roof, as long as my children had a place to live, I told him we were not in a position to choose and to be making demands. So that was nice evening. LOL!! I try not to argue in the front of the kids but I won't be told that I should not say this and that when I am doing the work to find us somewhere and when we are not in the place to demand what we should and should not be getting. Right now, i feel I am doing this on my own. I tell my friends things but I do not tell them anything that I tell you guys on here as it just feels humiliating. I wonder if I should not look as strong over it as they say 'what will you do' and I shrug and say 'we'll we will do whatever we can and deal with what happens' and they say 'you are coping so well' etc.. and really I just want a shoulder to cry on. but I don't want people to see I am not coping. Do you see what I mean. So this is why it is easier to deal with things on this thread and tell strangers how I feel, you are all kind of like my samaritans I guess, where I can tell you all how I am really feeling without you seeing me.

I am not sure what the judge was thinking, right now, I am trying to get past this, i want everything to be ready for leaving - I am tidying the garden before it snows al over everything, van is being loaded for the tip tomorrow and that will be taken when I get some time. hubby is on call this weekend so I'll do that one morning after the kids are in school.

Got some new tom cats in this area and they have wee'd over everything. Bloody owners, why can't they all be responsible and get their bits cut off to stop them straying ad peeing over over peoples things. i can even smell it in the house. Urgh! If I won the lottery I'd make it my misson to go out rounding up stray boy cats, taking them to the vets and getting their nuts cut off and then dropping them home the next day. No-one would ever know - except you lot of course, LOL!! I'd be the phantom nut-lopper.

PS. My daughter is being a b!tch today - anyone want a swap for a nice one who does not scream at me all day, she has been screaming at me since 6.30 - oh and she called me an idiot this morning to which Ryan replied 'you're an idiot mummy'. nice. Please remind me again why I am a stay at home mum!! I have resorted to putting her in the downstairs loo, closing the door and telling her to come and join the rest of us when she is ready.

And deep breathe....... and repeat 'back to school on Tuesday, back to school on Tuesday, back to school on Tuesday, back to school on Tuesday, ......'

PPS. 'Someone' (not me, not me) has tipped a watering can of water over my sofa while I have been typing this message!! That'll teach me for ignoring them!!

Careful_with_that_Axe

bm
I don't know what to say, except (((((((((hugs)))))))))). Apologies if the hug is lopsided, i've got a limp
Much love and still racking brains to thinks of anything else to help you.
Can Social Services apply any pressure on Housing Dept re Ryan?
J
x
p.s. Crying is not a sign of weakness or being stupid, it's a very honest emotional reaction to the stress you have been and are still under and a necessary release. You need to release some tears or your bladder will swell and you'll be crying all down your legs. Urgh!

MummyHol

The more i read on your thread and in messages from you, the more i realise how amazing and strong you are. Well done.
Being upset is not a sign of weakness & remember you're doing an amazing job. None of this is a result of anything you've done and you're coping so well.

I think its pretty obvious that i'm not the only one on this thread who thinks this, too!!

If you do end up having to take a 2 bed, it won't be that bad. If you give it a lick of paint you should be able to exchange for a 3 bed really easily.

Hol xx

MummyHol

Also, i just found out from a CSO that you can also apply to the housing associations in your area directly (the council told us that you couldn't do this- you could only go through them!!)

blue_monkey_2

Morning everyone,

Feeling OK today, another day with lots to do. Hol, some HA you can, if you check their website then it will tell you how much stock they give to the council. Around here they give up 100% of their stock, however,I've been browsing the websites of other coucils (North Herts for example) where they have huge lists of HA and I spent 3 hours going through them all and their websites and seeing if I could find anything available. I've come up with one, apparently they have about 8 properties in this area that's all but I have to call them and ask. I also have to speak to them about whether moving outside the council area wil make any difference to schools etc... It is such a minefield, we border 3 or 4 different council areas and just moving 10 miles would mean moving into any of them but I'd be happy to go those 10 miles to school and back each day as the roads are nice and quiet. I think if we could apply to all of them we would be fine, LOL!

I feel bright and refreshed this morning though - oh, after another row with hubby about everything - and I mean everything, LOL, this morning he got both barrells and some more, I told him to judge my suggestions when he had bothered reading the info I have but as he had not bothered to do sod all then not to judge mine with negative comments!

My suggestion was to buy a caravan for about £1000 with my overdraft as when we are finished with it then we can sell it back again and get our money back to pay the overdraft off. His answer was that if the council was to see us buying a caravan they would tell us to go and buy or rent a house privately. I told him - in a roundabout and rather loud way - that is was a ridiculous thing to suggest and that when have you ever needed a credit check to buy a caravan from eBay..... the rest is probably better off left to myself, LOL!! I got a few things off my chest, a few things relating to a couple of posts back when SC was asking who was looking after me.....

Anyhow, either way, my friend has already offered us the use of her caravan if the worst comes to the worst and it set me thinking.... If we are in a carvan then we get more 'points' than being in a hostel. If we are in a hostel we will have to share the bathroom, kitchen and have limited garden access as we as asking when we come and go and keeping our children quiet as well as wondering if they would encounter any drunks or alcoholics along the way. If we was in a caravan then we would have our own toilet, privacy and would only have to open our door and the kids be able to play outside, they'll be able to play on their bikes and scooters etc... and although keep them under control it is a family environment and so there will be a play park, etc.. The local caravan park here even has a fake play beach and a lake for swimming in. The only thing is that we might have to move around every few weeks from one site to another and then back again as we would not be able to live on it, so to speak. So, £180 a week hostel or £70-£100 a week for a caravan site (maybe less depending on where we go). We'd have our own cooking facilities and she has an awning so we would be able to sit outside when the nicer weather comes, eat our lunch al fresco, get lots of fresh air.

So it is something else to check out. I will ask the council when we see her on Thursday. However, if it IS possible then in that case wait until the bailiffs arrive to kick us out and escort us off the premises before we become homeless (in the meantime we will continue to look to see what properties are available). The day before they arrive we will get the caravan ready, and after they have been leave, comeing back a few days later when my mother is around to let us in to sort the last of our belongings, which we will keep here and in the garage and van until she actually sells the property. You can see I have given this some thought already and it sounds daft but I have got quite excited thinking about it and even if it gives me time to take my mind from my problems I am happy. The kids will feel like it a holiday rather than being stuck waiting for a place to live in one room at each others throats.

But it maybe another option, just think, not having to answer to anyone as to when we come and go (they lock the door of the hostel at nights - difficulty is that hubby has to be on call 24 hours a day and can get called out at night - not sure what happens then?? It is part of his job, how does he get out if he gets called out), still have living/cooking/washing facilities and still be able to stay on the list and wait until something comes up housing wise.

I know you all will let me know your thoughts on this. The moving around I have no issue with as there would not be much to take as we'd have just a few clothes and a few kids toys, I'd take the kids to school and then go home via the launderette to do my washing and then - hey, no housework as the kids would eat their dinner outside and I'd be able to sit in the sun drinking coffee and reading/on the internet/watching the wildlife or TV (would be able to get Freeview!) and get post redirected to the PO!!

But I am OK, I started chatting to the ladies in the library this morning and they are also keeping ther ears open incase anyone mentions needing sheltered accomodation, they asked for my number to call me if they heard anything (how lovely of them to do that I thought) and they have told me to come back and see them to let them know how it was going. The lady also told me about the couple who lived 2 doors down from her who were both working, both in rented private but went bankrupt so they could go to the council and got housed right away in a 3 bedroom house. They were also 'boasting' to her about the trampoline they were getting for their new 'huge' garden while their little boy was riding around on his new £400 bike wearing a new £100 jacket. She also knew f other people struggling in small places with older children sharing. Makes me wonder how some people get it all while tose os us are left to struggle. Never mind. Onwards and upwards - so to speak.

Thanks for your lovely messages, I did smile when I read them all last night. Sent the whole day clearing and Freecycling yesterday. Hubby has gone off to the tip (maybe after I told him he had not even bothered packing a damn thing....) he was actually keen to go when usually he would moan about going, LOL so something clicked!!

Oh, and just to make you smile when you picture this, I did kind of 'lose it' this morning big time when he mocked my suggestion without giving it any thought and he was sitting there with his fingers in his ears when I was shouting full on at 8am...... I think I might have woken the neighbours but I did get it out of my system so that is probably why I feel OK (now). However, I said all I needed to say and I think some of that has worked!!

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. x

PS. Hol, that is what I thought with the 2 bed too!! There is ALWAYS the exchange option so I will not disregard anything.

eira

Can't offer any advice but having read the thread I think you're totally magnificent!

smashedbooboo

Hi honey. The caravan suggestion is not as silly as it sounds. And you could stay on the site for the season. Its only out of season you cant stay there. Hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

smashedbooboo

Do you know anyone who has enough room to put a static for a while. More room. My friend picked a fab one up for 1500. I know its still money hun, but you would have more space. And the garden. Its just a thought chick. If this house of mine had not come that was my next plan of action. And dont forget whilst you are in a caravan or static for only 10 months of the year you dont pay council tax.

Careful_with_that_Axe

bm
What a fantastic idea! As you say, the kids are more likely to treat it as a holiday and you will at least be able to "nest" a little, which would be impossible in a hostel. Since nicer weather is on its way it would be much healthier for you - to be able to sit outside the front door that only your family would use.
Only downside is if you use your overdraft, you would pay interest on the borrowing. If there was a way you wouldn't have to do this ........ ?!
I can only applaud absolutely what eira says. I'm absolutely bowled over by your courage, strength and ability to cope.
I vote a round of applause for bm for being a special person :T:T :T
J
x

blue_monkey_2

Well, just having a browse around, the lovely one with the beach - hat has now gone to make way for log cabins :rolleyes: an BTL ones at that!! There is another that will be open until Sept 08 that is nearby so there is that option. After this it is making way for the Olympics, I did forget about this, it seems that the caravan parks are being 'upgraded' for this - more money suppose!!

I don't know anyone that can park a static - I don't think anyway. I thought I might post a Wanted ad on Freecycle and ask... nothingventured and all that, there might be somewhere that we do not know about that has vans on it. I am trying to find out all the Ins and Outs of all of this sometimes today/tomorrow, just to ask the question on thurs anyway.

I am not too 'worried' about the money side for buying it as it will be something I can sell on when i am finished, as I said, I'll use my OD for it - I can't get using it for everyday stuff and don;t touch it as I will not et out of it when in but this is different as it'll be sold on again afterwards.

So, back to looking. I think I need to live near the coast and book about 50 of those £19 sun holidays and I'd be well away!! LOL!! I am amazed at how posh some of the vans are though. Not that we can afford any of those but nice to look none the less.

Does anyone know if there are any rules on booking these sites for and if there is a limit on how long you can stay?? I am not sure where to start looking.