We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

blue_monkey_2

Well, list is out, nothing available for us. Not even a 2 bed, he council told that we will be OK as long as we are expressing an interest. Which confuses me as there is nothing we can express an interest in.

The person who got the other place we looked at though, they had more points than we did so we would not have got it anyhow.

So now we have to wait for an appointment to see about going into temporary accomodation.

I have just spoken to the council, they are doing their rota to find when they are available to speak to me and I have asked whether we will get put into one of the two towns that I cannot really live in without a choice (way back mentioned, because of the violence, stalking and having my house set on fire by an ex) and she did tell me that these would be taken into consideration. There are 2 1st floor maisonettes (not really suitable with Ryan anyhow as still no garden to get him into) are where this mans (call him that lightly) immediate live and I know for sure it will be the start of another campaign of hell and this time I have my children to consider.

Oh !!!!!!!! Why can't life be easy? I'll be honest in that I am absolutley terrified and I have a constant feeling of sickness that I might not have a choice of living in a place where I am going to be trapped in my home wondering whether I might have my house torched that night and not being able to sleep. I explained this to her (there would be police reports if they go back this for as well as one was almost raised, also the reports from where I went to the police after being battered - not sure if they keep them this long though) I said to her I would rather be in a hostel indefinately. She told me we would be able to bid for places in the same way - once a fortnight - with the new points total that we will have.

I hate the way I am forced to think of my horrible past at times like this. More nightmares and sleepless nights

blue_monkey_2

Thanks Hol xx

blue_monkey_2

Remember that guy living on his own in a 3 beroom house over the road who said he would move if something came up - well something has, a one bed bungalow - exactly as he told me he wanted, a mile an a half away from here.

Sorry if you read this bit already and it has gone - I've edited from what should I do to what I have done.

I've just called my local counsellor who seemed surprised that we did not get an offer of somewhere to live in the mail a month or so back - he was under the impression that the council had made us an offer via the mail - he did mentio this to me but it turned out they had sent me the info on CBL. Anyhow, I have epxlained and given the details of this chap and what is available and hat it is what he told me he wanted, who the LL is, ect... and he is going to make some enquiries into whether this can happen. I guess this would bypass the council in a way and it would be via the HA themselves who would then check the council to see whether we was on the list.

He is calling me back tonight tolet me know what hapens. I told him I was clutching at straws as I had nothing else left to do, I think he iunderstood this and as you know I am not going down without a fight but he even said that the HA would be delighted to get the 3 bed house back and if they have what he wants (yeah, not needs, wants) then he is going to try and help.






OK, now you can choose to skip this bit if you want, the ranting bit is coming.....

I hate being wanty, needy and feeling absolutley desperate. It is not me, I can't even bring myself to cry in front of anyone over this as that makes me look weak and stupid. I know, I know, you are all going to tell me different but that is how I have always been because I have had to be. I have had to grow myself balls of steel to deal with what life has thrown at me, I hate feeling week and without any control over anything. Even when I was in that violent relationship I had no-one to turn to and no-one to help, I went to the police and because his family marched me down there (yes, that is right) and stood over me while I dropped the charges the police told me that from that day forward they would no longer assist me if I needed help or if he attacked me again. I was 17. Can't believe I am telling you all this but here goes anyway, it is helping with the pent up feelings. I used to get the bus each day to his mothers to get money for the electric and then walk back, on the bus I started speaking to this bus driver and somehow he worked out what was happening and he told me it was not normal and that I should not have to go through it. It is hard when you have seen your mother being at your fathers complete beck and call - for everything (use your own imaginations - and we used to see all of this!!) and you don't know anything different, you assume that it is normal, even feeling degraded and like crap when you have been forced upon while sleeping and that, you assume that it is normal, that everyone livs this way, that you have no choice, no choices as to say no. Anyway, it sounds a bit randon I guess but this bus driver gave me the incentive to leave, he gave me the feelings I had within mysef to rise up above all of what was happening. beleive me, it took a lot after everything I had been threatened with. I could have been weak and given in when I was being stalked and abused - remember the police had told me I could not go back to them - and then I decided the only way I would be free was to leave for another county. When I had money problems after being there 5 years and came back it took a few months for them to find where I was and then it started all over. Only this time I was a little stronger and I stood on the bus looked him in the eye and then told the local shop keeper I knew what he was like and what his previous record was and he lasted a few weeks there. That felt good. Since being back here they leave me alone as we are in a remote area and probably can;t be bothered to get here, it took a long while to accept that I might be free, but I cannot and will not move back to the area where his immidiate family are living as hell will start all over and the constant worry would always be there. This is the same reason I do not shop or visit these two towns ever and I drive through with my head down if I have to go through. So, I am sorry but offloading this has helped immensely, if you have read it thank you and I hope that you understand why. As I said, offloading means I can get most of it from my mind for a short time. I've not read it through, I can't so apologise if there are spelling mistakes and if some of it does not make sense, you get the jist though. If my sister goes to town and he sees her he will pounce on her asking qestions and won't leave her alone and now my sister hates going there as well now - sadly this is the kind of person he is and he always be and so you can understand why I cannot be in that place again. Thanks again xx

elantan

bm i have read this thread continually now though have never felt the need to write as i know you are reciving loads of support and practical advice but your last message just reached out to me and i felt i had to write....

i am grateful for the day that bus driver came into your life he was in the right place at the right time...he gave you the push you needed to help yourself and because of that you have became one very strong person you have overcome odds that defy belief and will continue to grow and develop as a wonderful person... i can understand why you feel you are being wanty and needy but believe me your not you are in a desperate situation and only want what is best for your family and yourself. i know it wont feel like it just now but you have so much to be proud of ...sending you love and best wishes el xx

chunky79

Just read through the passage and my heart truly goes out to you, it really does. For years i was abused physically/mentally by my ex husband. it took me a long to to grow those balls of steal and along with elantan i agree the bus driver was a god send.

What you are doing is great you haven't sat with your head in your hands you are fighting all the way. Keep your chin up missus i will be thinking of you xx

mumoftwins

blue_monkey wrote: »

OK, from Shelter website:

What is an 'outright possession order'?

If an outright possession order is given you have to leave the accommodation by the date given in the order. The date is usually 14 days after the date of the court hearing. However, if you are in an exceptionally difficult situation (such as if you are ill or have very young children) you may be able to convince the judge to delay this for up to six weeks. If you want to do this you should tell the judge about it at the hearing.
If you have not left once the date given in the possession order has passed your landlord can apply to the court for the bailiffs to evict you. It usually takes two to four weeks before the bailiffs come to physically remove you from the property, but you may only get a few days' notice.

This is what Mum has been granted, so this means we can still stay and not get in trouble. I know if I call about it today I am not oing to be able to speak, I'll just fall apart so I will give them a call tomorrow night. I am scared that they can give us just a couple of days notice and turn up and remove us. Oh well, something else to lose sleep over I guess. Maybe there will be something on the list tomorrow (due out on Friday but usually there from Thursday Lunchtime!)

Hi Bm,

My court date for eviction was 18th Sept and I was given 14 days notice but didn't leave there until 6th November which was the day before the bailiffs were due. The Homelessness Dept wouldn't help in rehousing until the very last minute despite numerous phone calls and visits. They actually told me where we were going at 5pm the night before I moved out the next day at 8am!!

I'm just reading through the posts on your thread and may come back with more, but in the meantime you must keep phoning and visiting the homelessness dept - you are unlikely to get an answer from them until it absolutely necessary that you are found accomodation but keep on at every one.

Good luck BM and please phone me if you like - I understand.

mumoftwins

Re: the delay for appt to see Homlessness Dept - this seems to be standard practice as they know that you do not have to leave on the 14th day - they told me to stay put until I had notice that the bailiffs were due to arrive an a certain day and even when I gave them this date they still didn't give me any info on where we would be placed until 15 hours before we had to leave!

I am not 'having a go' at Homelessness Depts here it just seems to be standard practice particularly within Hertfordshire as BM and I are.

mumoftwins

MummyHol wrote: »

Wish someone would let Stevenage Homes know this because there not adhering to it at all- they're treating poeple in this situation as i mentioned above and other people i have spoken to in other areas have been treated similarly. We were geniunely told that although they accepted resposibility housing us because we were unintentially homeless and priority need, we were not homless until evicted by bailiffs (this was only last summer, too).

.

Echoes of another Hertfordshire Local Council here too!

blue_monkey_2

Good morning everyone,

Feeling better today, more so because of offloading the weight from my mind. I am thinking that we probably have 5 weeks so even if we get stuck in a hostel I will leave the furniture and then come back and pack it in the few days after we have left.

I was going to post yesterday but got as far as el's post and got upst so thought I was not up for posting until today, I hope you did not think I was ignoring you all. It wasa lovely post el, thank you and yes, if I could ever meet him to thank him he would as he DID save my life. I had tried to kill myself 3 times before then and each time when I did not succeed wold think i was more of a failure. It was a matter of time if I am honest. I also feel better about being able to sit down on Thursday and give the lady at the council the whole story - it is longer than have written, but she told me that they would consider if I was not going to be safe living in these 2 towns. And I would not be, they will realise this when they hear the story and know the family who I was messed up with. I am sure I will only have to mention the name and they will realise the danger I will be in I hate telling people but I know I have to if I want to safeguard my families future. I also think that mum wants to offload the house as it is too many memories for her and I don't think she can move on, she was abused by her dad as well as my dad and she put up with my dad because of us. She used to sleep on the sofa with a fire poker under her pillow. :mad: We all knew this as kids tbh but when you are kids you do not understand. I could go on, but I won't. But I think it is for the best that we all move on now, but I do need to be able to explain to the council why I need to be away from these 2 towns - I spent too many years hiding the truth - not even my closest friends know about my past life and they know me as who I am now, not who I was then. Does that make sense.


So, I've woken up with a fresh mind. The homeless people called yesterday - we have a meeting with them on Thursday at 2.30 to 'discuss our options' I guess they are going to tell us at this time to stay put and for mum to get the bailiffs in and we can probably add 4-6 weeks onto this time taking us to Mid May time. Bit worried about getting just a couple of days notice before the bailiffs come in but we can deal with that too. I read that we can come back for stuff so it is not like they'll chuck all our stuff into the street at the same time (I hope). The thought of this happening in front of the people I have been around most of my life is just going to be totally humiliating.

Back to the list: On the list this week there were 5 sheltered/smaller properties in this area (2 are in the next town - we would LOVE to move there as the kids go swimming there and it is where they wil go to school in a few years time, this ould be fab, 2 are in this village and one bungalow in the next village). These properties are very sought after by the elderly and there is usually a huge waiting list but they have stopped this now and do the CBL. We also have a high concentration of people in their 60's who are on their own in 3 bedroom properties around here and in the town mentioned above. So, the people going into the sheltered accomodation HAVE to have come from somewhere and should, generally, be local people - so fingers crossed they will be people moving from these 3 beds around here to the smaller ones so they are able to stay in the village. I am hopeful of this The way they advertise these properties is by leaflet and internet. Just incase the elderly people are not able to get to town to get the leaflet I am off to get some for them I feel a bit cheeky but I am off to get the leaflet and am posting it around the village on ALL the noticeboards to make sure that the people who need to see it will see it and apply if they want them. I've also been to see a few people who know everyone in and around the village to make sure that they know these places are available and to let us know if they are applying so we can then tell the council that we know x house is available.

I've also found out that the bloke who wants the bungalow WANTS a 2 bedroom house or bungalow - also that he WANTS to choose where he lives otherwise he is not leaving. I've spoken to 3 people who have mentioned him (without me mentioning it) and they say it is disgracful he is allowed to sit in a 3 bedroom house and demand what he wants or refuse to move. Another story for another board. But, I really don't think he has any intention of going anywhere and it is all hearsay so I will tell the councillor when he calls us.

The housing department continually tell us that places coming up around here are rare so we are going to take the leaflet to the council on Thursday, show her these sheltered places and the bungalow and ask if she can find out where the new tenants for these places have come from and what they have left - as by all accounts we are classed as being homeless we *should* get priority. who knows, it's a guessing game, right?? Heck, I'll try anything now though to be honest.

I am going to try and forget about being stressed until Thursday. Easier said than done with my kids in my face all the time. My DD has been a BD daughter and has now been crying since 6.30am. Keep on smiling, i's going to be a long day. Got to get dressed and make the most of the last nice day, I've the rubbish in the garden to sort, got to go to the tip tomorrow to save some ££ on the price of a skip and I've a bag coming for my business waste (cardboard and bags) as they won't take that at the skip. Supposed to be 18 degrees today. :cool:

silvercar

I feel so bad!

I only asked if you had gone to court because I didn't read back through the thread and then that prompted you to justify all over again why you couldn't go to court. Sorry, I didn't mean for you to feel got at.

You have such a lot on your mind and you seem to be carrying all of this on your own. You come over as so strong but I wish there was someone close that could take some of the weight off your shoulders. I hope posting on this thread helps in some way. At least know that there are people reading this and sending you waves of support and sympathy.

Your long posts at least let us know how you are feeling and the issues on your mind.

I can't believe the jusge on giving 14 days, but maybe he had little sympathy for your mother. He must also have been confused, in front of him was a landlord asking for possesson at the same time as asking him to grant more time! He probably thought she was wasting court time - either landlords want repossession or they don't. He might even have thought she would pull out if he only offered 14 days. I would guess he lost patience and thought, "here is your possession order, take it and go and sort your family stuff out yourself".

I do worry about you. You are looking after Ryan and the needs of your family, but who is looking after you?