My rights to property, cash etc

UnsureAboutthis

Posting on behalf of a friend (my OH's friend/s) who needs urgent legal/financial guidance before confronting her husband.

The Situation:

• Marriage: Married 10 (this year) years, 3 young children. Family lives abroad.
• Finances: She has rarely worked (1 year part-time total) to raise the kids. She has no income and only a small savings account from family gifts.
• Assets: Husband owns the house and main bank accounts entirely in his name. Her name is not on the deeds or mortgage.
• The Issue: She just discovered he is having an affair with another man. He does not know she knows about the affair or the property deeds.

Questions:

1. Property Rights: Since they are married, can he kick her out, sell, or remortgage the house without her consent? How does she register "Home Rights" on the property title?
2. Financial Division: How are marital assets usually split after a 10-year marriage with 3 kids when one spouse was a full-time parent?
3. Spousal & Child Support: What is he required to pay to support her and the children if they separate?
4. First Steps: What critical evidence or paperwork should she quietly gather before letting him know she knows?

Any advice on legal aid, initial steps, or protecting her position discreetly would be hugely appreciated.

NB: What are the chances of success her getting the house and most of the cash and pensions as her husband is very well paid and the house is worth about 450k

Isthisforreal99

The place to get proper legal advice is a solicitor. The house being solely in his name could be an issue. Ultimately if amicable arrangements fail then only a court can decide.

elsien

The starting is point 50-50. Decisions after that depend on a number of individual factors, such as who the children will continue to live with. House being solely in his name is not an issue after a 10 year marriage when unless there are unusual circumstances, it will count as a marital asset.

She will not be entitled to legal aid except in extremely limited circumstances such as spousal abuse and she will need proof of that not just saying it is the case.

Spousal maintenance is rare and if granted is likely to be time limited to give her time to retrain and get a job. Depending on the ages of the children, but if the children are at school, there is no reason for her not to work.

I think what you have put about her chances of getting the house the cash and the pensions must be a mistake because that makes it look as if she’s aiming to get everything. Which I’m sure is not the case, and will not be agreed. Divorce is no fault. The fact that he is shagging another man will not influence any financial agreement.
In the meantime, she needs to gather about the assets that he does have in case he tries to hide any.

She however also needs to be realistic and cannot expect to keep the house and the children and enough money to not have to change her standard of living. She needs to be able to afford to run and maintain wherever she lives. It is about meeting both their needs, and unless people are very rich indeed, after a divorce both parties tend to have to adjust their expectations in downwards direction because keeping two households is invariably more expensive than just having the one.

But she does need to see a solicitor. People here can only give general advice and individual factors are relevant.

And if anyone pops up on here to tell her she can keep the house over the children are 18, take that with a pinch of salt because it is not automatically the case.

Albermarle

The good comments in the previous post are based on what usually happens in the UK.

However you said that -

Family lives abroad, which makes things more complicated, and will be affected by the laws of the country they reside in ( which is ?) .

Do you mean that the house is not in the UK? How long have they lived in another country? Which country are the bank accounts in?

Worried_fool

You said that "the family lives abroad". You have not indicated whether the house and bank accounts are in the UK or the country where they live.

The answers to your questions depend on the law that applies, and when assets, residence and citizenship are spread across more than one country then you often find that different legal systems say different things. All of this makes for extremely expensive legal cases.

Mands

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82137013#Comment_82137013

I took that to be shorthand for "her family lives abroad" therefore: minimal support and assistance with childcare etc etc.

But it's ambiguous and people are kindly offering help with a situation which is unclear.

So: what is abroad? The family, her family, the property, the bank accounts, the legal jurisdiction?

Jude57

Others have given excellent advice on seeking proper legal advice to make sure your friend understands her rights and responsibilities. A couple of things occurred to me that haven't been mentioned yet. First, if I read your post right and the wife's family are abroad, and though you don't mention it specifically, she must understand that she can't simply take the children and return to her family. The father has rights, too and a Judge is not likely to allow the children to be taken abroad unless the father agrees, whether for a holiday or permanently. These are the kinds of things a good family law solicitor can advise on.

The second thing, and as difficult as it may be to raise with your friend, if she has been having unprotected sex with the husband, she must get a sexual health check. The husband and his new male partner may be practising safe sex but it's not guaranteed and the woman really must protect her own health. There are free, confidential sexual health clinics in most large towns and cities across the UK and of course the woman can get tested via her own GP.

lincroft1710

Has she actual proof of this "affair"? Because if the husband denies the accusation, she has little grounds for irretrievable breakdown of marriage.

Alderbank

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82137484#Comment_82137484

None of that matters. It's enough for her to tick the box on the form to say that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

Possibly you might be confused because back in the day when 'grounds' were needed, one of the permissable grounds was a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex outside of marriage. But there is no claim here that her husband is having an "affair" with anyone of the opposite sex.

lincroft1710

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82137646#Comment_82137646

Are you therefore saying that one party can just claim the marriage has irretrievably broken down without offering a reason and a divorce would automatically be granted?

elsien

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82138695#Comment_82138695

Pretty much, yes. Although there are times scales around this, one party cannot stop the other one from divorcing them unless there are queries around jurisdiction.