Toddlers and fussy eating (merged)

Tracy_E_A

My 4 year old hardly ever eats the same time as us. He likes cold food so will eat his dinner about an hour later (cant say i fancy eating cold mash and beans). My eldest hardly ever ate. He used to live on toast, rice pops and yogurt . He is fine now and is healthy and eats pretty well so try not to worry to much. What i would suggest is just giving him a small dinner, maybe he looks at the plate and thinks it is to much and it may put him off. I usually put some cucumber and tomatoes on the side so my little ones plate so he has some cold and some warm.
Good luck.

pinkmexican

I don't know if this will reassure you or worry you, but my brother wouldn't eat proper meals until he was in his mid 20's.

He was a cereal, toast, pack lunch and cheese eater until a few years ago, until then I swear I never saw him eat a vegetable. My mum used to serve him up the meat we ate and a few potatoes, I used to hate the fights when mum used to try and make him eat, but eventually they just settled into a pattern. I think mum took him to the docs and that reassured her.

He does eat more normally now (although he is still a fussy eater), but he never did himself any harm and in fact he was always a healthy child than me and I ate most things. I even loved sprouts.

Like everyone says he won't starve himself.

HTH

P

Zazen999

Hi
My other half's 10 year old eats less; she won't touch breakfast and picks at lunch/tea- all kids are different so just relax, don't make a fuss and offer what he does like perhaps a bit later.

Definitely ban all snacks after lunchtime if he is having any.

Zazen999

pinkmexican wrote: »

I don't know if this will reassure you or worry you, but my brother wouldn't eat proper meals until he was in his mid 20's.

He was a cereal, toast, pack lunch and cheese eater until a few years ago, until then I swear I never saw him eat a vegetable. My mum used to serve him up the meat we ate and a few potatoes, I used to hate the fights when mum used to try and make him eat, but eventually they just settled into a pattern. I think mum took him to the docs and that reassured her.

He does eat more normally now (although he is still a fussy eater), but he never did himself any harm and in fact he was always a healthy child than me and I ate most things. I even loved sprouts.

Like everyone says he won't starve himself.

HTH

P

WOW - this is surely my brother...and mine ended up being a chef - he used to live off faggots and spuds...just shows you that in the end there's nothing you can do, just make sure they get access to good food even if they don't take it!

Irish_Cailin

Hi Rach, I am the mother of four grown up children and a teacher. Not eating well or at all is a very common problem. I worried myself sick when my first child started refusing to eat at around two and a half yrs. The best advice I got was from an aunt, "don't create a battle over food "just clear away the plate when clearing the table without comment. This worked with all of my children. Children create a power battle over food because they sense our anxiety and therefore they have found a way to upset us, to be the boss, to get attention even if it is negative. I have seen and heard of so many power struggles over the years re not eating. Don't worry he won't end up in hospital. Try to relax around meal times. Try to spend some quality time alone with him doing something he likes, this is usually very successful. And remember you are a good mother, just by looking for help on here proves that. :A

emmy05

my son is 8 and hes being a right nightmare about his food, hes never been a veggie eater, he is very much hard work, and i do worry with the schools being as hard as they are about healthy eating, what they think sometimes. altho hes old enough to say he wont eat it rather than he never gets given it i guess lol x

rach!_3

well me ad him do get time together as my girls are both in full time school 9 and 6 and he only goes nursery in the morning so once my OH goes out to work at 1.30pm its me and cameron, we do colouring, playing with toys, on computer etc whatever he wants.
just a thought but do you think if i make the tea early and give him his at dinnertime? and then he can have his "dinner" while we have our tea, or do you think its just the fact of a meal being put in front of him.
i mean his fave is sausage casserole and mash he loves it but now he wont eat that either..

Irish_Cailin

Well rach it seems he is not lacking quality one on one time with you which is wonderful. I guess it is probably the power struggle. A younger friend of mine made time in the afternoon to include her son in the preparation and cooking of the evening meal and it worked. Perhaps a special child meal for him or a little hype about the idea of cooking for the family. Let him choose. Of course you will need lots of patience as it will take much longer doing it with him also of course he is not going to it perfectly but be happy with his effort.With your supervision let him serve his own onto his plate. Then step way back, relax and if he eats it fine and if not fine. Just continue to invite him to help and hopefully he may come round. The more relaxed and indifferent you can be the better. Don't discuss his eating habits in front of him. Do praise but do not over praise either. Children sense our falseness very quickly. You might also consider letting him help you set the table.Good luck;)

kr15snw

My brother is 29 and still is the pickiest eater I have met!

His sunday roast consists of a yorkshire pudding, a burger, carrots and roast potatoes. If you put anything else on the plate he will turn his nose up at the whole thing!

He refuses to try things and my mum just lets him eat what he wants (still lives at home) which some days is just cheese sandwiches.

Unfortunately mum was this soft with me and so I eat so much junk, and am only just starting to try things like brocoli and others greens! Until I met my boyfriend 2 years ago the only meat I liked was sausages and burgers. No chicken nothing! I also didnt like a curry or anything!

siren13577

I'm sorry for your worries, my four year son won't always eat, the best advice I got and can give is to praise him when he eats and ignore it when he doesn't. There's little point in you both getting upset because short of you feeding him yourself, he will not do it. i think this makes a battle field of meal times and the focus will be on him not eating and the ruckus caused by this rather than keeping it calm and none confrontational. Obviously limit his snacks and work out in your mind lunch/dinner times and then don't give him anything at least an hour before, limit his drinks too, obviously you want him to have enough fluids but this can fill him up and make him think he's full. When is he due in school? My four year went to school in September last year and he eats much better now since having school lunches. I hope this can help, by all means visit your HV but try not to take this too seriously, your son will not starve and this could be a temporary 'phase' he's going through, Good luck and hope this helps a bit.
Just another thought, can you get him involved in cooking? My son loves mashing, mixing etc if it's a messy meal, like mash or whisking eggs, flour etc? Perhaps start with fairy cakes or just dive in with mash etc and perhaps it will encourage to try it as you both go along, and it's fun too.