Toddlers and fussy eating (merged)

geordiepaul2001

Thanks fo all the replies.

We have been assigned a paediatrician, though I feel her advice is very generic.
We were told to put her food down for 15 minutes, if she doesn't eat it then take it away.
We were also told not to give her choices of food, she gets what she is given.

We have tried these for a few weeks and seen no improvement, so we have reverted to what we were doing.
We were advised not to bribe her anymore, and not to give her a drink through the night.
The trouble is if we don't bribe the food into her she is hungry through the night, then if she doesn't eat she will cry til we give her something.
I would try controlled crying but my 7 month old is in the room with her and its hard enough coping with one crying child in the early hours.

I just wish they would give us set guidelines to abide by and not tell us that every child is different, we already know that.

Paul

halia

I really hope things get better for you soon, I have a 30 month old who is still in 18 month clothing and weighs 26 lb.

He was 5 weeks early and has a lactose intolerance which took ages to get diagnosed resulting in severe weight loss, dehydration, delayed speech and ongoing D&V for 2 years. He still gets ill very easily and his sleeping pattern is awful.

I get so tired fo peopel saying he will eat when he is hungry, or just refuse food in ebtween meals etc.

Maybe that works with a healthy toddler who is picky and willful but my little boy is pale, skinny, coughing, baggy eyed, not sleeping etc. I am NOT going to let him go hungry or go to bed hungry if he feels like eating!

We try lots of differnt hings but this is what seems to work for us at the moment:
remove distractions, because he has bad associations with food (throiwng up etc) he would rather do anything else but eat so we have to have mealtimes very quiet ie no-one clatering around in the kitchen at the same time
if he is hyuper then sometimes letting him watch TV can help - he will eat without realising it then
not pushing new things, he will eat fruit, drink smoothies, eat veg in casseroles and eat peas and broccoli so I dont' try and force new foods
lots of 'snack' foods, low salt toddler cheesy biscuits, cheese cubes, apple pieces, fruit and nut chocolate

playing the 'mine' game - ie making a plate of food up and then saying 'this is mine, its mummy's' and then make a big deal of 'all right then you can have some' (this works well as he is in a very 'mine' stage right now)

food has to be lukewarm and cut up for him

often he will eat more If I feed him

so basically I try not to fight the other battles, I just concentrate on getting enough foo into him so he can sleep at night. If we manage a fortnight with no illness and decent sleeping I can start to think about things like insisting he feeds himself etc.

We have cut down milk at night succesfully though by diluting it down to 1/2 with water. This filled up his tummy enough so he would sleep. We have a rule that he can have milk before 11pm if he wakes up or milk after 5am (he usually wakes up at 5.30am). In between its only water.

I also try and make sure he doesn't fill up on fluids before meals, its very ahrd as he is very thirsty but I give it in a cup and only half fill the cup then when he asks for more I offer food instead.

hth and good luck

hardpressed

Will she eat at someone else home? I ask this because when I worked with special needs children when they started nursery the parents often said they are bad eaters but we found when all the children sat at the table for snacks or lunch, food was put in front of them and they just copied the other children and ate. Because the staff weren't emotionally involved as parents are, if they didn't eat then the food was just removed untill the next meal.

Ophie

agree 100% with hardpressed

When I take my Midget to friends houses who have children she eats food there she wouldn't touch in my house, and loads of it. I think she likes the competition

morwenna

Hi geordiepaul2001, I can really relate to this one! My DD2 was born 15 weeks prem weighing 1lb 3oz. Reflux was also a problem for her. We had such a battle with her weight, the things that worked for me were finger foods, making "faces" with her food - for example, spaghetti hair, mushroom eyes, carrot stick nose, red pepper strip smile. Brightly coloured foods, a variety on one plate. We always ate together and she would eat if she thought she was eating my dinner as another poster has suggested!! We did go through a stage where all she would eat was HM mac and cheese and another where it was cheese dipped in coleslaw :rolleyes:

But we all came through it, she is now 11y and is a very good eater of veggies, doesn't enjoy meat, but hey, what can you do?

Good luck and don't hesitate to pm me if you think I can help.

geordiepaul2001

Update.

We seem to have conquered the sleepless nights with her by using a contolled crying technique.
We are being much more assertive and telling her she cannot have water in the middle of the night and this means that she sleeps through now (3 days and counting).

As for the feeding, we are trying not to make fuss anymore.
Leaving her with the plate and acting like it isn't a big deal if she eats or not.

By restricting her fluid intake she is not eating more, but she seems to eat more of her last meal of the day - which can only be good for sleeping.

If we attend a playgroup, all the other kids will eat and she will play with her toys.
She is 3 on Friday and still under 20lb, I think my 7 month Daughter was officially heavier than her last week.

We have won the battle over sleeping, we just need to persist with the food.

Thank you to everyone for there feedback and advice.

Paul

SUESMITH_2

its so hard. my friends daughter was just the same and in the end my friend would dish up for the family and if she ate anything it was a bonus (and sometimes she wouldnt eat anything) - she would come to play with my kids and eat things she wouldnt even look at for her mum so if she had had a bad week i would ask her over and at least get some food into her. she is now 12 and finally putting on weight and eating better.

Kit_Kat_Kate

Hi my DD is 17months and has turned into a fussy eater. She has always eaten everything I have cooked. But has always been fussy with finger food not wanting to hold things that had a wet feel to it like fruit. She hates chewing meat.

She just wants to snack all day and soon as I put the dinner down she pushes it away! I don't know whats gone wrong. I m really starting to worry as she isn't eating much. She eats 2 wheetabix for breakfast no luch or dinner!

She gets so grumpy as she is hungry but I have been giving her her dinner and if she doesn't want it I just take her out off her highchair, she offen askes to go back in and I offer the same food. On the odd time she has eaten I have praised her and gave her a pudding...

I havn't forced the food thing thinking she will eat soon but its not getting any better! Any ideas?

I have tried to make mini sandwiches and things but she eats the bread and leaves the meat!

Should I give her some vitamins or omega3? If so whats best?

alwaysonthego_2

DD 1 was exactly like this and I had the same worries has you do now! Sh. e is nearly 4 and has a good diet now lol

I would not make it in to a big deal and ignore it. When you do make her meals, give her what you feed the family and if she doesn't eat it then do not give her dessert. Offer her fruit as part of a snack, not biscuits etc. Try her with smoothies. My dd's love raisins, dry ceriel as part of their snacks.

Try not to force her because this gives it attention then it will turn out to be a problem, try and ignore it because she will not starve herself!

tarajayne

After 5 kids I can tell you that this seems completely normal to me, that all seem to go through it at some point. I would give vitamins and not worry to much. You are doing absolutely the right thing, don't let it become an issue, keep offering small amounts, try to stick to what you are eating and always eat together. Make meal times light hearted, offer small pieces of fruit and such but I would just put it front of her and let her eat what she wants as she'll have it if she's hungry. Why not consider one of those chairs that attach on a normal seat. If she doesn't eat clear away, as for snacks, 10am and 3pm always seemed good for us, same again though, sit together. Most important, don't make it a battle ground as mealtimes are a great family time. Oh and something else that worked with one of mine, have tea parties with other little ones, they love to copy!