How to let go of the purse strings

Humboldt

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6663819/how-to-let-go-of-the-purse-strings

Hi @annielyn I can so relate to your post, having also had a savings mentality for many, many years. My DH now works part-time, I am retired and we both receive a work pension. Whilst we are not accounting for every penny, we do need to mindful about our expenditure until we both reach SP age. That said, we have savings that provide a buffer should we need more and can be used for fun things should we wish. I have to remind myself that life is short and there are no pockets in shrouds.

You have the money, you have justified the expenditure and you now have the time to really enjoy the new summerhouse and decking. Your money was no doubt hard earned, enjoy it!

uralmaid

We have always had a joint account. When we get paid (hubby's main pension) that is used for monthly expenses. Our state pensions go into a seperate account each and are used for "spends". Any large household item or anything to do with the cars comes out of the main account or the main savings account. Anything spent on hobbies etc we pay for from our "spends". Hubby spends his mainly on motorcycle related purchases. mine on the odd auction purchase of jewellery etc. Works well although if hubby makes a purchase I have to remind him to transfer the amount back into the current account.

Organgrinder

I must confess that even though I've not yet retired, I find it difficult to change my long held beliefs around things I consider commodities and/or my desire to feel I've got value for money. I cannot see this changing come September.

For example, I've recently booked some flights to Munich. I could pay £12 to sit in row 8 or £17 to sit in row 7 or £25 to sit 3 rows further back and get some extra leg room. But I don't see the point.

I think, for me, part of the issue is that when paying for some things I need to feel a tangible difference, something that feels like you're getting more.

I've recently booked a 6 day snowboarding holiday over the new year. Our hotel is right next to the ski bus, which is a 1 minute journey to the nearest slopes. Or we can take a drag lift as it is ski-in ski-out. The flights, hotel and transfer cost £800 in total. An absolute bargain. I suppose I could afford the £4,000 holidays but again I just can't see the point!

teresa54

It can take me literally hours to choose a Deliveroo/Just Eat shop. It's become a real grind. Buying anything involves vast research so I get the best value / greatest savings from each buy. Yet I've found myself buying too much even then. I've bought three watches, three pairs of winter boots, even more for my daughter because they were REAL bargains - Moda in Pelle had some great deals [found here] plus Debenhams were selling 3k watches for £240. I checked out all the makes and was glad I did, as one of them didn't have a good reputation and the one I did get is top class. But it all took hours. I'm lucky, I have two pensions, have savings for the first time in my life, was in debt three times, MSE helped A LOT, as did Stepchange. Now the buying three things, plus other buys and stuff arriving almost daily and cupboards getting too full to put anything new in without a big sort out, plus some pretty large purchases - car [after 10 years without one]/hobbies/allotment, needing a few thousand to set up, are starting to worry me.

So I'd say go cautiously; spending, after a long time of holding back, can become addictive!

Arctos

I've a superb Independent Financial Advisor. His annual review covers pretty much everything money-related, not only the investment we have with his company. The practice of an annual review has proved very helpful. Considerations include why are you saving/investing? Maybe better use any "excess" in a budgeted way rather than giving the state a bequest in the form of inheritance tax.

Consideration for the environment is perhaps important. Buying clothes, food etc as well as travel does not mean always the lowest price, but avoiding waste.

As we age health may require more intervention. Much as the NHS has been very good for me, a long waiting list for procedures which are often age-related can be avoided by "going private". I don't like that, but when quality of life is impaired by delay the private option may be pragmatic. It's not cheap, though!

annielyn

I'm finding that spending is about balancing needs and wants with also making sure we still have enough for any unforeseen situations.

I'd like to start getting rid of some of the 'clutter' we've accumulated over the years, just need to get my OH on board with that. Since retirement I am trying to adopt a one in, one out policy for things like new clothes purchases and other non-essentials. We already have all we need unless anything breaks and needs replacing.

It's harder to spend on the big purchases and see the bank balances go down when we've spent our working lives trying to make them go the other way. Our financial advisor also says 'what are you saving for' and we've always said its for home improvements to make our home lives a little easier and more enjoyable as we get older.

So now we are older I need to put my money where my mouth is!

Anyway, our garden currently looks like a builders yard but I'm assured that within a couple of weeks we will have a lovely new summerhouse and decking so I'm trusting the process.

Then will come the enjoyable part of fitting it out and deciding how to furnish it,

Albermarle

Interestingly there is an IFA who posts regularly on various MSE forums, but mainly the Pensions one.

I remember him saying once that with many clients, it is not about persuading them to save/invest more etc, but to actually spend some of it !

Murphybear

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81959851#Comment_81959851

Care homes can be eyewateringly expensive as I found out recently. My 79 year old brother is in a care home permanently with Alzheimer’s. His wife had power of attorney and managed everything that needed managing then to the shock of everyone she had a stroke and died 3 days later. I will be taking everything on but was shocked to find the cost of the care home. It’s £1600 a week and that’s quite usual. Social Services are paying and will be reimbursed when the house is finally sold but it’s in a really really bad condition now.

I visited him recently, I was scared that he wouldn’t recognise me but when I went in with his social worker he looked at me and said “are you my sister”.

Sorry to hijack this a bit

Vitor

I'd look at monthly income and spend 110% of that so you're getting the benefit of savings to improve your lifestyle while you can.

annielyn

It's a juggling act managing what you are spending now against what your future needs may be.

It seems to me that whilst we are in the early retirement years, relatively healthy and able to do more, our spending will be higher than in later years when we may be more restricted. We need to make the most of this time while we can I think.

The thought of funding long term residential care is worrying but in our family none of our parents have needed this. My mother managed at home with help from me until she died aged 88 . My MIL, aged 90, is still very independently living at home with just some support from us with shopping, gardening and taking to appointments etc.

So, while future care costs do need to be considered, they shouldn't stop you enjoying life while you can. My thinking is if we require long term care in the future this will be financed by our property. Our son is not expecting a large inheritance and wants us to make the most of our retirement while we can.