How to let go of the purse strings

annielyn

I'm sure there have been many discussions on this subject before, and, after having a saving mentality all my working life, I'm trying to tell myself its ok to start spending now.

It's not easy to change the habits of a lifetime but I'm no longer accounting for every penny.

However, we are about to make our first big purchase since reaching SP age, Composite Decking and a Custom Summerhouse, and I find myself trying to justify the expense even though we had budgeted for some home improvements when we retired.

I know we'll get the use out of them, we've had a basic summerhouse since we moved in 22 years ago which was well used but is now in need of replacement. The decking we put down ourselves at the same time is also now dangerous and not fit for purpose. (See I'm still trying to justify it!)

Maybe this will always be my mindset but it would be nice to be able to enjoy spending our savings instead of feeling like we should keep it just in case. You can't take it with you after all.

Anyone else have this problem?

twopenny

Ah yes I found the same thing. Really hard to change.

I still sought out bargain holidays and stuff for the house.

Enjoy it and rest easy. The next step is saving again to pay for help in the home and gardeners not to mention care 😉

Lazy_Panda

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6663819/how-to-let-go-of-the-purse-strings

I'd say spend it and enjoy it especially after a long run on saving diligently. I'm in the reverse now reducing the spending and trying to improve the saving. Trying to find that happy medium - enjoy the summerhouse.

maman

My view is that you don't need to stop being a mse and spend at the same time.

If the summer house and decking is something you know you'll use then go ahead and just be sure you're getting the best deal you can.

I find that I can save even more since leaving work as I've more time to shop around and cook from scratch. I can get cheaper holidays by not having to go at peak school holiday times. I don't have to buy formal clothes for work or pay for commuting. There are many examples.

Provided you're not using up all your savings on the home improvements, then I'd go ahead.

Albermarle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6663819/how-to-let-go-of-the-purse-strings

Yes there have been many discussions on this subject, especially on the Pensions board. It is a common issue for people who have made efforts to save, add to pensions, look for bargains etc to find it difficult to switch to a spending mode.

My own thoughts for what they are worth is that someone is not going to change their personality, just because they retire. So it is just not sensible that suddenly you stop looking at the prices in the supermarket, restaurant, shops etc and start flashing the cash like there was no tomorrow. It would be out of character and no doubt would make you feel uncomfortable.

However in my experience, making an expenditure on something solid you will enjoy, starts to become easier. I do not see any problem in justifying it to yourself, as long as you go ahead with it.

 The decking we put down ourselves at the same time is also now dangerous and not fit for purpose. 

So if you can afford to replace it and do not. Then somebody might fall through it and badly hurt themselves. So replacing it is not even a luxury, but a necessity. So that is the justification !

Brie

I've been having this same issue and have begun to worry I'm turning into my mother. She had lots of £££ but would buy things on sale and then not be happy with what she had bought. Example: she'd walk into a shop with trousers in her size, perfect fit, selling for £200. Instead of buying those she'd get something vaguely similar off the sale rack for £20 that didn't fit. She'd take that home and narrow the legs, shorten, take off the waist band, redo the zip, put some darts in the back etc etc etc. She was an excellent tailor but she'd not be happy with the result, redo some of the work, wear a couple of times, redo again and at this point the item would be to overworked to be saved.

I've been trying to justify to myself that I might have more than 1 pair of shoes that fit properly (difficult to fit) and that to achieve this I might need to pay more than £30!!! Similar issues with food - why do I look in the discounted section at the supermarket? It's fine if I'm buying stuff that I like anyways but why make do when I don't have to??

It's a struggle.

Nebulous2

I retired early with a DB pension, but quickly took a part-time job. We have money to help bridge the gap to the state pension, but have been reluctant to spend it.

Strangely the big ticket items are often easier than the mundane, daily costs.

We can persuade ourselves to spend on a leisure vehicle, but grudge the current price of fuel and the cost of caravan sites. We would rather go to Spain and swallow the cost of getting there, so we can save £20 a night on campsites!

I have an eye for a bargain, and like pursuing a deal. Some of the offers on my credit card, with a percentage of cashback definitely tip the balance. We recently stayed on a campsite, where there was a restaurant we quite like nearby. My credit card was offering 10% cashback, so we ate there twice. If it hadn't been for that cashback we would only have gone once.

So yes - people are complicated, and one of the most difficult things anyone can do is change themselves. If you have been very careful while accumulating resources, then changing that to let go can be very challenging.

Smudgeismydog

Whilst this won’t necessarily help with spending on the big ticket items, my partner and I sit with a pen and paper once a month to review our finances. I provide an overview of what we spent the previous month, and we talk about any ad hoc costs we have on the horizon, and confirm how they will be funded.

We both also pay a monthly amount into our joint account (to cover all household bills, including groceries, petrol, coffee shop trips/lunch/dinner out), and personal accounts which covers our personal spends. We do not need to defend, justify or explain what we’ve spent from our personal accounts.

This approach has definitely helped me move from a lifelong saver. I recognise that I would find it much harder to just draw from accumulated capital as and when I needed it, my tendency has always been to preserve / grow my accumulated savings.

Yorkie1

The decking we put down ourselves at the same time is also now dangerous and not fit for purpose.

Don't do what I did, and wait until your foot goes through the rotted decking plank (twice 😯), before replacing it! 😁

GrubbyGirl_2

I am the same - or rather was! I retired at 60 on a very good DB pension which goes up each year by inflation. Because I am no longer working I simply don't have the expenses I used to have and am able to save more than I did when working. But after a lifetime of saving and never having debt except a mortgage I have a lovely paid for house and healthy savings amounts, but I still can't help looking for a bargain even though I can pretty much afford whatever I want. I actually don't see a problem with that and I also do have to be careful about the future as I live alone and don't have any family so I know I am going to have to pay for care at some point in the future.

However, I have made one change which is already having an impact. My DB pension I am treating exactly the same. When it's paid into my current account I remove all bar £1,000 (to cover all my bills and food) and the rest goes into savings. At the beginning of the year I started to receive my state pension. I decided to have this paid into a different current account and this is now my "fun" money to spend however I want and on whatever I want and because I know that anything I spend from that account is not impacting my regular spending or saving. I've bought art work I never would have dreamed of before and I often treat my friends to lunch which is especially nice as they are not on the same position as me.

So, maybe create your own "fun" account which you can use to pay for things that are nice to have rather than necessary to have (though it does sound like you decking is a necessity!).

annielyn

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81960490#Comment_81960490

Yes the decking is definitely a necessity so that's the way I'm processing it.

We had always paid both of our incomes into a joint account over our working life and all expenses were paid from here whatever they were for. When we both reached SP we did change the way we dealt with our finances slightly and opened a current account each into which our monthly 'spending' money is deposited, The idea of this was exactly as you mentioned, that this would be our 'fun' money which we could spend as we please. This has worked well so far so we'll keep this up.

Its a case of adapting to suit a changing lifestyle I think.

Anyway, the decking and summerhouse are being taken down tomorrow so no going back now!