Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay for repairs to my fiancé's house in return for joint ownership?

Cimscate

@Jemma01 I understand your comments but personally prefer to answer the actual question and offer suggestions rather than criticise and speculate on things I've not been asked

Novice_saver

I have been in a similar situation, we were not engaged, we lived in my house, while his stood empty, for over 2 years. He couldn't rent it out due to the modernisation required, he wanted me to help pay for modernisation, as he couldn't afford it on his own. I asked him to show me his divorce papers to check for a financial order, all good, but when I asked to see proof of ownership, turned out it still belonged to his parents! I would be very wary, if the property is mortgage free, he could take out a minimal mortgage for repairs? If he is not able to get a mortgage, do you want to be financially linked? If he has been living mortgage free & doesn't have any savings that would also concern me. Let him put the house in joint names & then maybe consider contributing to repairs.

sheramber

You assume the OPtrusts her fiance.

if she does, why is she asking strangers on a forum whay she should do?

JayD

MS888 Said

"There are two "amber" flags:

1. If your partner cannot afford to put aside any savings or maintain the property now and he's not even needing to use any of his income for rent or mortgage, what makes you think he will be in any better position to maintain it after you've moved in and married? If your boiler breaks down in winter or your roof starts leaking, you'll have to fix it immediately, especially if you have tenants.
2. Have you seen a survey report that details all the faults and seen written quotes (not estimates) for the repairs? You can be fairly certain that there will be further mundane repairs and maintenance to do over time, before you even think about the interesting nice-to-see stuff. Costs can often escalate due to unforeseen problems, so you would need to budget for some contingency."

I'd add that there are also 3 RED flags!

1. Why don't you trust him, or feel comfortable enough to ask him for proof?
2. Where is his money all going - and why would he not be willing to share the costs and to put the house in joint names without any financial conditions applied to you?
3. If it is such need of repair - and if you are both considering selling it anyway - why doesn't he just sell it off and use the money towards renting his own flat - or move in with you and use the money towards your wedding?

bikaga

Do you have a reason to believe he doesn't own it?

How are you paying for a wedding if he cannot afford to fix his house?

You say it's "thousands" - does he have quotes from reputable builders?

It all sounds a bit worrying tbh - at the very least it sounds like you might want to think twice before joining finances with this guy or planning a family. Definitely make sure all the paperwork is in place.

oldtrout

All made up, as usual

FrednGinger

A few years go my sister in law was in a relationship with someone, they had their own houses. He asked her to lend him £250,000 saying he would repay her once he'd sold his house. The relationship finished shortly after. He's still in his house and she has never seen a penny of her money.

highlander58

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81945742#Comment_81945742

Agree. And ‘out of the frying pan, into the fire’!

There’s no ‘gift horse’ here, @Bonnypitlad - just a money pit of a house & a relationship without honesty or trust.
Steer well clear of both, is my advice!

IvonH

Do this via a solicitor, so you are covered. Get legal advice re value of the house and set a limit on the amount to fix it up. That should also make it obvious who is the present owner.

I don't think this is a "if you don't trust him…" situation as some have mentioned on here. Covering legalities is important. While you are at it, get advice about being joint tenants or tenants in common.

For you, this may be a way of getting on the housing ladder as your flat is rented.

patricial

I agree wholeheartedly that you shouldn't contemplate marrying or financing someone you can't trust.