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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay for repairs to my fiancé's house in return for joint ownership?

24

Comments

  • alri08
    alri08 Posts: 31 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic

    Do you have any desire to take on all the work of a big home renovation project? Don't do it just because he wants you to. As above, houses that need work can be a money pit.

    If it were me, I would prefer to buy our own place jointly after we marry, a property that suits us that we choose together.

  • Don’t marry someone who you can’t have a normal conversation with.
    Have you thought to ask him for proof?

    He obviously was bold enough to ask you to contribute, but I’d also be concerned about his overall financial situation and his reason for asking.

    If you’re struggling with this sensible question, then when things get really difficult, you’re doomed.

    Please take care of yourself. Delay marriage until you’re both financially stable and many more questions have been asked.

  • Cimscate
    Cimscate Posts: 148 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker

    It's a tricky situation with someone you love and,presumably, trust. Perhaps suggest to him that he sells the property and you can then put the money towards a house you both like and can afford joint repayments. His reaction will also tell you how he feels about the situation.

  • Jemma01
    Jemma01 Posts: 742 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 1 April at 9:10AM

    Most of us here are failing to see the "trust" part, and even less, the "communication" and "transparency" parts; essential foundations to a lasting marriage. How is it that this guy has no money when he's living in his own place rent-free? Hasn't he fixed anything for his own sake? Does OP know where his money goes, being his fiancée? Is there open communication about finances? Is he a gambler? Is he drowning in debt? Is he very poor with money management? Is he unemployed!? Where's his money?

    I appreciate that posts like this are very brief; it gets you questioning the whole marriage!

    I'm FTB, not an expert, all my comments are from personal experience and not a professional advice.
    Mortgage debt start date 11/2024 = 175k (5.19%)... Q1/2026 = PAID (3.94%)
  • Ed264
    Ed264 Posts: 169 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts

    Mortgage-free yet has no savings? You haven't stated if he's working or not. Assuming he is, where's his money going? I'd be cautious here, to say the least.

  • And you are going to marry this man?!

  • Alswife
    Alswife Posts: 6 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary Photogenic Combo Breaker First Post

    What concerns me here is that your fiance is mortgage free yet has no money or savings. Where does his money go? I'd think very carefully about entering into this venture and if you decide to go ahead consult a solicitor. Gook luck.

  • Lowry1986
    Lowry1986 Posts: 19 Forumite
    10 Posts Second Anniversary

    Moving to joint ownership is a legal process obviously requiring proof of ownership of your finance. Get yourself to a solicitor before doing anything or commiting your money.

  • Tim11111000111
    Tim11111000111 Posts: 62 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Posts

    The way you've phrased the question - the fact that you're even asking the question - is a massive red flag for me.

    On the face of it, spending a few thousand pounds on repairs in order to become a joint owner of a house worth potentially hundreds of thousands is the bargain of a lifetime. The fact that it is not an obvious decision for you speaks volumes.

    You're planning on marrying this man, but you think he might be lying to you about owning the house? That feels like a pretty fundamental trust issue. You can always just buy a copy of the deeds from the Land Registry for a few quid if you want.

    Or maybe the problem is you don't want to live with him/don't want to live in that house (even if done up)/don't want to commit to the time and energy of managing a major renovation project. Those are all valid reasons, but the solution is to have a serious conversation with your fiancé, not just deflect from the real issues.

    I also thing it's a bit concerning that he lives in this house completely free - no mortgage or rent - and yet he can't afford to do the repairs himself. Where is his money going?

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