Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask friends to pay for a meal when I might have said it was my treat?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks…

I recently went to a few pubs with some old friends, then to our favourite Indian restaurant. I had a great time but have little recollection of getting home [pls be Drinkaware]. I assumed we'd split the food bill, but I've found the receipt and I paid it all. I'd have no problem asking for their share, but I'm not sure if, in my merry state, I said the meal was on me! Do I ask them and risk looking a numpty if I said I'd pay? Or say nothing and risk having treated them without them being able to remember?

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flaneurs_lobster

If you were so drunk that you can't remember what was said, agreed or getting home then having to take the hit of the cost of a meal is the least of your worries.

El_Torro

Depends on how good friends you are with these old friends. If it were me, and they were close friends, I'd probably just be up front and say that you genuinely don't remember what happened and that you find it odd that you paid the whole bill. At that point they should offer to cover their share but if they don't (again, it depends on how friendly you are with these people) I'd ask them to pay, if that's the outcome I was looking for.

It also depends on how affordable this is. If it's not going to cause you any financial hardship then you might want to shrug it off as a lesson learned.

Woodstok2000

Are you 100% sure they didn't give you cash, and you spent it in the lapdancing bar on the way home?

twopenny

Well if you had announced that you'd pay for their meals you would expect to remember them saying how kind and generous you were even if you can't remember what you said.

Is there a chance that everyone paid a share and you just handed it in and received the receipt? It's not going to go down well if that's the case and you question them.

MSE_Kelvin

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908054#Comment_81908054

😂😂😂

CapeTown

In vino veritas

gothvixen

The judgement in some responses is unnecessary. Thinking you're a better person for only ever being moderate is incorrect. If you've never woken up wondering what happened the night before then your experiences have been limited, whether you think that's good or bad, but I know which sort of life I prefer. I would speak to my closest friend from the group, probably asking if I'd said I'd pay, but you could say something like, "I have to admit I'm cloudy on the details, what happened once we were at the restaurant?"

Agent57

Put it down to experience and learn your lesson.

liselle

What makes you think that they would remember, if you didn’t…….

PennysIntoPounds

It's lovely that you and your mates had a good night together. Presumably one if not all of them would at some point in the days afterwards have said 'do you want cash or bank transfer' so if it's all on your card and you don't have any unexpected cash in your bag/pockets, then either you offered to pay or you need to replace all your friends.

I expect they all got you several drinks in to 'repay' hence the haziness! No, you can't ask for them to pay now unless it would mean you not being able to meet essential costs.

A good sesh with pals is priceless, just have the occasional glug of tap water next time 🍻