Partner not contributing to house expenses. Is it fair?

Jemma01

I think at this point and after 25years, the conversation is probably overdue. I would turn the conversation to future planning, what will happen if either of you passes away given you both aren't married.

I understand that he was getting an income from his flat that's in a cash form, but you were building equity in the house that hopefully appreciated in value. Just because he gets cash flow to his hand, doesn't make your house investment a bad deal.

It's not clear to me why he stopped paying his rent since it is your house and you don't owe him a free living (regardless of being mortgage free, if he lives in his flat, he wouldn't have the extra income). He still needs to contribute to bills and for living in your house.

HedgehogRulez

if you’re a family unit does it matter? Odd way to consider your lives together!

Unless you’re planning on splitting up?

Exodi

Is there a reason you have both chosen to keep your finances separate and remain unmarried for 25 years with children involved? I guess it's immaterial.

I can see why both would be frustrated in this arrangement. You feel he is taking advantage of you, he may feel that even after all this time you consider the relationship between you as transactional.

In either case, really he should be sharing the proceeds of the rental income - I don't see any justification that he should not while simultaneously making no acknowledgement of the benefit living in the house you mostly own. You might want to suggest moving into the flat he is renting out, and then renting out the big house you mostly own, where you get to keep 94% of the rent and he gets to keep 6%. You will pay him no rent on the flat of course, because he owns it. I suspect he suddenly wouldn't like the taste of his own medicine.

What's the longer term plan?

poseidon1

On past indications doubtful the OP will return to this thread any time soon, so the legitimate observations may well go unnoticed/unheeded.

MayDogsandCoffee

You posted about inequality in 2011 but have stayed with the relationship. It is unlikely anything will change.