Partner not contributing to house expenses. Is it fair?

woodledoodle · 4 February at 6:03PM

I've been with my partner for about 25 years and we have a grown up child between us who lives away. He moved into my house after our child was born and since then we've moved house twice. Before I fell pregnant I owned my own house and had a lodger to help with the mortgage. He owned his own flat that was mortgaged.

After he moved in with me, he rented out his flat and we shared the bills of my house between us, plus any other expenses to do with family or house. When our child was 4 my mum died, and with the inheritance we moved to a bigger house and shared a mortgage 50/50, although I owned a larger proportion of the house as I put the proceeds of the old house sale into the new house, plus about 20K inheritance. My partner carried on renting out his flat.

10 years ago my dad died, and with a substantial inheritance, we could afford to buy a larger house, mortgage free. I paid off the mortgage and for the last 8 years my partner continued to pay his share of the old mortgage to me, meaning that he now has a 6% share in the new house. The mortgage was arranged to finish when he was 75, so as he turned 75 2 months ago, he no longer pays me anything, except his share of the bills. He still rents out his flat and pays the bills associated with the flat by himself. I have nothing to do with the flat.

To me, this feels unfair. I used all my inheritance on our house and so have a smaller monthly income than him, and the only reason he is able to rent out his flat is because he lives with me, albeit owning 6% of the house and sharing the bills. I feel that at least he should be sharing a proportion of his flat income with me - and I should contribute to the bills.

Am I being unreasonable? I'm struggling to formulate a good argument, but I just feel I'm being treated fairly, and haven't been for years. Any advice would be gratefully accepted.

Keep_pedalling · 4 February at 6:07PM

Do you have a deed of trust in place documenting the split in ownership?

itsthelittlethings · 4 February at 6:22PM

Does he keep all the income from the flat? That does seem a bit unfair. I think he should either pay you a share of the flat income or some form of “rent”. You’re sharing everything with him and he’s not sharing everything either you.

Savvy_Sue · 4 February at 6:28PM

Radical, I know, but … talk to him?

You could frame it as part of a larger discussion about the future, LPAs, your wills, IHT planning and pensions.

You realise that on the first death, the estate may well be subject to IHT - no idea what either of your estates will be worth, of course, but moving twice to a larger house would seem to indicate a house valued in excess of £325k. You are not married, so NOTHING you leave to each other above that amount is IHT free. If you were married, or in a Civil Partnership, EVERYTHING you leave to each other is IHT free. Someone better informed than me will explain what happens if you are Joint Tenants, when the whole ownership of the house passes to the other on death, BUT if he only has a 6% stake in the house it sounds as if you would be Tenants in Common.

I don't know how old you are (and that's not essential information), but a bit of What Iffing might not go amiss. If he dies first, nothing much may change. If you die first, he might find things very much changed. I'm sure you'd both want to make provision for your child in your wills, but what's that going to look like? You do have wills? If not, on the first death, all of that estate goes to your child …

And you do have LPAs? If not, either of you may be in a pretty big mess if the other becomes incapacitated for any reason. The alternative - applying to be a Deputy - takes even longer, is more expensive, and has more hoops to jump through on an ongoing basis.

born_again · 4 February at 6:59PM

I paid off the mortgage and for the last 8 years my partner continued to pay his share of the old mortgage to me, meaning that he now has a 6% share in the new house. The mortgage was arranged to finish when he was 75, so as he turned 75 2 months ago, he no longer pays me anything, except his share of the bills.

Look at the bold.

Think of that in the way you are thinking about what they are paying now (sharing bills) Wonder how they feel about that & may be the real issue.

So you are not happy that they are only paying for share of bills. Yet were happy for them to pay their share of a paid off mortgage for 8 years.🤷‍♀️

What more do you want them to pay? Seems like 2 single people sharing living in a house, not a lasting relationship😒