Settling in for the long haul

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Well done on the car boot, that’s a good amount to sell. What a great idea to have a charity stall.

We used to have 6 banks on our high street, now there’s only one. We bank with M0nzo anyway, so doesn’t bother us. But I feel sorry for people who need/want a high street branch.

Dakota_Rose

It has been a very lazy Tuesday in the Dakota household. We haven’t been out or done anything of note but at least that means money hasn’t been spent.

I did eventually get around to some money-sensible things:

• Listed some leftover car boot sale items on marketplace (mainly as Little Miss is desperate to save enough for an iPad and was asking me to help her with her items)
• Opened a bank account online for Little Miss (easier than eldest’s due to her age and still being linked to my account)
• Caught up on my work emails for an hour (can’t spend money when I’m working)
• Made a yummy chicken curry with leftover roast chicken from Sunday
• Completed a brisk 30-minute walk on the walking pad after dinner (counting this as money sensible as I can’t spend money if I’m walking 😂)
• Started listening to the Harry Potter full cast audio book, which I’ve downloaded free as part of our A music subscription

I’m not sure why, but I struggle to get along with audio books. I’m a lover of books and absolutely adored listening to adults tell/read stories as a child. My mind wanders when I’m listening to them and I find I’ve missed a chunk of story out while I’ve been making mental lists or thinking through other things. I’ll persevere though!

I am going to have to think of some ways to make going back to work feel a bit more positive. I don’t have the excited nervousness I usually get at this time of year and I think this is a result of a really stressful year due to both work demands and perimenopause. If I could find a way to stay at home (or run away to that cabin in the woods) I think I really would!

No good thinking like that as I then berate myself for not having more in place to build financial freedom. We’re miles away from being car-loan-free, and hundreds of miles away from being mortgage-free. We have an emergency fund but little savings. This is the reality I know, but it feels so negative to see it this way when we have so very much to be grateful for and a life that others in the world could only hope for. I suppose it’s human nature to always want more than you have and it’s good to have aspirations/dreams. Just need to keep moving forward.

Dakota_Rose

Today will include a visit to Mum’s and taking her to the shops for some groceries. She is making a picnic bag to take on our steam train day out, which will keep us going on the long day around the fish and chips lunch we have planned.

Other than that, it’ll be bits and bobs around the house but little else. Have a good humpday all.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I can’t get on with audiobooks either, I get distracted. I do love a podcast though 😁

I think it’s quite normal to feel a bit trapped in a role due to lack of financial freedom. I think if we could all choose to work, we’d enjoy it more

FootyFanDan

I’m pretty much the same with audiobooks, it’s like I’m listening but don’t really take it in as much as physical reading. I can sit and watch / listen to YouTube and podcasts all day though 🤣

Blackcats

I found that when I started to feel ready to give up work I set myself mini goals as stepping stones along the way. It gave me a sense of purpose, a sense of being in control of the progress to the next stepping stone and most of all a sense of hope that it could be done. I found my notebook the other day where I wrote a motivational quote every month and listed my progress. The notebook had "she believed she could so she did" on the front cover. I made it into my version of a journal with stickers, different colour pens, stencils, quotes etc. it was fun looking back through it and realising that each little step did take me closer to my goal.

And it's not all or nothing - I went part time to start with. Perhaps you and/or DH might find some side hustles?

Dakota_Rose

Thanks for your thoughts all. @Blackcats that is a lovely suggestion and I can see how that would have been really motivating. The issue I have is that I still really love parts of my job and I know I am good at it. It’s important and I make a difference that matters to people. But, I’ve been there for around 20 years now and the responsibility has grown over that time meaning that things are heavy at times. I’m also really perimenopausal and I think that’s distorting my view of things and making my anxiety peak whereas I used to be able to take things in my stride more. I so want to find the joy in my work again - and stop panicking that it’s unsustainable.

Step 1 has to be working to balance my hormones so that any decision I make is rational.

Step 2 is definitely having possible ‘exit strategies’ in case I need them in the future and to stop me feeling so stuck. This might be starting to look at what other options might be out there for me - something I have never done.

Step 3 - keep building financial stability by paying down the car loan and mortgage and adding to the savings.

And of course, keep finding joy in every day. I appreciate my life so much and love my family, home and belongings. I am a very fortunate person who just feels they’ve reached a stage where a simpler, less stressful life is needed.

PS I’m having a midlife crisis urge to acquire a camper van or holiday home. Any recommendations for get rich quick schemes welcome 😂!!! For now, I’ll plod on with my little dreams pot in premium bonds - you never know, someone has to win.

Rhyddid2026

Ha! you sound like me today!

FootyFanDan

I must be having one of those midlife crisis thingy's too..as I absolutely want a camper van…even though I neither the space nor the money for one right now 😂.

Dakota_Rose

We had a great day out this week on our steam train adventure and the kids had a blast. It was a really long day so a few extra provisions by the way of two tea rounds (including hot chocolates for the eldest two) and fish and chips for all were appreciated. We came in slightly above budget but we weren’t frivolous and didn’t buy unnecessary tat so I don’t feel too bad about that.

Today is payday and the money shuffle has taken place. The slight overspend from yesterday has been righted and although there’s money in the sinking funds, they’re a bit tighter than I’d like them to be. We’re about to see a string of birthdays on the run up to Christmas, which is our most expensive time along with the summer holidays.

All that is left on the holiday agenda now is home haircuts for the boys and a swimming session for youngest. Next week, we’ll mostly be preparing ourselves for returning to work and school and getting the house in order. I have really loved being off work and feel very well rested and reset for now. I’d like to give my home spreadsheets a review before I go back to work to make sure our savings/sinking funds are on track.

Littlest has his birthday in September and he really wants a party in the village hall. We’re firm supporters of a home birthday tea but we’re making an exception this year due to the happiness we know it’ll bring him. Still, this is turning out spendier than I would like (we’re catering for a class of children) so Mr D and I are in damage limitation mode with it and have chatted through how to keep the cost sensible. The hall was booked and paid for a while ago, my mum has been a godsend and bought party decorations and accessories in his chosen theme, and a lovely children’s entertainer has been booked and half paid for already. We have food, party bags and a cake to account for now and I’m determined to keep costs down on these things. Also, his birthday gifts from us will be small things rather than the usual birthday budget we set aside for the kids.

Today, we have some online sales being collected by the postie, and another for Little Miss being collected in person. A 4-day food shop is needed and we have petrol & a few home spends items to pick up.

Happy Friday all 😊