Settling in for the long haul

Dakota_Rose

After avidly reading others’ diaries over the past five years, it feels like the right time to shuffle in and create a cosy little corner of my own. 

Following the example of those much wiser, I have cleared a large amount of debt, including a hefty overdraft, student loan, credit cards, bank loans (that were consolidated several times) and overpaid a small shared ownership mortgage so as to have a large enough deposit to put down on our forever home. The diaries on this forum have quite honestly changed my life after a fair few years of (admittedly self-inflicted) hardship.

We have become much better at managing our money over time, starting out with a zero-based budget, which continues to work really well for us, and envelope stuffing for savings, which is no longer particularly helpful. We are now fortunate enough to have a more comfortable lifestyle but still need to save for home improvements, holidays and anything else that is to come in the future. We have very little savings to speak of and this keeps us in a vulnerable position. It feels as though our pots empty as fast as we can fill them, with summer and Christmas holidays being our biggest spending points. A zero-based budget is effective but has a way of making you feel perpetually poor! 

I am the sole earner and live at home with my lovely husband, who is a stay-at-home dad, resident caretaker, chef, mechanic and all round good guy. My work is a labour of love: highly challenging and rewarding in equal measure. We live in a home we love, albeit with a few significant improvements needed, along with our three gorgeous, quirky children and daft dog. 

Over time my salary has increased fairly significantly. However, this is stretched with outgoings for a family our size, a home that seems to be constantly in need of repair and lots of hopes for a good future. As it stands, we have a personal loan for our cars (both pre-loved but new to us) and mortgage, both of which we are making very small overpayments on each month. We live simply, with low entertainment costs, but prefer to ‘buy once, buy right’ for things we need/want. 

It’s definitely going to be an ongoing slog to get to where we want to be financially, hence why I’ve settled myself in here for the long haul. I’m looking forward to writing my diary, if only to appreciate the small wins along the way. 

I do not expect many will read along with me, but if you have found yourself here and made it to this point - thank you. 

Dakota_Rose

January is a month I find hard so am reminding myself to look for the happy moments of every day.  

Positives to report: 

Two items sold online (£7.50 made, two items finding a new home).

Back to work (some productivity) after two weeks of overindulgence.

Budget is set for the months ahead. (Just hoping April doesn’t hit too hard with price rises) 

Decided to rejig savings pots to front-fill the holiday pot and delay starting the Christmas pot. They’ll both end up with the planned amount in but I need to see the benefit of one moving up quickly to motivate me I think. 

Feeling grateful for: 

Seeing supportive colleagues after the Christmas break, feeling the same way I do but with a smile on their faces - always cheers me up 

Coming home each evening to a family that are happy to see me. I know it won’t last forever, but I love that the children are at the front door with a cuddle waiting for me as I get out of the car. 

Changing into my ‘cosies’ and snuggling under the heated blanket with a cuppa - it’s the law to do this within 15 minutes of being home 😂. 

Sitting around the table each evening together with a meal cooked by MrD, even if the conversation has mainly centred around how little effort eldest is putting into their coursework currently. 

I may not have many pounds in the bank, or many free minutes to enjoy outside of work again, but I have such a lot to be grateful for.  

Rhyddid2026

Welcome! It sounds like you have quite a few positives there.
My dogs are happy to see me come home from work, if they haven't come with me 😄

Dakota_Rose

@Rhyddid2026 you’ve got to love them! It’s fab that you can take yours with you - wouldn’t get a thing done if my dog came to work. She is such a daft thing (think dog version of Dory the fish) and a big girl that thinks she’s still a pup. 

Dakota_Rose

Nothing much new to report today. 

It has been a challenging week at work but tomorrow is Friday, and things always feel more manageable on a Friday. 

One online sale payment has come through so that’s £4 sent to my daughter’s saving pot (her item sold) and will add the next £3.50 to my little boy’s saving pot when that comes though. 

Am waiting to see if the promised cashback processes for Mr D’s life insurance policy we’ve taken out. That will be great if so, as should be over £100. When applying, the comparison company also mentioned a £100 gift card for buying through them, so we shall see! 

I also opened a credit card advertised on the weekly email before Christmas, just for planned spends, which should bring us a £25 gift card. 

It’s been ages since we’ve had any bonuses such as these, so I will be very grateful if they come through. 

Dakota_Rose

Despite waking early feeling very anxious, It has been a good day to end the week. I do suffer with anxiety and have worked really hard over the years to make it more manageable. Working in a high pressure job means I will always have the opportunity to feel anxious if I allow it. It was something I considered deeply before deciding to apply for the position. I’m good at it and it brings me so much joy. Lots of support from loved ones and nourishing actions help me get through so I just need to make time for them!

I am grateful for the weekend and am looking forward to a restful day tomorrow. Lots of snuggles, reading a good book and some quality time with the children is called for. 

Regularly, after a stressful week at work, I like to think I would be perfectly content with an off-grid lifestyle and New Lives in the Wild is my absolute favourite programme to watch for escapism. Although I do genuinely love the simple pleasures in life, I probably also enjoy the odd luxury a little too much for it to ever be a reality. Perhaps a ‘new life in the wild, close to amenities and living in a luxury lodge’ would be a more accurate description of my life’s ambition!

Reviewed credit card and mortgage balances now this month’s payments have come out and was pleased to see that the loan was just £16.01 off the next thousand threshold. Mr D has transferred me the money from his personal spends to make an extra overpayment. Every little helps!

RedLipstick

Welcome to the forum and good luck with your journey, will be following. I'm also very much "in the wild but close to amenities" kind, thankfully I've found a decent spot in the city, close to amenities, parks and cycling paths so can't complain but I get what you mean, I'm also in a very demanding role and sometimes wonder what life could look like if I was just having a slow life outside of the city. Probably not my thing though lol! All the best in 2026 xx

Dakota_Rose

@RedLipstick thanks for stopping by - I’ll return the visit. Definitely some similarities there! Most of the time I’m really content with my lot, and I’m sure the balance is right for me, but there are days when that cabin in the woods is calling me 🤣  

I do live a little further from work now. Not far enough for the commute to be a problem but far enough away to feel like I can have my professional and personal life separate. Works for me! 

Wishing you all the best for the year ahead too x

Dakota_Rose

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when we sit and list what needs doing at home and how much that realistically will cost. That alongside building up the emergency fund and trying to bring down the mortgage and debt. 

So for now, I plan to maintain monthly overpayments of just £50 each to the mortgage and loan, then the plan is to fill the holiday and birthdays pots as soon as possible. A monthly amount will continue to be allocated to the car pot and easy access savings pot. When the holiday pot is full, the Christmas pot can restart. 

Our emergency fund was at £1000, but we needed to use this on unplanned electricity works on our old house. We had used a savings pot to pay for an EV charger outright. Unfortunately though, when they came to install it, it was clear our electric set-up wouldn’t cope with it, so new earthing and consumer unit was in order before they could go ahead. We could have pulled out that point, but it would have felt like sticking our heads in the sand as the electrics weren’t safe, so we bit the bullet and went ahead with the work. The EF is now back at £500 so it may stay there for the time being.  Hopefully, the savings we are making on electricity will soon start to pay off. 

An EF of 3/6 months’ of outgoings is not really realistic for us in the near future. My work is as secure as work can be and I do have a reasonable sick pay package (6 months full pay) so I think it’s okay to stick with the £1000. Others may advise differently though, and I’m open to this. 

In other savings, I have a mini-savings account which is locked and I just pop small amounts in from little wins such as online sales or surveys. When this opens, I’ll most likely use it for an overpayment on the mortgage or loan. I also save the child benefit payments we receive each month, knowing that we’ll be required to pay back a good chunk of them. This is in a regular saver so if nothing else, we will benefit from the interest payment when it’s time to send it back.

This diary is already bringing me a real sense of relief and clarity. Just having somewhere to document these thoughts is fab. Mr D listens well and is on board but I know I can be a bore talking about finances all the time. 

joedenise

Personally I wouldn't overpay either the mortgage or the loan while you have CC debt.  The loan will  probably be front loaded so you won't save much interest.  I would concentrate on building up your emergency fund to £1,000 (I've always found this to be enough).  It might be good to have 3/6 months once all debts have been paid - A nice to have not a necessity.

Once the debts have been paid off then is the time to overpay the loan if it hasn't already been paid off by that time and the mortgage.

Dakota_Rose

joedenise said:

Personally I wouldn't overpay either the mortgage or the loan while you have CC debt.  The loan will  probably be front loaded so you won't save much interest.  I would concentrate on building up your emergency fund to £1,000 (I've always found this to be enough).  It might be good to have 3/6 months once all debts have been paid - A nice to have not a necessity.

Once the debts have been paid off then is the time to overpay the loan if it hasn't already been paid off by that time and the mortgage.

Thank you for commenting 😊 I haven’t actually got any CC debt - the only debt I have is the loan and mortgage now. Sorry if I hadn’t made that clear. But perhaps getting the EF to £1000 should come before overpayments to these? 

I’ve recently remortgaged with a slightly lower fixed rate, saving £100 a month on repayments. I thought I ought to put this straight into overpayments rather than get used to the extra money in the bank. 

To be honest, I think I’m perhaps just trying to do too much, too soon!