Large income gap, would you expect the lower earning partner to still work for money?

silvercar

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

I would expect the partner to work to provide them with their own financial independence.  If I was B I wouldn't not work as I wouldn't want to be 100% reliant on someone else. 

Plus working means you build your own pension entitlements.

State pension is already maxed out and due in just a few years for Partner B. Sorry forgot to add. No young joint children either.

I'd still work, my own financial independence is very important to me.

If I was A I'd expect B to work to have their own financial independence. I'd not be willing to entertain a non working partner, especially in a situation without kids.... Even in a long relationship.

Maybe B could do more of the household chores, physical and admin. 

Also, maybe as a high earning household, you would like to contribute to society in some way, that could be predominantly done by partner B.

MinnieBin

silvercar said:

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

I would expect the partner to work to provide them with their own financial independence.  If I was B I wouldn't not work as I wouldn't want to be 100% reliant on someone else. 

Plus working means you build your own pension entitlements.

State pension is already maxed out and due in just a few years for Partner B. Sorry forgot to add. No young joint children either.

I'd still work, my own financial independence is very important to me.

If I was A I'd expect B to work to have their own financial independence. I'd not be willing to entertain a non working partner, especially in a situation without kids.... Even in a long relationship.

Maybe B could do more of the household chores, physical and admin. 

Also, maybe as a high earning household, you would like to contribute to society in some way, that could be predominantly done by partner B.

This would be my ideal solution too. Partner A works for money (it is not a job that makes the society better, some would argue even the exact opposite) and Partner B runs / contributes to a charity.

Emmia

silvercar said:

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

I would expect the partner to work to provide them with their own financial independence.  If I was B I wouldn't not work as I wouldn't want to be 100% reliant on someone else. 

Plus working means you build your own pension entitlements.

State pension is already maxed out and due in just a few years for Partner B. Sorry forgot to add. No young joint children either.

I'd still work, my own financial independence is very important to me.

If I was A I'd expect B to work to have their own financial independence. I'd not be willing to entertain a non working partner, especially in a situation without kids.... Even in a long relationship.

Maybe B could do more of the household chores, physical and admin. 

Also, maybe as a high earning household, you would like to contribute to society in some way, that could be predominantly done by partner B.

If partner A wants to "give back" they should do that themselves, not seek / rely on B doing it.

JGB1955

If I were B I would want to maintain my own income and 'escape fund'.  Happily married for almost 50 years but have always maintained an escape fund.

itsthelittlethings

I think it’s people’s individual choice what they do in relationships. You can’t make blanket rules.

Sam_666

Sounds like partner B is thinking to cash in chips and start enjoying freeloading.
What would happen if partner A loose job or become physically/mentally unable to work?
Or if partner A walks out from relationship?
Bet "I want kids" talk will be soon started by partner B.

jackieblack

Sam_666 said:

Bet "I want kids" talk will be soon started by partner B.

Unlikely IMO, as OP says B's State Pension is "due in just a few years"

kimwp

I think it's down to the couple in question, but if the well paid partner enjoys their job (or could earn less but still significantly in a job they enjoy), while the person earning less hates their job, it doesn't feel like a partnership. Would be interesting to know how the spends are split, pensions etc 

Brie

B could end up very lonely if they aren't working.  And having a "paycheque" does a lot for a person's self esteem.  But if money isn't an issue they should have the job they like rather than one they don't.  

sheramber

MinnieBin said:

HappyHarry said:

I would imagine if it was a long term
partnership, say 20+ years, then both partners would likely be able to agree on a sensible arrangement.

If this was a new relationship, I can imagine that many in partner A’s position might feel that partner B is freeloading.

Not 20+ years but living together for a year and dating for a few years.

As they’ve only been living together for a year B should be safeguarding their future and keep working. 

Living together 24/7 is different to dating and things can change.

Otherwise the two people concerned should be working out what suits them, regardless of what strangers on a forum think.