Large income gap, would you expect the lower earning partner to still work for money?

MinnieBin

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

Emmia

MinnieBin said:

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

I would expect the partner to work to provide them with their own financial independence.  If I was B I wouldn't not work as I wouldn't want to be 100% reliant on someone else. 

Plus working means you build your own pension entitlements.

MinnieBin

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

I would expect the partner to work to provide them with their own financial independence.  If I was B I wouldn't not work as I wouldn't want to be 100% reliant on someone else. 

Plus working means you build your own pension entitlements.

State pension is already maxed out and due in just a few years for Partner B. Sorry forgot to add. No young joint children either.

HappyHarry

I would imagine if it was a long term
partnership, say 20+ years, then both partners would likely be able to agree on a sensible arrangement.

If this was a new relationship, I can imagine that many in partner A’s position might feel that partner B is freeloading.

Ayr_Rage

Sounds very much like A and B should be discussing their situation and agreeing what is best for both, financially and mentally.

QrizB

Not those numbers but similar ratios (about 8:1).

Mrs QrizB works because she enjoys it. If she stops enjoying it, she can give it up.

We've been married for 25 years and have raised two college-age kids together, so we're pretty settled.

MinnieBin

HappyHarry said:

I would imagine if it was a long term
partnership, say 20+ years, then both partners would likely be able to agree on a sensible arrangement.

If this was a new relationship, I can imagine that many in partner A’s position might feel that partner B is freeloading.

Not 20+ years but living together for a year and dating for a few years.

MinnieBin

QrizB said:

Not those numbers but similar ratios (about 8:1).

Mrs QrizB works because she enjoys it. If she stops enjoying it, she can give it up.

Thanks! Yes, would be a no brainer to me too.

Emmia

MinnieBin said:

Emmia said:

MinnieBin said:

At what point does expecting the lower-earning partner to work and contribute financially start to become a bit… pointless, or even controlling? Say Partner A earns around £290K a year (desk job), while Partner B can realistically max out at about £31K even with all the overtime in the world (manual job). 

If you were Partner A, would you expect Partner B to break their back for 10% of the wage you are making? If yes, why?

I would expect the partner to work to provide them with their own financial independence.  If I was B I wouldn't not work as I wouldn't want to be 100% reliant on someone else. 

Plus working means you build your own pension entitlements.

State pension is already maxed out and due in just a few years for Partner B. Sorry forgot to add. No young joint children either.

I'd still work, my own financial independence is very important to me.

If I was A I'd expect B to work to have their own financial independence. I'd not be willing to entertain a non working partner, especially in a situation without kids.... Even in a long relationship.

Sea_Shell

After 30+years of marriage, we have taken turns in the last few years as being the earner/non-earner, along with having quite different incomes over the years.   Moreso in the latter years.

It's all treated as "our money".

Having both now retired early, I'm currently "sponging" off DHs drawdown, until I can get my hands on mine next year.

I have my own money via investments, but this isn't for day to day spends.

p00hsticks

MinnieBin said:

HappyHarry said:

I would imagine if it was a long term
partnership, say 20+ years, then both partners would likely be able to agree on a sensible arrangement.

If this was a new relationship, I can imagine that many in partner A’s position might feel that partner B is freeloading.

Not 20+ years but living together for a year and dating for a few years.

If living together with no young children, I'd  be expecting both to be contributing to the household expenses, although not necessarily equally if there is so much difference in earning power. If either can do that from savings /pension without having to work then fine.