Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

She wishes she earns anywhere near that @KajiKita She's on around £7 an hour (whatever min wage is for 17) and only has one day a weekend that's set and she sometimes gets a Sunday shift too. It's rubbish a couple of hundred quid was her last pay packet. She's very good at putting a lot away though and I hope they keep her on when she turns 18..at the moment she's their cheap labour being the youngest one there. However that all said I think she can afford the couple of DD if they keep her on for sure 😊.

I had a nice lay in this morning and DP and I feel like we have some focus back which was severely lacking before. We're going to do our vision boards again and set our focus firmly on the same outcome.

It's grey and miserable outside but I will try and finish weeding that one bed and lay cardboard down in an attempt to slow the weeds from coming back so quickly...

debtfreewannabe321

I repotted three tomato plants, two courgettes, a lovage, a cola plant and four Dianthus (put in between miniature dahlias because the raised beds are huge and they won't fill it). Used my compost for all and I'm scraping around the bottom of that huge compost bin now as we've used so much of it!

I also moved a broken old cement bird bath that had been found in a bed last year. The top was ok it was the base that must have broken. It's super heavy so I carefully lifted it on to its side and rolled it to where I wanted it to go and kind of dropped it on the grass. It has a large metal pole in the bottom that would have attached to the base so that stuck itself in the ground and won't move now. I put It on a patch of grass that is dead and put my new solar sprinkler in it which floats around quite happily on the water 😊 throwing up spurts of water every now and then (it was cheap so I'll not moan too much plus it is shady today). I also weeded the rest of that bed I started the other day up to the rhubarb. So the fruit bushes are weeded, along with fruit trees and I still need to do around three more trees and rhubarb but I've left them be for now because I don't want to damage the rhubarb and also a tonne of Aquileia grows wild in there which basically covers the ground so weeds don't really come through too much so I've left it. I've another bed that needs to be dealt with first nearer to the house but I have given in for today. Also the bed I need to do is a wildflower patch with the odd actual plant and fern and tree....so I'm not sure what is weed and what will be a wildflower 🤣🤔 I'm tempted to just leave it and throw around some bark to make it look a little less wild. Or will that make it look worse and more wild 🤔🤣. Hmm…then I have one bed next to the greenhouse that I grew courgettes and sweetcorn in last year but DP wants to pave so we have one continuous path from end of garden back to the front of the garden and around to the front (for green bin/ wheelbarrow etc) so I'll let him do that and I'll have to find somewhere else to grow my courgettes....I'm wondering if they can grow in big pots (I will internet search that).

I have a problem with ants in my garden they are in everything, every pot and bed and thousands of them not just the odd scout. I would think if you dug down in our garden it's just one huge ants nest. I've soaked everything in the greenhouse because they seem to like dry pots better and I don't really know what else to do 🤔. I'm loathe to use ant powder.

I also keep finding monkey nuts and conkers dug into my beds as well as walnuts by the cheeky squirrel.

DP is around half way through the patio now 👏🏻🙏 it's looking good and I can't wait to get out and move the pots on the grass on to it as they're killing the grass 🙈🤣. It's going to look great and I'm glad we spent the money in the garden rather than on a reception party elsewhere that we will only enjoy for one day. At least we'll get to enjoy the garden for the whole summer (then obvs I don't really do much in the cold months out there 🤣). And it has come in at less than half the price of a nice reception room that we were eyeing up when we first starting talking about getting married.

DD has gone to meet bf mum today she went off nervously this morning so hoping it's gone ok. DP has invited bf on holiday with us in August too and said to DD if you bring your car you can both go do your own thing and we can do ours. I've just had a thought though, DD is going on holiday with her dad and brother in August I best check to make sure we have different dates....

I think I'll make an easy dinner tonight. I have anxiety about returning to work tomorrow. ☹️ I don't know how to get past this feeling. I am generally ok when in work because I just flick my 'let's go into survival mode and get through the day' switch on. But I am really not looking forward to it. I can't wait for the end of June. 🙈 I know, I know, I shouldn't wish my life away....I'm wishing DP would get his business up and running so that I can help him grow that enough so there is a job there for me to move in to so I can leave mine. Perhaps that's our next vision board manifestation....!

beanielou

Get that vision board done then!

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hey @debtfreewannabe321, just caught up with your diary!

Just watching 'Love it or list it' whilst reading about your moving plans. Why not! Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Your dress is gorgeous, lovely choice!

debtfreewannabe321

Afternoon all,

I'm stumbling and bumbling through the week. Struggling quite a bit to be honest. On the countdown to the weekend from tomorrow though.

Counselling yesterday was quite helpful really, we have decided to park work rants because I quite literally could spend hours ranting on that subject which is a nice release but not really productive 😅. We've moved on to, what would make me happy. She thinks I am struggling with stress of life rather than trauma. She has asked me lots of questions about my past and how I've dealt with things and come to the conclusion that I'm pretty self aware and understand my own triggers and have also a whole 'toolbox' of things I can use when I'm in a good place to help me with the past trauma....and things have just been overwhelming and taken me to that point of not being able to get back to a normal state of relaxation or an even keel and too tired to delve into my usual tools of self help. I had already come to that conclusion myself, so concurred with this. Work is causing me anxiety because I don't really want this job. I chose it because it meant a pension, it felt a safe option, I'm good at it. The downsides we've decided are, I'm very sensitive and working with such highly demanding and needy individuals is draining me. So unless I learn to protect my energy every day I'm always going to feel stressed. I decided I didn't even really like the job enough to go into that much effort to do this. I've already negotiated the half contract, and I'm detaching slowly but surely from the demands. I have said no twice this week. No explanation just a No. I'm not doing that. I had knots in my stomach doing it but I did it. Work has been slightly easier for that. But I am making a plan with her to make a final exit plan onto something more sustainable for me and to make me happy. I'm not feeling that way very often any more. She also thinks I have ADHD and laughed when I told her how many times I've moved and want to go again ( and how many jobs I've had). She said she had a similar pattern and has just been diagnosed 😅.

debtfreewannabe321

PJ's on. Chinese takeaway consumed. Feet up. It's the weekend.

I've been run off my feet all week. Yesterday I made use of an AI chat bot and inputted my work schedule and asked for help. Put in health issues that seem to be worse in certain places/ times etc and asked for a plan for next week. In fact I trialled it today and it worked well. I was already at breaking point with health by Wednesday and felt like I was about ready to walk (stress, heart palpitations and dizziness and headaches which is a new one). So something had to change. So I've broken my day up today on the advice of the bot, admin, work, admin, lunch, work, admin, work. Admin meaning I get to sit so the dizzy spells are not awful from blood pressure going too low being on my feet too long. And also because I fell so far behind on admin because I was trying to work work work. Meh. Not any more. Next week I've got a whole week's plan and I'll do it and see how I feel at the end.

And as I have just said to DD who is dreading her job tomorrow, work as much as you're paid. End of. I'm not paid a great deal above min wage so I'm not working as hard as others in my office any more. Nope..I'm done with it. And I've told dd to do the same. She works twice as hard as many of her colleagues and she's on £8 an hour.

Budget has gone to pot this month. We've had SO many outgoings. ☹️ DP is deflated because he should have had a huge wage this month but the tax was so high we've been unable to pay for everything we'd budgeted for. We've no money left for the skip, nor the car EF I had planned…sigh.

So bad news out the way, good news is the patio is almost finished. Ds1 is coming over on Sunday. My friend from work is coming over tomorrow as she is planning my cake for my wedding so we're going to chat about that. And from next week I have only two weeks left until half term. I also remembered to order the Sainsbugs shop so I have a delivery due tomorrow 👏🏻 I've forgotten to do this in time for weeks now. However I just added the last basket I bought so I need to go change that in a minute before cut off point. We also have the holiday in August all paid for (I really need to get into the mindset it IS a holiday even if it is just UK) .

Ds1 is bringing his karcher pressure washer with him on Sunday so I will clean the driveway with that at some point and the old patio path leading to the new one.

I am tempted to get a skip still and just pay for it next month as I do think we need one. We've broken roofs, patio doors (lots of glass) and lots of other rubbish. Right best do the shop before I forget and we have a totally random one turn up.

beanielou

Get the skip.

skint_spice

Get the skip and it will free up space mentally too.

KajiKita

Another vote here for get the skip. And ‘hire’ DD’s boyfriend to help fill it 😊

KK

Watty1

Another vote for the skip because then it will all be gone in one go. The other option is that you give up an entire weekend of just filling cars and driving to the tip - and from the sound of it that might not all fit in cars?

(I've been guilty of just leaving stuff and yet having two skips last year was just so helpful in clearing away the unwanted stuff).