One for the ladies

Sea_Shell

On the Northern Lights thing.

The Sun is leaving its "maximus" stage, and the next cycle will be in 15 years time, so the chance of seeing them is diminishing.

See graphs here...

Space Weather Enthusiasts Dashboard | NOAA / NWS Space Weather Prediction Center

ButterCheese

IMO a proposal is a declaration of love and devotion.  It should not be mixed with acts of grandeur.  Yes make it special, but you don't need to go overboard, nor should your partner expect it.

The "standard" for the time was that the man spent 3 months wages on a ring, to prove that he can save, budget and provide for the future wife.  This is totally outdated now, mostly because men and women both go out to work. But also because the cost of owning or living in a house (relative to the average wage) has more than doubled since the 70s, from 4.1 x annual salary, to 8.8.   And as you've been together already and have kids, it's also irrelevant if you've pooled your finances together.  It seems ironic that you should over spend to the point of going into debt, possibly disrupting and limiting both of your lives until it's paid off, to prove that you love someone.

Short answer - buy a ring for £200.  See the northern lights when your kids are older and you don't have to worry about their childcare, and when you might have more disposable income.

jackieblack

The whole '3 months salary on a ring' thing originated from a marketing campaign by de Beers diamond sellers

Pollycat

HedgehogRulez said:

1. Current legislation is 3 months salary. I think this increases to 6 months in a couple of years time, so you’re lucky there.

"Legislation"?
Really?

There is no 'legislation' on how much to spend on an engagement ring.
And where did you get the information regarding 'increase to 6 months 'from?
Some US website?

jackieblack has the right answer here ^^^

Emmia

Pollycat said:

HedgehogRulez said:

1. Current legislation is 3 months salary. I think this increases to 6 months in a couple of years time, so you’re lucky there.

"Legislation"?
Really?

There is no 'legislation' on how much to spend on an engagement ring.
And where did you get the information regarding 'increase to 6 months 'from?
Some US website?

jackieblack has the right answer here ^^^

I think hedgehog is a troll.

BungalowBel

Iceland and a cheaper (paid for) ring, or no ring.

Certainly not going on holiday and having a ring on credit!  

Sapindus

Emmia said:

Pollycat said:

HedgehogRulez said:

1. Current legislation is 3 months salary. I think this increases to 6 months in a couple of years time, so you’re lucky there.

"Legislation"?
Really?

There is no 'legislation' on how much to spend on an engagement ring.
And where did you get the information regarding 'increase to 6 months 'from?
Some US website?

jackieblack has the right answer here ^^^

I think hedgehog is a troll.

I think Hedgehog was JOKING!

OP - You should have a better idea than a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether your girlfriend would choose a trip to see the northern lights or a ring to the same value.  If you're not sure, I suggest you don't know this person well enough to consider marriage.  Also, your research will not be any more relevant by polling purely amongst females, who funnily enough are as diverse in their opinions and preferences as males.

maman

The problem with your apparently simple question @Planahead is that raises so many others.

I suspect that you know your partner would like both but you can only afford one option at the moment. 

A straightforward answer would be go on the holiday and buy an outrageously cheap, flashy, fun ring (Primark or similar). I'm with other posters who say definitely don't get credit and when you can afford a decent ring then choose it together.

However, although I haven't been to Iceland myself, I believe that while you can get a flight and a hotel room package fairly reasonably everything else like food, drinks, trips out, entrance fees to attractions are very expensive. 

And then there's the whole question of getting engaged. If you're strapped for cash, how are you going to afford a wedding? 🤔

Only you can decide but I think your number one priority must be living within your means. 

Cobbler_tone

3 months salary, you’re having a laugh. I did £1,300 but the marriage is transactional for pension purposes…i.e. one ring. Abelini in London are decent BTW.
LOVED Iceland but the one place we’ve seen the Northern Lights was in the UK. The midnight coach to a freezing coast was the only lowlight of our trip. Get a car and explore and don’t expect change from £150 from any decent meal, although the food is great.

Claddagh_Noir

Spend what you can afford on a ring.  Personally?  I would not want a grand statement in regards to the actual proposal.  I hope it will not be one of those ostentatious events where there is a photographer there like a z-lister!  Half the time, people get engaged these days and never make it down the aisle or if they do, they get swept up in the day and then forget, it is just the pair of them after all of the festivities and the honeymoon feeling has worn off before it has even began!

All this talk about 3 months wages on the ring.. that is an old tradition. It is like now asking the girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage when you are already 'living in sin.'