We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Need help getting out of debt cycle!!!

1246

Comments

  • You mentioned gym and takeaways, if you are buying the average takeaway meals then if you stopped them and cooked your own food you perhaps wouldn't need the gym.

    I don't think you have had your lightbulb moment yet.
    Thanks for the suggestion and I get that takeaways are not healthy. I don't have a takeaway everyday but sometimes after my 10 hours shift I'm too tired to cook. Due to my partner's health issues she can't chop or slice food as she's got chronic pain syndrome and arthiritis in her hands she can't cook as well so I order takeaways sometimes as a treat.

    I've put on more weight as I do a desk job and been doing overtime to keep up with paying my bills and it has contributed to my weight. 


  • If your partner has physical problems is she claiming ESA and PIP?
    If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.

  • Since the start of our relationship she's only paid for council tax and I cover everything else. I like to be the main breadwinner but she's helped out more over the years as our rent has gone up and prices in general but we've agreed she'll not have to contribute more than that and our finances are seperate so she shouldn't have to pay for my financial missmanagement. She has her own debts of over 10k and I don't help her out. 
    is it possible that part of your financial mismanagement is due to limited costs being met by your partner?  also, is there a reason she didn't use her redundancy to clear debt?  given that she appears, while working, to have a greater disposable income than you, do you need to consider how both your debts arose?

    best of luck in dealing with this, the hardest part is over in recognising how things stand

    From the start of our relationship we decided to keep our finances seperate and I pay for most things. I live a fairly lowkey lifestyle so I didn't mind. She lives a more lavis lifestyle and I am perfectly fine with that. Most of the debt has accumulated from overspedning on holidays, and going out too often, needing furniture for new home, etc etc over the years but we have cut back greatly. 

    She had 18k debt so she's paid some of her's off but still around 9k left I think. 

    Appreciate your input
  • If your partner has physical problems is she claiming ESA and PIP?
    Yes she does get pip and she spends it mostly on physical therapy and supplements to ease her pain
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 3,242 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    [font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

    Household Information[/b]
    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 
    Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 2105
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 495
    Other income............................ 0[b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2600[/b][b]

    Monthly Expense Details[/b]
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 94
    Rent.................................... 1300
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 151
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 35
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 30
    TV Licence.............................. 16
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 30
    Groceries etc. ......................... 450
    Clothing................................ 50
    Petrol/diesel........................... 70
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 66
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 3
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 50
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 40
    Entertainment........................... 50
    Holiday................................. 100
    Emergency fund.......................... 50[b]
    Total monthly expenses.................. 2696[/b]
    [b]

    Assets[/b]
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 1000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0[b]
    Total Assets............................ 1000[/b]
    [b]

    Secured & HP Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 5000.....(94).......10[b]
    Total secured & HP debts...... 5000......-.........- [/b]

    [b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Tesco bank Loan................7500......228.......12.3
    Santander Loan.................5200......177.......15.5
    Barclays credit card...........6800......256.......0
    Virgin Money card..............725.......25........25
    Paypal credit..................1500......56........22
    MBNA Credit card...............3400......156.......24.5[b]
    Total unsecured debts..........25125.....898.......- [/b]

    [b]
    Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2,600
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,696
    Available for debt repayments........... -96
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 898[b]
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -994[/b]

    [b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -5,000
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,125[b]
    Net Assets.............................. -29,125[/b]

    [i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

    Based on the above. What's my best course of action? My parents used to help me financially but they've had enough now and my bonus has gone down as well so I used to be able to getby but no longer can. DRO?
    How is the £500 from your partner reflected in the SOA? 

    Are these bills the full bill amounts?
    Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
  • kimwp said:
    [font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

    Household Information[/b]
    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 
    Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 2105
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 495
    Other income............................ 0[b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2600[/b][b]

    Monthly Expense Details[/b]
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 94
    Rent.................................... 1300
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 151
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 35
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 30
    TV Licence.............................. 16
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 30
    Groceries etc. ......................... 450
    Clothing................................ 50
    Petrol/diesel........................... 70
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 66
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 3
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 50
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 40
    Entertainment........................... 50
    Holiday................................. 100
    Emergency fund.......................... 50[b]
    Total monthly expenses.................. 2696[/b]
    [b]

    Assets[/b]
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 1000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0[b]
    Total Assets............................ 1000[/b]
    [b]

    Secured & HP Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 5000.....(94).......10[b]
    Total secured & HP debts...... 5000......-.........- [/b]

    [b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Tesco bank Loan................7500......228.......12.3
    Santander Loan.................5200......177.......15.5
    Barclays credit card...........6800......256.......0
    Virgin Money card..............725.......25........25
    Paypal credit..................1500......56........22
    MBNA Credit card...............3400......156.......24.5[b]
    Total unsecured debts..........25125.....898.......- [/b]

    [b]
    Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2,600
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,696
    Available for debt repayments........... -96
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 898[b]
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -994[/b]

    [b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -5,000
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,125[b]
    Net Assets.............................. -29,125[/b]

    [i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

    Based on the above. What's my best course of action? My parents used to help me financially but they've had enough now and my bonus has gone down as well so I used to be able to getby but no longer can. DRO?
    How is the £500 from your partner reflected in the SOA? 

    Are these bills the full bill amounts?
    That's the £495 from listed as benefits. She is currently on Benefits and contributes to expenses. 

    Do you mean utility bills or repayments of debt?
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 3,242 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    kimwp said:
    [font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

    Household Information[/b]
    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 
    Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 2105
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 495
    Other income............................ 0[b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2600[/b][b]

    Monthly Expense Details[/b]
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 94
    Rent.................................... 1300
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 151
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 35
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 30
    TV Licence.............................. 16
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 30
    Groceries etc. ......................... 450
    Clothing................................ 50
    Petrol/diesel........................... 70
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 66
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 3
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 50
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 40
    Entertainment........................... 50
    Holiday................................. 100
    Emergency fund.......................... 50[b]
    Total monthly expenses.................. 2696[/b]
    [b]

    Assets[/b]
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 1000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0[b]
    Total Assets............................ 1000[/b]
    [b]

    Secured & HP Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 5000.....(94).......10[b]
    Total secured & HP debts...... 5000......-.........- [/b]

    [b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Tesco bank Loan................7500......228.......12.3
    Santander Loan.................5200......177.......15.5
    Barclays credit card...........6800......256.......0
    Virgin Money card..............725.......25........25
    Paypal credit..................1500......56........22
    MBNA Credit card...............3400......156.......24.5[b]
    Total unsecured debts..........25125.....898.......- [/b]

    [b]
    Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2,600
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,696
    Available for debt repayments........... -96
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 898[b]
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -994[/b]

    [b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -5,000
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,125[b]
    Net Assets.............................. -29,125[/b]

    [i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

    Based on the above. What's my best course of action? My parents used to help me financially but they've had enough now and my bonus has gone down as well so I used to be able to getby but no longer can. DRO?
    How is the £500 from your partner reflected in the SOA? 

    Are these bills the full bill amounts?
    That's the £495 from listed as benefits. She is currently on Benefits and contributes to expenses. 

    Do you mean utility bills or repayments of debt?
    Ah ok thank you. Maybe rename it to "household contribution from partner" or similar.

    I meant utility bills - are those the full household amounts?
    Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
  • kimwp said:
    kimwp said:
    [font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

    Household Information[/b]
    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 
    Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 2105
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 495
    Other income............................ 0[b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2600[/b][b]

    Monthly Expense Details[/b]
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 94
    Rent.................................... 1300
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 151
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 35
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 30
    TV Licence.............................. 16
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 30
    Groceries etc. ......................... 450
    Clothing................................ 50
    Petrol/diesel........................... 70
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 66
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 3
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 50
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 40
    Entertainment........................... 50
    Holiday................................. 100
    Emergency fund.......................... 50[b]
    Total monthly expenses.................. 2696[/b]
    [b]

    Assets[/b]
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 1000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0[b]
    Total Assets............................ 1000[/b]
    [b]

    Secured & HP Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 5000.....(94).......10[b]
    Total secured & HP debts...... 5000......-.........- [/b]

    [b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Tesco bank Loan................7500......228.......12.3
    Santander Loan.................5200......177.......15.5
    Barclays credit card...........6800......256.......0
    Virgin Money card..............725.......25........25
    Paypal credit..................1500......56........22
    MBNA Credit card...............3400......156.......24.5[b]
    Total unsecured debts..........25125.....898.......- [/b]

    [b]
    Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2,600
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,696
    Available for debt repayments........... -96
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 898[b]
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -994[/b]

    [b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -5,000
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,125[b]
    Net Assets.............................. -29,125[/b]

    [i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

    Based on the above. What's my best course of action? My parents used to help me financially but they've had enough now and my bonus has gone down as well so I used to be able to getby but no longer can. DRO?
    How is the £500 from your partner reflected in the SOA? 

    Are these bills the full bill amounts?
    That's the £495 from listed as benefits. She is currently on Benefits and contributes to expenses. 

    Do you mean utility bills or repayments of debt?
    Ah ok thank you. Maybe rename it to "household contribution from partner" or similar.

    I meant utility bills - are those the full household amounts?
    Will do. Thanks

    Yes they are. We are only 2 people in a 1 bed property. Are they too high or too low? 
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 3,242 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 24 September at 2:24PM
    kimwp said:
    kimwp said:
    [font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

    Household Information[/b]
    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 
    Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 2105
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 495
    Other income............................ 0[b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2600[/b][b]

    Monthly Expense Details[/b]
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 94
    Rent.................................... 1300
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 151
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 35
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 30
    TV Licence.............................. 16
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 30
    Groceries etc. ......................... 450
    Clothing................................ 50
    Petrol/diesel........................... 70
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 66
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 3
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 50
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 40
    Entertainment........................... 50
    Holiday................................. 100
    Emergency fund.......................... 50[b]
    Total monthly expenses.................. 2696[/b]
    [b]

    Assets[/b]
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 1000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0[b]
    Total Assets............................ 1000[/b]
    [b]

    Secured & HP Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 5000.....(94).......10[b]
    Total secured & HP debts...... 5000......-.........- [/b]

    [b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Tesco bank Loan................7500......228.......12.3
    Santander Loan.................5200......177.......15.5
    Barclays credit card...........6800......256.......0
    Virgin Money card..............725.......25........25
    Paypal credit..................1500......56........22
    MBNA Credit card...............3400......156.......24.5[b]
    Total unsecured debts..........25125.....898.......- [/b]

    [b]
    Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
    Total monthly income.................... 2,600
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,696
    Available for debt repayments........... -96
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 898[b]
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -994[/b]

    [b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -5,000
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,125[b]
    Net Assets.............................. -29,125[/b]

    [i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

    Based on the above. What's my best course of action? My parents used to help me financially but they've had enough now and my bonus has gone down as well so I used to be able to getby but no longer can. DRO?
    How is the £500 from your partner reflected in the SOA? 

    Are these bills the full bill amounts?
    That's the £495 from listed as benefits. She is currently on Benefits and contributes to expenses. 

    Do you mean utility bills or repayments of debt?
    Ah ok thank you. Maybe rename it to "household contribution from partner" or similar.

    I meant utility bills - are those the full household amounts?
    Will do. Thanks

    Yes they are. We are only 2 people in a 1 bed property. Are they too high or too low? 
    Is there such a thing as bills being too low? The important thing is are they accurate (are they an average of your monthly spend through the year)

    The reason for my asking was to run the numbers through what more knowledgeable posters have said about your partner's impact on your chances of a dro.

    She is paying slightly under a quarter of your household bills (rent, energy, water, broadband, TV license and groceries). So if her finances are to be kept separate, meaning they would assume a 50:50 split, then you would have an assumed extra £500, so an excess of £400 IE more than £75 surplus after essential spends for a dro. (You may have come to that conclusion already and I didn't spot your responses to those messages)
    Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 36,157 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Is your partner using her PIP mainly for physical therapy and supplements or is she using it towards household expenses. Or using her redundancy to fund the household expenses?

    I appreciate that you keep your finances separate and that you perceive that you are the main breadwinner.

    You do understand fully that you have been funding your partner's "lavish" lifestyle whilst getting into debt, whether it's failing to negotiate a proportionate contribution to household expenses or taking expensive holidays?

    If you can't do overtime, can you a second job, even if only until Christmas?

    Regarding your health and fitness, I'd suggest you check out Michael Mosley and Claire Bailey. Everything from maybe a 2/7 diet to some of the "Just one Thing" ideas.  Start by walking down a step of stairs, even if you get the lift back up, and build on that, for example.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.3K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 601K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.5K Life & Family
  • 259.1K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.7K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.