Need help getting out of debt cycle!!!

RAS

There is no income from your partner. For what reason? 

Your rental cost is half your income, which is unsustainable going forward. 

What's the house value refer to? Or is it the car for which you have costs?

Your SOA expenditure exceeds your income, so you need to reduce your discretionary spends to balance the budget.

Whatever your debt solution, you need a new basic bank account with a provider to whom you owe nothing. 

Your partner needs to bring in £1200 net and you can make this all work. 

IWantaFreshStart2025

RAS said:

There is no income from your partner. For what reason? 

Your rental cost is half your income, which is unsustainable going forward. 

What's the house value refer to? Or is it the car for which you have costs?

Your SOA expenditure exceeds your income, so you need to reduce your discretionary spends to balance the budget.

Whatever your debt solution, you need a new basic bank account with a provider to whom you owe nothing. 

Your partner needs to bring in £1200 net and you can make this all work. 

Partner has been out of work for last 6 months. But she got a £16000 voluntary redundancy lump sum.
My partner contributes around £500 monthly to household expenses and that our arrangement wheter she is working or not. We keep our finances seperate so she won't contribute more even if she was in employment. We are not married, just live together. 

House value is just how much my laptop and mobile is worth but I guess i put it in the wrong place. 

I have opened a new Basic account with Nationwide and haven't used the switch service as advised here. 

I'm not sure where I can cutback perhaps Netflix.

Even if partner earned more she won't contribute more as I usually pay for everything. We've been together for 7 years and first few years I paid for everything except council tax which she paid but then rent went up and living costs so she chipped in a bit more but she won't pay more than £500 a month towards household expenses. She suffers from Inflamotary Arthiritis and other health issues and spends money on her own therapy sessions etc.

Bizzywizard

Hi,
As someone whose husband had cicra £19k of debt and I didn't know at the time...does your partner?
I only found out when he wasn't sleeping and he was crying.....I sat down with all the figures and we worked through it...it took about 3 years and we are now debt free....so it can be done!

A few things I noticed.

Is you council tax paid over 10 months or 12? I only pay over 12 months now, so my income and expenditure always remain the same. Just call the Council Tax office and change it! Those few extra pounds really help!

I still don't have a TV Tax (Licence), as I don't need it and watch everything on NONE LIVE TV. So contact them, you can cancel it! Its all pants on the TV anyway!

You need to get rid of Netfix, disney, spotify etc....only have them when you are debit free....otherwise they should not exist.

You need to sit down and talk through your debit with your partner, she needs to be paying half of everything...or you may need to find somwhere cheaper to live?

Could you move in with a relative and pay lower rent to them? While you get out of the spiral...not sure others would agree about this suggestion.

Have you sold anything on-line or on market place to make some extra money?

My young son (16 and first job) has just got an Evening job for Christmas Staff till February 2026, 20 hours a week at Dunelm...could your partner do something like that just to keep some money coming in? Look on Indeed the xmas jobs are starting to come up now.

Haircuts...need knocking on the head...grow it out for a while, or invest in a £20 headshaver and have a buzz cut. Assuming you are a man, if not just grow it out and tie it up.

Don't default on your payments!

If you have a Nationwide account, have you been offered the interest free overdraft? I was given £2k OD (this changes from one person to the next)....BUT YOU HAVE TO CLEAR THIS WITHIN THE YEAR, OR THE INTEREST IS BONKERS). 

Maybe ask your partner to pay off the smallest loan, as a way of helping you out.

Hope this helps in a small way

IWantaFreshStart2025

Bizzywizard said:

Hi,
As someone whose husband had cicra £19k of debt and I didn't know at the time...does your partner?
I only found out when he wasn't sleeping and he was crying.....I sat down with all the figures and we worked through it...it took about 3 years and we are now debt free....so it can be done!

A few things I noticed.

Is you council tax paid over 10 months or 12? I only pay over 12 months now, so my income and expenditure always remain the same. Just call the Council Tax office and change it! Those few extra pounds really help!

I still don't have a TV Tax (Licence), as I don't need it and watch everything on NONE LIVE TV. So contact them, you can cancel it! Its all pants on the TV anyway!

You need to get rid of Netfix, disney, spotify etc....only have them when you are debit free....otherwise they should not exist.

You need to sit down and talk through your debit with your partner, she needs to be paying half of everything...or you may need to find somwhere cheaper to live?

Could you move in with a relative and pay lower rent to them? While you get out of the spiral...not sure others would agree about this suggestion.

Have you sold anything on-line or on market place to make some extra money?

My young son (16 and first job) has just got an Evening job for Christmas Staff till February 2026, 20 hours a week at Dunelm...could your partner do something like that just to keep some money coming in? Look on Indeed the xmas jobs are starting to come up now.

Haircuts...need knocking on the head...grow it out for a while, or invest in a £20 headshaver and have a buzz cut. Assuming you are a man, if not just grow it out and tie it up.

Don't default on your payments!

If you have a Nationwide account, have you been offered the interest free overdraft? I was given £2k OD (this changes from one person to the next)....BUT YOU HAVE TO CLEAR THIS WITHIN THE YEAR, OR THE INTEREST IS BONKERS). 

Maybe ask your partner to pay off the smallest loan, as a way of helping you out.

Hope this helps in a small way

Hi, Thank you so much for your input and I'm glad you are now on top of it. 

Yes my Partner knows about the debt but we keep our finances strictly seperate and she's not in a poaition to bail me out as she isn't working and has health problems herself. It's paid over 10 months at £183 so over 12 months works out £151 so that's what I put there. 

I can get rid of Netflix and get haircuts at home but I don't think it will make much of a difference as my monthly debt repayments are over £800 a month. 

We live in London and have friends and family here so we live in a 1 bed and £1300 is pretty average for London. We can move slightly out but we have elderly parents in London so can't be too far away from them. Moving in with friends and family isn't an option as we like our privacy. 

I already have £2k overdraft with my main bank Santander so don't need more credit. 
 
The advice here is to default as it stays on credit file for 6 years as opposed to arrangement to pay which stays on the file for a further 5 years once debt is paid off. Defaulting is probably my best option and then speaking to a debt advisor.

IWantaFreshStart2025

@sourcrates Do you think I qualify for a DRO based on my SOA and is that the best option given my circumstances?

RAS

In insolvency situations partners are expected to contribute in proportion to the individual's income. £500 per month may or may not cut the mustard with the assessor.

It looks very much as if you've been accruing a lot of debt over the years just trying to keep your partner to the standard to which they are accustomed. 

That's simply not sustainable. I recognise the issues with the travel/rent/parent conundrum. And how vicious the London housing market can be. 

You do recognise that whether you do a DRO or a DMP, once the debts stop being paid, you can't get more credit? Which means you cannot use further credit to subsidise your partner for the next 6 years.

So you need a difficult conversation or two. One of which might be whether they can get additional financial support based on their health issues.

The other that you're both going to have to move somewhere cheaper. And live very much on beans and rice whilst you try to find a location that allows reasonable travel costs to work and parents.

sourcrates

IWantaFreshStart2025 said:

@sourcrates Do you think I qualify for a DRO based on my SOA and is that the best option given my circumstances?

Its difficult to advise on a DRO, as it appears that the qualifying criteria can be open to interpretation by some Money Wellness advisors, on paper you may well qualify, is your car worth 4k or less?

I would certainly not rule it out, see what @fatbelly has to say, he`s better positioned to advise on DRO`s currently.

IWantaFreshStart2025

sourcrates said:

IWantaFreshStart2025 said:

@sourcrates Do you think I qualify for a DRO based on my SOA and is that the best option given my circumstances?

Its difficult to advise on a DRO, as it appears that the qualifying criteria can be open to interpretation by some Money Wellness advisors, on paper you may well qualify, is your car worth 4k or less?

I would certainly not rule it out, see what @fatbelly has to say, he`s better positioned to advise on DRO`s currently.

Car was worth more than 4k but it's on Finance and I wouldn't own it for another 5 years till it's paid off. 

I'll wait for further replies thanks

fatbelly

Yes the hp appears to be the main complication for a DRO

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/debt-relief-orders-guidance-for-debt-advisers#hire-purchase-agreements

Your proposed strategy in your first post (until you got to the consolidation bit) seems sound for now

kimwp

IWantaFreshStart2025 said:

Bizzywizard said:

Hi,
As someone whose husband had cicra £19k of debt and I didn't know at the time...does your partner?
I only found out when he wasn't sleeping and he was crying.....I sat down with all the figures and we worked through it...it took about 3 years and we are now debt free....so it can be done!

A few things I noticed.

Is you council tax paid over 10 months or 12? I only pay over 12 months now, so my income and expenditure always remain the same. Just call the Council Tax office and change it! Those few extra pounds really help!

I still don't have a TV Tax (Licence), as I don't need it and watch everything on NONE LIVE TV. So contact them, you can cancel it! Its all pants on the TV anyway!

You need to get rid of Netfix, disney, spotify etc....only have them when you are debit free....otherwise they should not exist.

You need to sit down and talk through your debit with your partner, she needs to be paying half of everything...or you may need to find somwhere cheaper to live?

Could you move in with a relative and pay lower rent to them? While you get out of the spiral...not sure others would agree about this suggestion.

Have you sold anything on-line or on market place to make some extra money?

My young son (16 and first job) has just got an Evening job for Christmas Staff till February 2026, 20 hours a week at Dunelm...could your partner do something like that just to keep some money coming in? Look on Indeed the xmas jobs are starting to come up now.

Haircuts...need knocking on the head...grow it out for a while, or invest in a £20 headshaver and have a buzz cut. Assuming you are a man, if not just grow it out and tie it up.

Don't default on your payments!

If you have a Nationwide account, have you been offered the interest free overdraft? I was given £2k OD (this changes from one person to the next)....BUT YOU HAVE TO CLEAR THIS WITHIN THE YEAR, OR THE INTEREST IS BONKERS). 

Maybe ask your partner to pay off the smallest loan, as a way of helping you out.

Hope this helps in a small way

Hi, Thank you so much for your input and I'm glad you are now on top of it. 

Yes my Partner knows about the debt but we keep our finances strictly seperate and she's not in a poaition to bail me out as she isn't working and has health problems herself. It's paid over 10 months at £183 so over 12 months works out £151 so that's what I put there. 

I can get rid of Netflix and get haircuts at home but I don't think it will make much of a difference as my monthly debt repayments are over £800 a month. 

We live in London and have friends and family here so we live in a 1 bed and £1300 is pretty average for London. We can move slightly out but we have elderly parents in London so can't be too far away from them. Moving in with friends and family isn't an option as we like our privacy. 

I already have £2k overdraft with my main bank Santander so don't need more credit. 
 
The advice here is to default as it stays on credit file for 6 years as opposed to arrangement to pay which stays on the file for a further 5 years once debt is paid off. Defaulting is probably my best option and then speaking to a debt advisor.

You need to cut back even ignoring the debts because according to your SOA, you are earning less than your non debt-spends. You should be aiming to spend at least £100 less than your income, to save for emergencies. So cutting back on netflix and iPlayer/live TV, reducing spend on haircuts, clothing, entertainment until you are saving (at least) £100 a month. (Not including money being put aside for your annual expenses).

It looks like you have £50 allocated to emergency fund. If you say no holidays, then you have a further £50 to find towards the £100 emergency fund goal. (Providing your SOA is accurate)

Your first post sounded very sensible with your plan, but I think you still have to have the realisation that you have to cut back and make some compromises.