Money Moral Dilemma: Who should pay to change the holiday our neighbours encouraged us to book?

Olenna

ripongrammargirl said:

I don’t understand this snobbish attitude. Your neighbours asked you to go and you know them!
It’s a great loss to the others if they are so unfriendly that they don’t even want to share a boat with two people that have paid already. Just go and have a great time and ignore these horrible unfriendly individuals. 

It’s such a weird thing to say “you can’t come because we don’t know you”: sounds very fishy to me…. Swingers cruise??!!!
You were invited, you accepted and you paid so go and have a wonderful time. You don’t need to have anything to do with these horrible, rude people. Don’t lose out on money or an experience just because of some selfish, arrogant clique. 

What is wrong with people these days?

I agree with you in theory but holidays are usually financially costly but also use up limited time off work and are a rare chance to totally relax and unwind. Given that they have been informally warned off; IMO there is a greater likelihood of something unpleasant happening that would impinge on their holiday enjoyment so for that reason alone I would cancel or change dates. 

iclayt

It's not your neighbours fault so don't ask them to cover costs. You were going expecting to only know your neighbours, and that hasn't changed - you just know there are some serious snobs on board as well. If it was me, I'd tell the tour organiser I'm happy to cancel if they can cover all associated costs so I'm not a penny out of pocket, otherwise, I'll see them on board. I'd also be tempted to arrive dressed like Hyacinth Bucket on her nautical riverside supper yachting trip. 

ripongrammargirl

Olenna said:

ripongrammargirl said:

I don’t understand this snobbish attitude. Your neighbours asked you to go and you know them!
It’s a great loss to the others if they are so unfriendly that they don’t even want to share a boat with two people that have paid already. Just go and have a great time and ignore these horrible unfriendly individuals. 

It’s such a weird thing to say “you can’t come because we don’t know you”: sounds very fishy to me…. Swingers cruise??!!!
You were invited, you accepted and you paid so go and have a wonderful time. You don’t need to have anything to do with these horrible, rude people. Don’t lose out on money or an experience just because of some selfish, arrogant clique. 

What is wrong with people these days?

I agree with you in theory but holidays are usually financially costly but also use up limited time off work and are a rare chance to totally relax and unwind. Given that they have been informally warned off; IMO there is a greater likelihood of something unpleasant happening that would impinge on their holiday enjoyment so for that reason alone I would cancel or change dates. 

No reason why they shouldn’t be able to relax just because of a few selfish morons. Holidays are expensive so if they are being “forced out” by these nasty folk then they should be refunded in full plus compensation for all the bad mouthing and loss of a holiday. If this isn’t forthcoming then they can easily avoid any of this lot and just hang out with the neighbours, whilst enjoying the cruise.  Boats are big enough to avoid confrontations but they shouldn’t be out of pocket due to this unpleasant clique.

twopenny

Thank your lucky stars that you found out what they are like before you committed yourself further.

Your choice to go and enjoy the cruise if you think it's one that would give you pleasure and mix with others. I'd avoid this group like the plague while smiling if you come into close proximity.

Or cut your losses.

I get the feeling it's not as nasty as it sounds. Some people can only be with those they know. They miss so much.
I travel solo and get to meet such interesting people from all over the world .
Horses for courses. Depends which you are.

Shell1989

The group of people going on the river cruise sound awful and unfriendly. You’ve every right to still go on the holiday because if you were able to book then it’s obviously open to the general public and if the “group” didn’t want it this way, the organiser should have set the booking system up differently. The organiser also sounds like a bad person, having the audacity to ask you to cancel instead of telling his group to grow up. The neighbours should be spoken to about this, since they encouraged / invited you, they obviously have some kind of relationship with you and should vouch for you with the group - not to mention - they should be embarrassed to even be part of such a mean group. If you ask me, these are a nasty bunch of people that you might not want to holiday with anymore anyway, but you should not lose money for something that isn’t your fault. If you have it in you, go on the holiday and have the best time with your partner and make everyone else extremely uncomfortable with your carefree attitude 😊

fabulous_at_any_age

If this happened to me I'd go anyway if I'd already paid. I would then try very hard to make friends with the people in the group. If that didn't work I'd just keep my distance if necessary but also keep a positive and caring attitude to all the group on the holiday.

keithyno.1

Your neighbours have done nothing wrong, they were just being friendly and inclusive and acting with all good intentions from the sound of it, so don't go asking them for a contribution towards any loss you incur.

BUT, as for this trip organiser, well he sounds like a hideous individual and I certainly don't understand why you sympathise with him. He's got a downright cheek asking you to move or cancel your booking because of these other people and their narrow-minded, obnoxious attitude.

Personally I wouldn't want to be anywhere near a bunch like this, certainly not holed up on a boat with them. 

So, I would inform the trip organiser in writing that you WILL move or cancel the booking as he's requested BUT advise him that you hold him personally responsible for this sorry situation and the £200 loss you're going to incur, and will pursue him by every means possible for reimbursement of it, involving court action if necessary.

OK, he may well call your bluff and completely ignore your request, in which case you'd probably just have to write off the £200 and put it down to experience. But alternatively it may just spark a bit of panic in him and send him scuttling to the others asking them all to contribute. Or it may make him realise how lousily they've all treated you and also realise that making sure you're not out of pocket for a situation he's allowed to arise (and handled so badly) is simply the right thing to do.

Spikeygran

I'm obviously a stubborn old bat but there is no way I would cancel this and take a loss.  If they want you to cancel they can cover the loss, every last penny.    I assume there is someone in the group that is used to getting their own way and is putting pressure on the trip organiser, and thats another reason why I would not be cancelling.  

Ed264

I would suggest whoever was happy to accept your money should immediately arrange a refund. And you're probably better off not being in the company of these people anyway. Go and spend your £200 on something you will enjoy. Sorry I'm being blunt here, that's just me! 

Missy15

If you didn't book through the organiser of this group, then he has absolutely no say in the matter and nor do the rest of the group.!
And if you did then, he has no business being the organiser!
 If your neighbours have asked you to join them it's because they would prefer your company to the rest of the mean spirited group!
I, regularly along with others from my walking group join another social group on their coach trips to keep their costs down by making up numbers, to make the trip viable.
That obviously wasn't the case here, so nobody's business other  than yours and your neighbours.
Go and enjoy yourself and ignore their childish behaviour.