Time to banish the debt.

flamingo22

Having a bit of a wobbler these past few days and hence why I'm still up at this time 😭. I know I've got to pay the debts back and I will but I'm so ashamed that I've gotten myself into this mess, I know my children don't miss out on things (or at least I try not to let them) but I just feel awful on the things we could be doing but can't at the moment. My daughter will have left school by the time my debts are paid and who knows if she will want to spend time with me then, my son will be in his last year and my baby will be 3, I would've spent his whole life in debt.
Ive just worked out how much I will owe every month from now on and seeing the figures decrease is giving me some hope. 

Wage should be hitting my account anytime now, (which account I do not know as I did one of the bank switches) and then it'll be gone again before I know it. 

I pray my children are never in this position. 

Middle_Aged_Guy

I know exactly how you feel regarding the guilt for allowing ourselves to get into so much debt and the impacts on our children.
You are not alone in that and im sure its extremely common here on the forums. The main thing is you are doing something about it, you are working towards and will be debt free.
You are doing amazing!! 

honeybee1234

+1 here. I understand the feeling ashamed, but let go of that, difficult as it is. The fact is that although you're having a wobbler, you have some really focused forward momentum with your finances, you know what's going on with your debts, and you have that debt free date there. You actually have a healthy balance with tackling things but ensuring you're also considering the children, and that's so important.

If it helps, my memories from childhood aren't just, say, holidays or fancy trips, but the spending time with my parents doing everyday things, like a film night at home on a Saturday night, going on errands with my dad and him treating me to a little cake from the supermarket bakery, a simple picnic at a local park and climbing in the rhododendron bushes with my sister. You'd probably be surprised what the children say they enjoy if you ask them, it's not always the things you feel guilt about that they tell you.

Hope that helps a little @flamingo22

flamingo22

Middle_Aged_Guy said:

I know exactly how you feel regarding the guilt for allowing ourselves to get into so much debt and the impacts on our children.
You are not alone in that and im sure its extremely common here on the forums. The main thing is you are doing something about it, you are working towards and will be debt free.
You are doing amazing!! 

Sorry you're feeling the same way too, but guess we must remember that it won't always be this way, just hard trying to think of a time when all this will be a distant memory. 

Hope you're doing okay with your progress. 

flamingo22

honeybee1234 said:

+1 here. I understand the feeling ashamed, but let go of that, difficult as it is. The fact is that although you're having a wobbler, you have some really focused forward momentum with your finances, you know what's going on with your debts, and you have that debt free date there. You actually have a healthy balance with tackling things but ensuring you're also considering the children, and that's so important.

If it helps, my memories from childhood aren't just, say, holidays or fancy trips, but the spending time with my parents doing everyday things, like a film night at home on a Saturday night, going on errands with my dad and him treating me to a little cake from the supermarket bakery, a simple picnic at a local park and climbing in the rhododendron bushes with my sister. You'd probably be surprised what the children say they enjoy if you ask them, it's not always the things you feel guilt about that they tell you.

Hope that helps a little @flamingo22

Aww thank you, it really does. Sounds like a lovely childhood with your fond memories 😊

flamingo22

I've gone way over budget this month and had to use my credit card (the guilt I'm feeling is ridiculous, but this is the first time I've had proper guilt whilst spending it so that's an improvement) I haven't budgeted properly for the increase in food whilst the kids are off, school uniforms, days out etc but it's a lesson (another one). All debts are paid amd I'll just have to pay extra next month on my CC. I received a better wage this month from doing my kit days but the extra money went on a new tyre, MOT and a service, hopefully I'll have some extra money next month to start building on my EF.

So the past couple of weeks I've withdrew £20 from surveys, received a £15 Amazon voucher for taking part in a meal survey,£40 voucher for switching my pet insurance and due another £50 voucher for taking part in an online survey. These vouchers are for Christmas, I'm determined to have a credit free Christmas, which would be the first one in a long time. 

Feeling disheartened at the money I'm paying every month because my figures are hardly reducing thanks to the stupid interest 😡. 

Anyway got a child free hour, best make the most of it and clean the house 🙄🤣.

Sarahwithlove

I'd focus on paying minimums on debts until you have your budget adjusted correctly for the expenses you haven't considered. I'd also build up your emergency fund. I know its hard as you just want the debt gone but if you have to give in and put in on a card then your just exchanging one debt for another. 

Middle_Aged_Guy

Just checking in @flamingo22 I hope you are doing well!

flamingo22

Haven't posted on here in a while, mostly because I've been getting too despondent with the figures not reducing as quickly as I'd like and feeling a bit meh about it all, still been reading everyone's diaries though and happy to see how you're all progressing.
 I started to become obsessed with the figures and had my 'debt book' out daily, mixing figures around, anyway I've cut back on doing this for now at least as it's been eating away at me and my time.

Anyway just had a lovely week away in wales (no credit used) and it's made me realise that I need to just chill out with the debts, they are going to be there for the foreseeable and no matter how many figures I do, this isn't going to change. We had a great week reconnecting with each other and just had fun, although the debt anxiety hit me as soon as we got home, but I'm keeping it at bay for now. 

Back to work full time on Monday (can't believe how quick the last 11 months have gone) and my baby had his first taster session at nursery today, he absolutely loved it, so this definitely makes the transition easier. 

So on the money front, I should have my first loan paid off in August 2026 and the rest will follow in 2027, I do pay the minimum payments because I have no choice not to, so this doesn't leave much room to overpay but I have been overpaying on my abound loan (the one to finish in August) cannot wait to get that paid off, well all of them actually. 

I have £115 in Amazon vouchers towards Christmas so far, this is from switching insurances, market research, and I have also scraped together nearly £300 for savings/EF. Sold two items on Vinted this week, only £9 but every penny helps amd I think that I have a good plan (another moving forward). 

Had an email the other day to say that my credit score had changed (it's gone down loads) and the recommendation was that I had too much available credit that I wasn't using, what the heck?? Why is this even allowed, before I got my debt busting head on, this email would've suckered me in and I'd be spending more on credit to improve my credit score, crazy 🤪.

Anyway another month of debt payments down. 

flamingo22

Middle_Aged_Guy said:

Just checking in @flamingo22 I hope you are doing well!

Still here and plodding on, thanks for the check in, hope you're doing well 🙂