Time to banish the debt.

flamingo22

I've been a lurker on here for a while now and kept meaning to start my own diary but for some reason or not I haven't, I now know it's probably because of the shame I'm feeling. I've had some kind of debt for as long as I can remember but never to this extent. 8 years ago I had just paid off £3000 on my credit card and bought my first house. Furnishing the house went back into my credit card and I then applied for a couple of loans to continuing furnishing my home. These debts were manageable and I felt quite content with my life and everything was fine. I then began with anxiety in my job and the thought of going in everyday was filling me with dread, this was during the pandemic and working in the NHS. I decided to go back to uni so that I could apply for another role, I got accepted however my wage would decrease for the duration of the training, this was fine and I worked over time all throughout the summer so that this money would top up my wage throughout the course. My first wage hit and it was worse than I thought, it worked out that I would be getting £12000 per less a year (I originally had thought it would be £6000-£7000). The money that I had saved had gotten swallowed up in the first couple of months, I applied for a consolidation loan, got accepted but still couldn't manage with this, so back to the credit cards I went. This has been my life for the past few years, consolidation loan after consolidation loan and still using my credit cards. I now realise that consolidating is not the answer, if only I had realised this a while ago I may not be in the mess I am now at the point where my total debt is £52000 ish, even just writing that makes me want to vomit. I am managing paying my payments, I haven't missed any payments and my debt free date is December 2027, if all goes to plan. I wanted to start this diary to get advice, support and just a lending ear from those of you who are in my position or have been. I realise debt is a lonely place to be and for me it's always lurking in the background ready to give me a new pang of anxiety. 

Thanks for reading if you've got this far. 

Middle_Aged_Guy

flamingo22 said:

I've been a lurker on here for a while now and kept meaning to start my own diary but for some reason or not I haven't, I now know it's probably because of the shame I'm feeling. I've had some kind of debt for as long as I can remember but never to this extent. 8 years ago I had just paid off £3000 on my credit card and bought my first house. Furnishing the house went back into my credit card and I then applied for a couple of loans to continuing furnishing my home. These debts were manageable and I felt quite content with my life and everything was fine. I then began with anxiety in my job and the thought of going in everyday was filling me with dread, this was during the pandemic and working in the NHS. I decided to go back to uni so that I could apply for another role, I got accepted however my wage would decrease for the duration of the training, this was fine and I worked over time all throughout the summer so that this money would top up my wage throughout the course. My first wage hit and it was worse than I thought, it worked out that I would be getting £12000 per less a year (I originally had thought it would be £6000-£7000). The money that I had saved had gotten swallowed up in the first couple of months, I applied for a consolidation loan, got accepted but still couldn't manage with this, so back to the credit cards I went. This has been my life for the past few years, consolidation loan after consolidation loan and still using my credit cards. I now realise that consolidating is not the answer, if only I had realised this a while ago I may not be in the mess I am now at the point where my total debt is £52000 ish, even just writing that makes me want to vomit. I am managing paying my payments, I haven't missed any payments and my debt free date is December 2027, if all goes to plan. I wanted to start this diary to get advice, support and just a lending ear from those of you who are in my position or have been. I realise debt is a lonely place to be and for me it's always lurking in the background ready to give me a new pang of anxiety. 

Thanks for reading if you've got this far. 

Hello Flamingo22,

Well done for getting this far! The fact you have been brave enough to finally face up to the debt and start this diary shows just how far you have come.

I have bookmarked your diary and will be cheering you on from the sidelines! 

You can and will do this..

M.A.G.

Ordinary_Yet_Unique

Hopefully you will be back soon with an outline of your plan. Perhaps post a SOA so that others can provide useful suggestions to assist you with the journey ahead.

flamingo22

Middle_Aged_Guy said:

flamingo22 said:

I've been a lurker on here for a while now and kept meaning to start my own diary but for some reason or not I haven't, I now know it's probably because of the shame I'm feeling. I've had some kind of debt for as long as I can remember but never to this extent. 8 years ago I had just paid off £3000 on my credit card and bought my first house. Furnishing the house went back into my credit card and I then applied for a couple of loans to continuing furnishing my home. These debts were manageable and I felt quite content with my life and everything was fine. I then began with anxiety in my job and the thought of going in everyday was filling me with dread, this was during the pandemic and working in the NHS. I decided to go back to uni so that I could apply for another role, I got accepted however my wage would decrease for the duration of the training, this was fine and I worked over time all throughout the summer so that this money would top up my wage throughout the course. My first wage hit and it was worse than I thought, it worked out that I would be getting £12000 per less a year (I originally had thought it would be £6000-£7000). The money that I had saved had gotten swallowed up in the first couple of months, I applied for a consolidation loan, got accepted but still couldn't manage with this, so back to the credit cards I went. This has been my life for the past few years, consolidation loan after consolidation loan and still using my credit cards. I now realise that consolidating is not the answer, if only I had realised this a while ago I may not be in the mess I am now at the point where my total debt is £52000 ish, even just writing that makes me want to vomit. I am managing paying my payments, I haven't missed any payments and my debt free date is December 2027, if all goes to plan. I wanted to start this diary to get advice, support and just a lending ear from those of you who are in my position or have been. I realise debt is a lonely place to be and for me it's always lurking in the background ready to give me a new pang of anxiety. 

Thanks for reading if you've got this far. 

Hello Flamingo22,

Well done for getting this far! The fact you have been brave enough to finally face up to the debt and start this diary shows just how far you have come.

I have bookmarked your diary and will be cheering you on from the sidelines! 

You can and will do this..

M.A.G.

Thanks for the cheers, I think I will need it. Have you got a diary that I can bookmark, I'm still navigating this site and cannot seem to find one for you, send me the link of you have.

flamingo22

Ordinary_Yet_Unique said:

Hopefully you will be back soon with an outline of your plan. Perhaps post a SOA so that items can provide useful suggestions to assist you with the journey ahead.

Ordinary_Yet_Unique said:

Hopefully you will be back soon with an outline of your plan. Perhaps post a SOA so that items can provide useful suggestions to assist you with the journey ahead.

Morning, I will update my plan. I have done a crazy amount of SOA's in the past few months, this is one thing I feel okay with. I've stopped all unnecessary DD's, I've stopped paying ITV and C4 so now I'm having to sit through adverts again, yawn, I am on a sim only plan at £5 p/m. Recently switched my dog insurance so that's saving me £25 p/m. I have started meal planning and taking cash for the weekly shop and using the scanners so that I can see how much I'm spending. I can't believe I've never done this before, usually I just whack everything into the trolley, have a mini heart attack at the total amount and still struggle with knowing what to have to eat, well no more. 

flamingo22

So a bit about me, I'm a mummy to three little darlings (DD 14, soon to be 15, DS 13 and a nearly 9 month old DS), I'm married.

my husband and I separated back in 2015 and we remained on good terms, the years went by so quick and a divorce was never on our list of priorities. We still had family days and meals at my house together, then 3 years ago we started to grow closer again and decided to give it another go. He eventually moved into my house, and then a few months later we found out that we were expecting our littlest darling, complete shock but he has completed me and he came exactly at the right time for me (not debt wise obviously).

my husband doesn't know about my debts, and I'm happy with that at the moment, I don't need him to know. He currently has an IVA so there won't be any judgement from him but I think again it's going back to how embarrassed I feel about it all. There may come a time when I have to tell him but I'm not there yet. This may appear weird to some, but for now it's how I want it. 

I am due to go back to work in September and little DS will be entitled to the funding hours for nursery and my parents are going to help with childcare too. Hurray to a 'normal' wage again, boo to having to leave my baby. I completed a lot of overtime during pregnancy and the funds for these evaporated whilst on maternity but it's what they where there for, I haven't gotten into anymore debt, and have still managed to pay all of my payments. And my daughter has been able to go on two holidays with school and a holiday coming up with her friends (with a little help from nana and grandad) I honestly thought the state of my finances would be a lot worse during my mat leave so I'm proud to say that they haven't. 

I have started selling on Vinted although it gone a bit quiet at the moment and the majority seem to want things for pennies. I have also started surveys and I've made £50 in nearly three weeks, time consuming but I love the dopamine hit when it reaches my account. I have downloaded the app jam doughnut which I intend to use for my future shopping and other purchases. If anybody has any other tips to earn a few extra pounds I'd be happy to hear them. 

So my aim now is to continuing making payments and I will be able to contribute some more once I am back on a normal wage, my wage won't be a lot extra as I went on a mortgage interest only for 6 month so my mortgage payment goes back to the full payment this month (only £10 more than I was paying originally) but I have saved for this. I have been doing KIT days with work so will see that in my wage next month. 

Nannyglasses

Well done on a great start.
 I'm still trying to pluck up the courage to start my own diary and finally admit the extent of my debts .
Until then I will continue to follow the diaries on here for help and inspiration.

flamingo22

Nannyglasses said:y

Well done on a great start.
 I'm still trying to pluck up the courage to start my own diary and finally admit the extent of my debts .
Until then I will continue to follow the diaries on here for help and inspiration.

You'll do it when you're ready, it's taken me a while to finally post. Debt is a horrible place to be, wishing you well and I will keep my eye out for your upcoming diary. 

Middle_Aged_Guy

flamingo22 said:

Middle_Aged_Guy said:

flamingo22 said:

I've been a lurker on here for a while now and kept meaning to start my own diary but for some reason or not I haven't, I now know it's probably because of the shame I'm feeling. I've had some kind of debt for as long as I can remember but never to this extent. 8 years ago I had just paid off £3000 on my credit card and bought my first house. Furnishing the house went back into my credit card and I then applied for a couple of loans to continuing furnishing my home. These debts were manageable and I felt quite content with my life and everything was fine. I then began with anxiety in my job and the thought of going in everyday was filling me with dread, this was during the pandemic and working in the NHS. I decided to go back to uni so that I could apply for another role, I got accepted however my wage would decrease for the duration of the training, this was fine and I worked over time all throughout the summer so that this money would top up my wage throughout the course. My first wage hit and it was worse than I thought, it worked out that I would be getting £12000 per less a year (I originally had thought it would be £6000-£7000). The money that I had saved had gotten swallowed up in the first couple of months, I applied for a consolidation loan, got accepted but still couldn't manage with this, so back to the credit cards I went. This has been my life for the past few years, consolidation loan after consolidation loan and still using my credit cards. I now realise that consolidating is not the answer, if only I had realised this a while ago I may not be in the mess I am now at the point where my total debt is £52000 ish, even just writing that makes me want to vomit. I am managing paying my payments, I haven't missed any payments and my debt free date is December 2027, if all goes to plan. I wanted to start this diary to get advice, support and just a lending ear from those of you who are in my position or have been. I realise debt is a lonely place to be and for me it's always lurking in the background ready to give me a new pang of anxiety. 

Thanks for reading if you've got this far. 

Hello Flamingo22,

Well done for getting this far! The fact you have been brave enough to finally face up to the debt and start this diary shows just how far you have come.

I have bookmarked your diary and will be cheering you on from the sidelines! 

You can and will do this..

M.A.G.

Thanks for the cheers, I think I will need it. Have you got a diary that I can bookmark, I'm still navigating this site and cannot seem to find one for you, send me the link of you have.

Hello Flamingo22,

I dont have a diary, I had my lightbulb moment about 2 months ago after discovering MSE debt free diaries and reading them has given me the necessary kick up the butt ive required for years.

I have lived in debt pretty much all of my adult life (40 yrs old) and haven't really experienced what it would be like, not to owe anyone a penny!

Ill will use you and others for inspiration and very much looking forward to seeing you smash this debt! (May consider starting a diary, we will see  

M.A.G.

Ordinary_Yet_Unique

@Nannyglasses and @Middle_Aged_Guy I would encourage you to begin your own diaries. There are lots of people here waiting to make suggestions and give support as you make your debt free journeys.  Just getting things down and into the open is therapeutic. 

flamingo22

Not much to update from today, apart from I managed to save £6 on my tv/broadband bill. I renewed it 3 days after my littlest was born and at the time £74 a month for two years must've seemed good, either that I was trying to get the mithering Minnie off the phone so I could have a snooze while my baby slept. Anyway £6 is better in my pocket than theirs. He's told me to ring back again in October to see if I can get any more money knocked off.
today I did a shift in work and it was a NSD, which for me is amazing, I normally need a sugar rush in the afternoon (at work) to drag me through the remaining hours, but I resisted, why did I ever think it was a good idea to spend nearly £1.80 on a bottle of coke 🙄 I probably could've cleared one of my debts by now. Anyway look to the future not the past, payday tomorrow so it'll be good to see some figures reducing.